Hello all,

Eating a breakfast with a protein and fiber made a difference yesterday.
I had a hair appointment over lunch hour and picked up my all time favorite Pria bars and had 2 at the hairdressers, then a 3rd about 3:30. Had an apple somewhere in there too.
I had a meeting last night and was afraid to go outside into the heat with a full stomach so waited until I came home. Cereal mixed into yogurt was all I needed. And that's when I remembered how the bigger meal in the morning always worked better for me.


Of course, the heat is an appetite suppressant and I expect to have my regular appetite when the temperatures drop.

But at least I had a head start on the day with a solid meal in me before I became too distracted and lost track of time.

Baby steps.

The more I post, the more I feel urges to write more....always wanted a subject I understood..... beginning to see a direction.


Here's to all of us!!



****************************
*********************
Thought of the day:

"Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions.
......The really great (people) make you believe that you too can become great."
Mark Twain


Question of the day:

"What is the best recipe to make mashed potatoes?"

Hello, royals, just an ex-royal here travelin' in the land to say hello.

Haven't caught up with all the posts right now.

Hugs to Kaylets!

I am still trying to "relose" a 21 pound regain, start a new career after having left the previous one, am all about positivity in attitude these days even though it has been weeks on my 21 day challenge and I did finally lose three pounds, slow and stead but getting there.

Hope to be here more if welcome.

Sorry to be always comin' and goin' with years in between.

Woot for the weekend!

Empress!! How nice to have you in the Palace! How wonderful! All good things with your new career choice. Still in the writing field? I could so easily your alter egos in adventures.....
And....yes, always welcome Empress!

Wood Nymph - Thank you!
We learn and we learn..................


Anagram- how is this summer treating you? How can it be so hot???

Wsw--hope you are doing well. My best to you and as I write, am getting perspective on the heat......hope you are near a/c and cool breezes................


So, back to learn and learn.
This weekend was 7th month since DH's death. Meanwhile, someone I have known for a long time had asked if I would drive DH's truck to the land fill place with a load of yard stuff.... branches, etc, etc. Its about the 4th time I was asked but between the heat, etc, etc, our schedules didn't mesh.
I explained that this was an annivesary weekend but then the request became " Even my son told me, ' Mom, you promised to get that truck, keep your promise'..........
( Interesting persuasive tactic don't you think?)
(Was also reminded by this individual that they also had a sad anniversary themselves on Sat ....)

Sunday, I drove the truck to their house and I was tense. It was not a good weekend for me to be driving DH's truck. Also, I didn't know how to get to the place and was relying on GPS which added to stress level.
Nearly went North on interstate than South and then, when making correction for right direction, ran a light.
I then announced that until I found the place, I was not going to converse as I was obviously distracted and needed to focus.
Response was a loud "Well!".................

We did find the place without any other issues and I watched the birds as the truck was unloaded.

Then, the oddest thing--- on the return trip home, this individual said,
"This may be none of my business and I have no idea how much money you have, but have you considered buying a piece of property and opening an animal rescue and then I could quit my job and work for you. Is that something you would do?".......................
I have to admit, I was prepared and felt the question was a fishing expedition with multiple bait..........And just chuckled a little and said "Not unless I hit Powerball ( lottery)"....................

So....my lesson.....

Just when you think its safe to go back in the water........no, that was from Jaws.....

Its fascinating to me that the 'idea' that now I have something I didn't have before changes the relationship. True, previously, I was always the 'stronger' who assumed when it was my turn the support would be reciprocated......(although DH warned me many times I would not)
But now, in retrospect, I see that although I had been told "your friendship means everything to me, what would I do without you"....I was the 911 for rides for cigarettes and soda, etc. Everything was a 911 situation to manipulate. And, I realize now, the relationship was based on what could be gotten from me. And now, the perception is that I have more so the request size has increased. But with the same emotional manipulation.... "our friendship means so much, I need xyz now or I'll be in trouble, no one else will help me...."...........................

Its difficult because you want to act with compassion and empathy.

Yet, it seems they see you coming a mile away.................

And expect that you won't catch on...........that would have been an interesting employer/employee relationship...........................


*******************************
*******************************
Thought of the day:

"Those we have lost
Are no longer where they were
But are always where we are ..."
Enya



Question of the day:

"Do you still drink your morning hot coffee or hot tea when its really warm outside?"

Thank ye for the welcome, Kaylets! I am still in the writing field, but not a reporter at the moment, doing some contract work.

Huzzah to Wsw, Anagram and Wood Nymph, and all royals herein.

About Moi: Very familiar at the moment with that Jaws feeling. In the process of extricating self from toxic (and scary) pseudo friendships of one kind and other.

