If you have a binge (and unfortunately many of us do. sigh), post it here, please, ladies. (and gents, if there are any around)
This makes it easier for those of us who are sensitive to reading about binges. Sometimes just reading about a certain type of food will set some people off onto a binge.

Thanks, everyone.

(second day, binge-free for me!)

Hi Ellis
I am binge free for my 4 day straight. I am going to a freshman dance at our school and I put on my new outfit for it and i feel so much better in ti now. After all the orking out adn being pretty good I see some imporvement in my probme areas, I am so happy! I have to go get ready adn everything but talk to everyone later.

Ugh, I so did not want to be the first one to confess a binge. I binged twice yesterday (mashed potatoes, 2 pints of ice cream, hash browns, meat loaf, chocolate, and much, much more oh the horror) and then again today. I'm so jealous everyone is doing better than I am. I want to do good too, but I'm so weak. And I'm going to babysit tonight and I'll probably find more to eat over there. I'm so glad this month is ending. I'm going to do so much better next month. And I need to start exercising again. I've been so lazy.

Is it psychotic to be jealous of you guys to be binge-free? I'm proud of you (of course), but I want to be binge free too!! You are both doing great!!!

Hope you have fun at your dance, Kristen. I never went to a high school dance ONCE. I haven't worn a dress in 15 years, but if I saw one that I liked now, I'd buy it!!

Why do I have an impending feeling of doom for the next couple of days, like I'm not even going to try to NOT binge? Because it's the end of the month and Monday we get to start anew? Or because it's my mom's birthday on Sunday and I haven't bought her anything yet and am thinking about taking her out to lunch instead?

I had a binge today... so you are not alone harpo. I had 2 pieces of pizza (rather large slices) and 2 breadsticks.

Not quite the size of the binges I'm used to, and I would have kept going had my mother in law not walked into the resteraunt I was at! Talk about mortified!! She said she'd been at the mall and saw my car and thought she'd join me

Congratulations on the 4 days Kristen, and have a great time at the dance!

-Lala

So, I didn't have the guts to post it yesterday, but today my boogie is back in full swing, so I'll let spill. I had a partial binge... maybe an averted binge?

First, I haven't actually binged in a long time. Probably not since I quit my job in December. I binge when I'm angry or deeply depressed, and I was always coming home angry and depressed from that place. So...

Someone lent me a book. It touched on some emotional issues that I thought I had long, long ago put away. About five or so years ago, hubby and I were in the last throes of deciding for all and for good that we were not having children. We both wavered back and forth a lot for a while, then finally settled on no. It's been years since we made that decision, I'm getting ever closer to 40, and I thought that issue was done. Apparently not. So...

I met my hubby and a friend for lunch. On the way I was thinking about some things... and crying... So when I got to the restaurant I thought I was back under control, but I ate sooooo much. Indian restaurant... double portion of makhani, double portion of rice... I lost count of the flatbread... my stomach was hard and sore. I drove home thinking about what else I could eat when I got there. So....

Luckily I came to the boards first. I read some posts for a while, leaning back.... my cat came up and claimed her place on my shoulder. She's a little neurotic, and hard to give affection to, so when she comes to me I stop everything, pet her a little, and listen to her purr. We both fell asleep and when I woke up, the binge-y feeling had passed, and I just felt sick.

Thank you all for being here every day, so I had a place to come instead of heading straight for the 'fridge.

-La

Thanks guys
The dance was fun even though most of our freshman class decided not to show up. But we had fun, it was more like a club canteen thing than a formal but it was really fun. I made my April goal and lost 4 lbs!! I binged a tiny bit today so I have to stop right now!
Im going to babysit now hope theres nothing to bad in the house!
<3 Kristen

Kristen, I'm glad you had fun at the dance!! Stop the binging... you're too beautiful to put crappy food in your body!!

Lala, I'm so sorry you had a rough day. The decision to have children is such a difficult one. I have so much admiration for people like you. Most of us just think that having kids is "the thing to do", and we plunge into parenthood without thinking about it. I probably wouldn't have had kids if I'd really thought about it. (not that I'd go back... I love my children more than anything)
Any major decision like that is difficult, but know that it's your choice, and feel good about your decision. We're always going to have regrets.

Harpo, it's totally normal to be jealous. I hear you, hon. When the rest of you are doing well, I think, "Would you SHUT UP!!!!"
Why don't you let yourself "go" for the weekend. Don't give in to an all-out binge, but just enjoy yourself. Like you said, Monday is a fresh start for all of us, and I for one won't let you fall behind.

