The pain
 

Hi all
Just checking in with you all as I am stressing alot over the pain of having a natural birth.
I seem to have a crick in my neck and feel continually tense and stressed at the thought of labour. The stress is compounded a bit by the thought of complications with a VBAC. I didnt get to labour last time.
I really do not want to have an epidural, but pethidine will probably not help much.
Any advice?? 3 and a half weeks to go!!

Having worked 5 yrs. as a labor and delivery nurse, I'd say don't be afraid to take pain medicine when you need it. Also, epidurals are safer now than they used to be and I've seen thousands of them used without complications. Good luck on your new baby to come.

I had the epi on standby. Wanted to try natural. But by about a dozen contractions, after I started feeling them, I said NOPE! And wanted the epi. I've had two with an epi and never had any problems with either.

I wouldn't have an epi with my VBA2C because I didn't like the risks, but plenty of women have them with no trouble.

Don't discount nondrug forms of pain relief. Seriously, the heating pad my nurse gave me did more good than the narcotic. And the Bradley Method (Husband Coached Childbirth is the original book, but there are others) did me a world of good in my first labor. Conscious relaxation, basically. Birthing from Within is also good, IMO, and The Birth Book has a great amount of information on various forms of pain control. Can you tell I like to read? ;)

The thing is, as a VBAC your labor will probably take a while. So try to relax at home as long as you can. (Birthing from Within has a great explanation of why going to the hospital so often slows things down.) Take a hot shower; it seriously will feel great. Consider getting your own birthing pool--any fairly large-sized kiddie pool with at least 3 individually inflated rings will work. We've got great weather here, so we put ours out on the front porch outside of our laundry room and ran a hose from the hot water faucet for the washing machine and another for cold water. It wasn't 100% for me, but it did take the edge off and I know quite a few women for whom it worked so well they decided to have nothing but waterbirths. :D (Bonus points if your hospital has a birthing pool they'll let you labor in; the VBAC issue makes it iffy, though.)

Really, though, try not to be too scared. The pains of labor are different for every woman. My first labor, which was 8 hours long before the c-section, the pain wasn't anything I couldn't handle. And that was with being induced. It seriously felt just like bad period pains. My labor with Esther was excruciating, but I put no small amount of that on the fact that she was occuput posterior. For every woman who finds it the most painful thing in her life, there is a woman who doesn't feel a whit of pain until her water breaks (my cousin Margaret was always one of these), and about 10 for whom it's somewhere in between. There's no way to guess which you'll be beforehand, so IMO it's not worth stressing over.

Well, the fear just absolutely has to go. (((hugs))) Fear during childbirth can cause other issues, like slowing labor, but it will undoubtedly make the contractions harder to handle. My second labor was very intense - caught me off guard - and, looking back, I think it hurt so badly (particularly towards the end) because I was afraid. My friend highly recommends Hypnobirthing for it's fear-release stuff, but I haven't tried it myself so I can't say how it works. Worth a shot. ;)

Anyway, as for getting rid of fear, you are on the right track! You've identified what you are afraid of and are looking for more info. Keep in mind that your body was made to birth babies and have confidance in that. Listen to and adress any other fears you may have, too. But keep in mind that you probably will never be able to totally be free of fear. If nothing else, it's the unknown you are heading into, and that can be a little scary in itself.

What an oxy moron... Get rid of your fear, but you can't get rid of your fear? LOL I think what I am trying to say is that I found it best to understand that I will be somewhat afraid and that's OK, but not to dwell on it.

Also, you might like reading birth stories. My favorite site was birthdiaries.com

(((hugs))) You can do it, mama!

I have always been told to get ahead of the pain if you can no matter the situation. I would say I probably would enjoy things a whole lot more if I didn't have alot of pain to contend with.

It's hard to know what labor will be like until you are there, for sure, and our imaginations are pretty amazing...if we imagine the worst, we can imagine pretty terrible things.

I've delivered babies to moms and the moms have said, "That's wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be." I've delivered babies to women in your situation who have showed at the hospital completely dilated and surprised to be so advanced in labor. I've recommended epidurals at 2 cm dilated for women who just weren't coping well.

One question is how bad are your periods? I have noticed a definite correlation with women who have horrible periods seeming to have a harder time in labor.

Seek out information, like you are, and believe in your body. My advice would be to go in with an open mind. Laboring in water is wonderful (if you can at your hospital, having a VBAC). Epidurals definitely have their place, too, and there is no shame in choosing one if and when you feel you would benefit from it. Take the contractions one at a time and know there are so many ways to birth a baby. You will birth this baby the right way for you and your baby. You will do well.

midwife

I think that every individual labor and delivery is different. I had pain with my daughter from the earliest stages of labor that slowly worsened as I progressed(and my labor progressed slowly), and with my son I had no strong pain except "period like cramps" all the way until I was at 8cm and my water broke-and then it was stronger and more painful very, very suddenly.
I had an epidural with my first-because the pain was so strong from the very early stages, but with my son, I didn't have much pain, just slight discomfort until 8cm...so I just stuck it out with no medication for those last 2cm and the pushing stage.
I felt that for me, I made the right decision both of those times. :)

Since every labor is different-you can't really say yes or no to pain medication until you are in your specific situation and realize what you are dealing with.

My advice is to go into the experience informed since you have not labored before-know the lingo, and read up on vaginal deliveries since it will be different for you this time around. Watch some births on Discovery Channel or the like, and "know" what to expect. I think this is the best way to lessen fear. Other than that, just know that the epidurals are there for a reason...and they *are* wonderful for pain relief if you decide that you cannot handle the pain. Relaxation techniques, and breathing, and things of this nature, of course, you should try first-but if it comes to the point where you feel that you need something to make you more comfortable, then you should do it if you feel you need to.

Good luck. Since I've only experienced labor once, I was going to suggest the shower or hot tub (my parents had one and I just had them turn the temp down to 100 and would be in for 10 out for 10 and it did wonders--this was before my water broke of course.)

You've been given some great advice.

Thankyou all for your wonderful advice. I am just looking forward to the pregnancy being over now as I cannot move quickly AT ALL.
I am going to stay in the shower in the beginning and try to remain at home as long as I can.
I have had horrible periods but since my laporoscopy I have been much better. I will let you know how it goes (2 weeks to go !!)
Thanks again

:hug: I am sure it will go well. It's not too long now, eh?

I just wanted to wish you luck! Like others have said, each labor experience is different (even for the same woman) and you won't know what is coming until you're there. I ended up going through most of my labor w/o meds (got an epi at 8+cm, no complications and LOVED it). The breathing techniques didn't do much for me, but walking did along with swaying side to side during contractions. I started out with back pains and my DH alternated cold and hot presses on my lower back; that also helped relieve the pain. Learn as many different pain management techniques as you can, even ones that seem ridiculous now. That way you have many options to try during labor and can figure out then what works best for your particular labor. Good luck and congratulations!

While it's been a while for me, I spent a lot of time 1) walking, 2) soaking in the bathtub, and 3) making cow-like noises. Don't know why No. 3 helped, but it did. I had home births for both so drugs weren't a possibility.

Good luck!! The prize at the end is worth any pain you may experience. :)