I have the strength to do it.

Lol, one of those toxic relationships is with these extra pounds, 18 to go. I am doing a new 14 day challenge of 1900 calories or less, with the focus being on less. I lost three pounds more or less doing this on a 21 day challenge.

My current fantasy name has reverted to Tess of the Hinterland, as I wander about my new career life and try to figure out who this aging person really is.

My motto is currently "Still the Witch, Not the Hag."

I am blogging all over the place like crazy, sending out the plea to the universe that I just want to lose the stupid pounds.

I exercise daily and log it. Current entry:

MONDAY, July 18, Day 222 of streakity streak of no day missed of daily exercise, 2nd session, 30 min yoga (three presets from Shiva Rea's Yoga Trance Dance), total streakity streak minutes so far 13160!

And I have insomnia so may pop in during the wee hours at times, now that I am wanderin' in the neighborhood here.

Woot!

By Royal Proclamation, cool breezes will lift from the Royal Lake, the shade trees will double in size and all ice buckets will remain full.

Goodness gracious, heat index here is more dangerous than yesterday.......

Its small comfort that the rest of the country is also steamy hot. It is record breaking here and I am far less physically able to cope with the heat than ever.

So, it's early to rise and run an errand, cook something for later or even hang something out to dry. I was supposed to go to a function this evening, a picnic outside...... I have emailed the group asking if we could reschedule, if not, I will be unable to attend.......Eating in the heat is even harder for me....



I have noticed a couple of food/drink products advertising that they are made with real sugar; no artificial sweetners. How interesting that one of them is Crystal Light. I have stopped using the artifical whenever possible, I am only seeing real sweetner and am experiencing remarkably fewer cravings.
Of course, I still can't 'keep' certain things in the house, its still all or nothing and I can almost say, I don't miss them.


Empress ( or Tess )..... Career change seems to be in the air; I too am figuring where the road leads.

I am enjoying many mottos, I still enjoy a quote that packs a wallop.

And yes, you're right, I have less than healthy relationships with more than just people.

In fact, lately, I have a sense of watching myself as though another person and its an interesting point of view.


Anagram, Woodnymph, wsw, hope you are all doing well. Here's to all of us!

Just a fly-by FYI -- An aunt died on the weekend. The wake was Monday (insert childish whine here: also my birthday) and the funeral yesterday. What with all the events and emotions around that, I feel like I've been through the wars.

Amarantha, welcome back to the palace! I look forward to catching up.

Kaylets, re: the truck story -- oh my! That sounds like a relationship to ditch. I find it funny how hard it can be to realize when people's requests and demands are unreasonable.

Anagram

I'll be back soon.

Huzzah, Empress! On coming back, on changing careers, and on once again winning the weight battles.

I've been bad because I've been away or I've been away because I've been bad. Never quite know which comes first. I spent all of last week in the 2s again. Then a few days down a bit. Hating the heat but changing life up a bit again. Went to track yesterday alone, going to a movie today, also alone. Tired of dealing with (some) people for the nonce.

Kaylets, your truck story is incredible but not unlike some situations I've had here and there. Nothing like a huge life change to bring to light things we maybe should have seen before. I've toughened up a bit. Self-protection is not a bad thing and sometimes we are forced into it. I tend some times to be way too flexible (because often I really don't care) but decided it's time to rein that in (along with many other things). I swear if I live to be 95, I may get my act together someday.

DD/crew were here parts of the last two weekends and I've otherwise been flitting hither and yon. Doing pool though and tai chi back to more normal.

Happy belated birthday, Arabella. Sorry about your aunt. But pick a day of your choice and call it your birthday day and do whatever suits your soul. You deserve it. "Summery things" sounds like a good plan. Actually that's my game plan at the moment too.

Still need new computer. Researching and hope to hit a good "back to school" sale. I'm saying I deserve an upgrade and not to have to suffer with the idiosyncrasies of this one. But not ambitious enough to do the grunt work yet.

Well, anyone with rain can send a bit our way. Yard is getting grungy looking, needs weeding and pulling them is like they're in concrete. Overall satisfied with that one little part of my life though. The PoPaC motif this year was purple with a tad of pink (one geranium). Various shades of purple. I LIKE IT

So, a lovely, hot summer's day to ye all.

Woot to all! Thanks for the welcome backs from Wood Nymph and Anagram! Woot, nice to be here.

Yea, Kaylets, it is like watching myself from the outside, trying to find me again. It is hot in AZ always but this year verra much botherin' me when usually I like it, think it is the said career change and feelin' adrift in the Hinterland, will find my direction, always do, last year at this time I was returnin' to work following a number of months off due to injury and now I am not in that job and it just feels strange and am happy to have work to do but just weirdly ambivalent.