MtaTJac, too funny about your MIL. It was fate!!

I've had several crummy days. Not full-out binge days, but not good. I'm doing well today (knock on wood), and I'm back exercising. I think that's key for me. When I stop exercising, I stop eating well...

Thanks for the compliment Ellis!
I wouldn't feel as beautiful as I do without the support of all of the women here including you who have helped me stay on track. Because of all the ladies here I was able to reach my April goal of losing 4 lbs!!! I am very happy and greatful for all of your support. The weight los has helped me stay positive and realize I can reach my weight loss goals if I put my mind to it. I kind of realized that the less I focus on my bingeing the less I actually binge, if I shift my mind to thinking about hte positve things I am doing such as exercising and eating more fruits nad vegetables as well as increasing my water intake, it makes me much happier and less likely to binge.

O YEA AND I MADE MY OTHER GOAL FOR MYSELF...BEING SOCIAL WITHOUT FOOD!!!!!!!!!

Omg what a breakthrough, I was at my dance as you all know and there was lots to eat, but I drank 2 botles of water ( which filled me up )and I was on the dance floor non stop for 4 hours!!! I ate dinner before I got to the dance, and I was not hungry because of that. Also, for things liek the movies, I just don't have food, although it is tempting I try to avoid going to the snack counter as hard as it is sometimes. If I do get tempted I usually have a diet soda or the candy I know will od the least damage. If I go out to dinner, I have something like a salad then a smaller dinner because eating the greens before I even eat my meal helps me stay fuller longer, and I don't have to feel deprived or guilty.

I am having a winderful week and I hope the rest of you do too, keep going strong, I am cheering for you literally, because you gys know I am attempting to make cheerleading, anyway have tons of hw literally and then tomorow I have a 6 miles March of Dimes walk to do. But I did about 4 hrs yesterday of exercise since I was really dancing! lol
GOOD LUCK LADIES!!!!

hi everyone

i haven't binged yet today but i am borderline. i really really want to binge. i am thinking about making a big batch of cookies or going to buy something from the supermarket. i am trying to make a very difficult decision and i always have food when i make difficult decisions or alcohol and i'm finding it hard to break that pattern.

i had a healthy dinner (stirfry w calamari) but i don't feel full. the same happened at lunch. i had a mcd combo meal for lunch and that is a big meal but didn't hit the spot. i've also had marshmallows, choc covered almonds and a few other sweeties. so far good but.......... ARGGGGH!!! i wanna binge

harpo - i get jealous too. altho what really gets my goat are the stick insects who weigh 125lb (or anything less than 140lb) and complain endlessly that they had 1 extra piece of cake or that they had cake at all. i just wanna slap them silly i get so jealous and bitter

kristen- you're doing great. 4lb wahoo way to go

ellis - glad you're back on track

lala well done on stopping the binge. i';m trying to learn from you

Sweet pea - Thanks... But really, it's because I was able to come here, and well, 'cause of my neurotic cat! She chose the perfect moment to come put me to sleep!

-Lala

Hi all!
Ok so I hurt my foot yesterday practicing the cheering jumps and I think I may have sprained it, it really hurts but it's definiltley not broken. I need to ice it and do abs today now that I can't practice, but I need strong abs to do the jumps anyway. Ok I gtg I have tons to do..
O yea and yesterday I binged I had 3 strawberry shortcake ice cream pops and a few other things I don't remember everything but I was bad

hi all

i keep eating things i don't even want. i had some pineapple lumps and they don't taste good and i keep eating them, and muesli bars. i have to stop myself before i binge.

kristen hope you feel better soon

Hey you guys. this is sooo hard for me, but I'm gonna try, because I feel like part of this process for me is to somehow stop the secrecy--even still i changed my avatar so i can hide my face today.

OK so today I had a rough day. I knew in advance it would be a rough day (several demands on my time for other people that I was feeling resentful about). So, I started early and took some time to sit at a coffee shop to have a few minutes for myself. But as the day went on the feelings of resentment grew worse and I wasn't able to eat when I was hungry at lunch time--well let me say I chose not to inconvenience other people so I could when I was hungry--so I just got waaaay too hungry. So I decided I wanted chicken wings--part of my process is to really honor my cravings and just eat until I'm satisfied (and truly when I'm being conscious I eat like 2 or 3).