Went all teary today when a friend canceled going to a luncheon with me so just didn't go to the luncheon because I realized it didn't matter if I went or not anymore. Weird lol.

Went to Sprouts and got more sugar free things. I am actually just starting to use artificial sweeteners again as I was so deeply into eating sugar that I needed a mechanism to reduce that (not eliminate, did actually eat a piece of Sprout's cake). Calories good.

Did the exercise, that is not a problem. My streak looks like this:

WEDNESDAY, July 20, Day 224 of streakity streak of no day missed of daily exercise, 60 min weights, 20 min abs/core (10 Min Blast off Belly Fat DVD, 2 sections), total streakity streak minutes so far 13330!

***
Yea, happy belated b'day, Arabella, also sorry about thy aunt.

Anagram, hope ye find a computer. I am currently using only a netbook and BlackBerry for work and personal and would really like a bigger desktop computer also.

***
Sorry this is kind of a disjointed me-me postie, it will take awhile to catch up.

See thee, royals!

I am on Day 3 of my 14-day challenge of 1900 or less cals and it will easily be a success.

I did pick a high number as when I try to go too low, I can't sustain that, but I think my calorie needs are going to change due to the new form of career that is not as physical.

Hello all,


By Royal Proclamation, the cool breezes will continue, birds will sing pleasantly in the shade trees and we will glisten rather than perspire.

Empress, I cannot agree with you more, I am convinced my last big weightloss journey rebounded as it did in large part because my goal was too low. I recently saw a couple pictures of myself at that goal weight and I know why I was approached by a couple people telling me I was becoming too thin.

And now.... well.... it is what is for me and all I can do today is work with today.
Interesting side note, I had to move a full length mirror to clean and the closest landing place is against the wall leading to the kitchen. And since the weather has me dressing so 'casually'..........let me tell you, the reflection of myself keeps me mindful! "just want something" has become " glass of water" much more often since that mirror landed where it did.


WoodNymph..... so sorry about your aunt. My best to you and your family.
And I agree with Anagram..... pick another day and celebrate your birthday, its the Royal thing to do!

Anagram.... I have two experiences, one just last night on a live chat when my tiny system locked up and stayed locked up. I don't have any Office programs and wanted to complete an application on Thursday and the software I did have wouldn't let me complete the form. I do not have enough room to download Office, etc, etc...................
I have been holding off trying to be thrifty but have to be realistic, I am now missing out or in fact, with the chat last night, ( of course, it was when things became very intense) leaving folks in the lurch.

My brother told me that BJ's Club has a Toshiba laptop that he would get for himself. He is a computer expert so that is a very good recommendation. And the Toshiba he recommened has an instore rebate of $100. I plan to make some calls to see if the local stores have it in stock. I will then have to download the Office software but that's the least of it.

I have some plans trying to put into motion and a better system is a requirement.


And just a quick note re the 'truck issue' .............I remained under the radar most of this past week but recvd a call Thur with the comment " Haven't heard from you all week".....I just said something non committal about how quickly the week went by and for most of the conversation, just listened. So much less stressful.
Friday, same person asked if I had plans Friday evening and I honestly answered that I did.
Sunday, very early we did go to breakfast. Even before we got to the diner, the conversation started about "If we each buy an acre of land......"..........I just listened and waited for a distraction as we were getting out of the car, being shown our seats, etc.
Then, close to the end of the meal, the subject was brought up again..... one acre, self sufficent, a cow, a couple pigs, etc, etc. I wanted to point out the weather had to cooperate but I JUST listened. And again, the waitress distracted........

Lesson...............By not engaging in these conversations about what I might or might not buy, 1) My stress level is much less. 2) with this individual, a distraction will change the subject and I've retained my privacy as well as 3) avoided over reacting ..................
Lesson 2...... I was beginning to feel as though I had overreacted the previous weekend.............but no, again, although this 'one acre sustainable farming' idea is a pipe dream, I am convinced its another fishing expedition.
Lesson 3.....Anagram said it so well.... we have to protect ourselves, be our own advocates.......mentally, physically, etc, we need to be our own 'guardian angel' and do our best not to be taken advantage.

***********************
***********************
Thought of the day:

"All that we do is touched with ocean,
yet we remain on the shore of what we know."
Richard Wilbur



Question of the day:

"Which radio station is your favorite?"

Woot, Kaylets. I think I meant my calorie goals are too low sometimes. Not my weight goal. It remains at 125, which is where I had gotten to and was for a long time and was really comfortable with.

But I don't seem to be able to sustain a low calorie goal for this journey to relose the bit I regained. I would like to do this faster and just zip through it, but it is the turtle route that works for me.

Re goals, I don't care who thinks my goal should be higher as to weight (or lower lol), mine is just right and I'll get there.

Lol, now I have to get back to my work project. Hope to get this done and turned in today.

By Royal Proclamation, it will be Tuesday to match the rest of the world.


I see, Empress, I misunderstood what you meant re calories; yet for me, my 'goal' weight was too low. Somehow my 'figure' hips, chest will reduce but I will lose first elsewhere........my shape ( up until recent years when the waistline disappeared) always 'balances' itself.
My mistake for too long was not recognizing that the charts are just to low for me.
Only by about 8-10 lbs ( as I have been able to get that close and maintain a few times in my life) but still, too low.

And finally, finally, finally, this time of my life, I can sincerely say that being honest with myself just about that fact is such a relief. How interesting that I carry so much guilt about the number on the weight chart.
Perhaps that's another reason I am so cynical about so many things marketed.

but I am rambling.


I went to a Grief Meeting last night and recognize now that b/4 hand I have some anxiety and crave chocolate/icecream/ etc b/4hand, etc.
However, I had a light dinner about 5pm and stopped at the grocery store on the way home. It's true, I stopped at the bakery but the mark down rack wasn't inexpensive enough to tempt me and its very hard to justify buying an entire pie, cake, etc when it's just me.

But, the dill pickles were on sale which is funny to me when I was tasting chocolate but to me, means I'm getting closer to being mindful, being alert to what if its just mouth hunger, what else might work without setting up that sugar cycle again.

When I got home, I had raisin bran mixed into vanilla lofat yogurt and 2 bananas. Exciting? Not quite but definitely, something I do enjoy and it worked.


Rain last night, temps dropped almost 20 degrees, such a relief!
Not as much rain as I would like to see but am grateful none the less.


I am borrowing a page from you Empress.... a tiny challenge for myself today......up and down the stairs 5 x for no reason. ( of course, I will try to bring something with me, up or down)......

and then unrelated to fitness.....
shred more of the mountain for recyling pickup on Friday
wetmop the livingroom/kitchen ( linoleum and dogs = beautiful thing!)
Get 3 pieces of correspondence to the postoffice


Past my deadline for breakfast so am off to my royal blackbean burger with brown mustard...... hmmmmmm..... and how about a dill pickle?


Here we go Tuesday, here we go!

Woot, all! Kaylets, I did mean calories per day as am overall happy with my total goal, which is to be back where I had reached and stayed for a goodly time.

However this week, as I start another 14-day challenge round tomorrow, I did reformulate my more immediate goal to 10 pounds down from where I am today. So yea, I see what you mean about it being good to look at the goal weight also.

I guess for me now, this is just a changing of the dates and a new start. I am happy with my weigh-in but need to be patient as to the getting to that exact number. So I coincided my 10-pound goal to a date in September by which I hope to have made some career decisions or progress as well as other things are going to be happening I hope.

Wood Nymph, my career is still in flux. I am doing a job as an independent contractor that is quite different (and yet uses similar skills as my long-time past career), but we'll see ...

I also would like a more physical job ... working in a plant nursery or something maybe?

Thinkin' ...

Meantime I am on my last day of the 14 day challenge. Did start working this morning and then just bagged it and walked and jogged for hours.

The truth being that the work is still going to be there on Monday as if I work more today, I'll just stretch it out like I always do with deadlines and eat more and maybe binge, which is not consistent with my new 14-day challenge.

I started a support thread for the 14 day challenges here at 3FC and will document it there, also bloggin' it everywhere and generally blathering about it all over cyberspace.

Somehow that helps me stick, but I do not post my weight anymore, just pounds lost or gained or behaviors that lead to that.

I look in here daily and if I see a post, I post, do want to be here more.

Woot! Huzzah!

I am already on a good path to that 10, I think.

How did it ever get to be the last day of July already? Hot today but not as humid and nice and breezy on the PoP&C where I lazed a while reading. That was after a little concert at an historic church nearby. So a lazy day.

Having back and leg problems. Trying to get it together w/o physical therapy but maybe I'll be smart and do as dr. says. I think I just did a bit too much weeding once the weather allowed.

Computer still same. I've looked a bit and done research but knew my "geek squad" (DS) was travelling and not available anyway. Plus I was waiting for the "back to school" sales which are pretty much in full swing.

Have a Free Memership coupon for BJs so will look there too as you suggest, Kaylets.

Sorry for the me-me. Wanted to check in while computer is behaving. Back to 198.2 this a.m. One really salty meal can do me in for weeks.

Dinnertime - already? Hmmm...Must work on the 195 goal before I run into another salty meal.