ANYWAY, so I go into the wing place and place my order, I give them my check card and it comes back declined. I was so embarrassed and confused because I didn't know why my card would be declined so I leave saying that I'm going to the cash machine. I go to the cash machine and it also tells me I have insufficient funds--and I swear I don't know what the deal is and my bank is closed and at this point I'm too frustrated to use the automated system.

So I'm in tears here and I just start driving--I'm soo hungry because I hadn't eaten and it's now 4:00 and I don't have any money and I'm stuck on the opposite side of town from home because I have to pick my son up in 1/2 hour. So I just drive and lo and behold a CVS. Well I have a JC Penneys card and they take that at CVS so it was ON! I pull in to CVS buy a box of those chocolate covered donettes, a box of lorna doone cookies, 3 clearance priced bags of easter chocolates, a hollow lindt chocolate bunny, a bag of Lays potato chips, and a coke. I fidget through my wallet to get the money out and I'm clearly agitated at the register. I pay, get in my car and literally rip open the chocolate donuts. I start eating those as I drive to find a bigger parking lot.

I pull into the parking lot of a strip mall and my stomach already hurts and I've eaten--I don't know maybe 7 or 8 of those little donuts and a quarter of my bottle of coke. But I sit there and eat 7 or 8 lorna doone cookies, some, not many, of the potato chips, a couple more donuts, and most of the rest of the coke. And then I open the bunny and crush its head into pieces I can eat--it feels poetic. I eat the head, I feel like I'm gonna puke now, my mouth is coated with what feels like greasy wax and I throw the rest of the rabbit out into the rain and sit there in my car and cry like a baby. I'm actually disappointed at how little I could eat and all I could think was that this, this, was truly a low point for me.

I sit there for a bit, brush myself off, pull myself together, go get my son, and I ask him if he had a good time at his cousin's birthday party.

In the end it turns out the bank is just holding a deposit for the car my husband rented for his weekend trip--just enough to hold up my funds for the weekend. But I was so frustrated and it's my natural reaction.

I'm outdone you guys. I really am. There's this part of me that wants to say--look here woman, you just sat in a car and ate crappy food that you're going to pay interest on until you were sick--if not now then when? you know, that maybe this is that defining moment where I see the craziness and really make a change. But there's this other side of me that knows that the 'defining moment' thing is BS and that I'm hopeless--or that at the most I can expect is that I'll keep trying and keep going back in an endless cycle of trying to be positive and bingeing and dusting myself off and trying again and ... the cycle goes on.

So then I come home and sit and watch discovery health and the story about the half ton man and I wonder where my breaking point is? I wonder what it will take? I wonder if that will be my son one day because my eating issues are already affecting him. And I recognize so clearly the diet madness cycle. It's like the minute I start thinking about losing weight and how much weight I need to lose, and how much damage I'm doing to my little baby child (my nine year old precious boy), I feel hungry and empty. And I feel out of control.

Sorry to drop this here, but I appreciate this space and I appreciate you for reading about me. It's not exactly the sort of thing I'd call and tell anyone.
You guys must be thinking, damn, she went from positive to positively crazy overnight, but I had to let this out somewhere. Thanks for listening and know that I will dust myself off--I always do.

jayrobella, I am sorry that you had such a f... bad day.
I wish I could say (ähm, write) something to help you or cheer you up, but unfortunately I canīt ....

But in my humble opinion your binge wasnīt "just psychic" triggered (anyone an idea what I want to say?), it was a real bad mix between a bad day and a very low blood sugar and hunger. Donīt make it better, ok, I see...

I tend to have such situations (Rate: 9 of 10) when visiting classes in University. Itīs far away from home, I am stressed and I have to admit that i have to struggel with a bit of panic there. So the first thing I do is: being afraid of eating in front of all that people. So I donīt go to the cafeteria. My blood sugar level reaches the bottom, meets the rising panic level...I binge at high sugar food. Congratulations.
Ok, not helpful, but I know the situation. Thatīs what I wanted to express...

About the breaking point: I waited for the "breaking point" which helps me to stop my ED for years. Donīt know if I missed it, if I have to go on another ride on the vicious circle to meet my lowest point.
I had a breaking point that helped me becoming sober. Very low point in my life. But I know several people literally dying while waiting for there "breaking point", so I am confused about that "breaking point" thing.

Was my rambling helpful? I guess not But I am thinking of you So, dust yourself up, go to sleep, and start new tomorrow (today? Wonderful time zones!)

BTW, I love the saying under your post! I found the whole poem in a tea box last year (seriously!) and love it!


Kate