You are a good friend to be concerned -- that's awesome!
I'm going to throw in another POV though.
You weren't there and you are not her and you aren't the doc, right? You are getting this second hand only from what the friend says.
She may not be saying it all to you.
In general you DO want to lose weight with PCOS because it can help reduce so many symptoms, hormone wacky, insulin resistance, etc.
On the FLIP side... getting the dx can be both a relief (yay! I'm not crazy! There's a REASON for all this!) and a HUGE bummer. (OMG! Will I never have kids? There is NO cure? Am I doooomed? Can I afford the costs of chronic patient world? Is my quality of life gonna take a dive? )
It is a LOT to take in. You are working through
the stages of grief at times.
When I got my dx? I was NOT up for telling everyone about it. Just my spouse. People mean well and want to help, but when you feel extra fragile like that you may not want all eyes looking in at you. YKWIM? You don't want to have to explain a condition you may not know a lot about yourself yet. You don't want to answer personal questions like when are you having kids then?
What I wanted to do was start by processing feelings and reading more about PCOS and learn. I did NOT want to start out by hitting the gym!
So if your friend is facing mental health issues, it's not unusual. All new patients can get overwhelmed. Some people take the news better than others.It's not often talked about -- the psychiatric side of PCOS -- but I know I was anxious, depressed, suicidal feeling at times right before the dx because it had been TEN YEARS of no answers! And I'm a cheerful optimistic person in general!
I have no idea which type personality she is (pessimist? optimist? something else?) or how long she's been seeking a dx. Those factors can play in here.
The doc may just want her to let go of weight loss pressure
for now. Focus on boosting her mental health to a better spot. No more than 3 lbs -- like to not be OBSESSING with it. Don't fuel the "new patient overwhelmed" by piling too much on her at once, or actual depression, or anxiety or wherever her mental/emotional health is at right now.
Not because she
never needs to do it. It just may be better in her unique case not to do it FIRST. Putting her mental health needs ahead of the body needs.
But who knows? It may be that he's a clueless doc. I certainly had plenty of them!
But since it's her private patient info... you can't just MAKE her talk.
I'd approach her gently and tell her you want to be as supportive as possible without intruding because you know a PCOS dx can be a lot to take in. That you want to let her know you are here for her but don't want to overwhelm.
Then see where she takes it maybe?
And don't wait for her to tell you what to do. If you are good friends, decide something simple to do for her to show her you care. When in a fog of new dx overload, the last thing I'd want to do it tell others how to help me. That's more load!
Surely she has things that need doing. Everyone does. Make her a coupon book of small tasks like that that she can call you up to redeem.
Go walk her dog, babysit her kid, wash her car, whatever. These small acts of kindness doesn't solve her PCOS probs but it gives her some free time so she can nap, read, think things over, whatever.
Or if you cannot think of small tasks, put hunks of your time on the coupon book with a blank for her to write what she wants you to do . 30 min, 60 min, 90 min cards. Then she could ask you for 30 min of your time to come over and walk the dog or whatever it is.
Your pal is lucky to have you!
GL!
A.
Question about PCOS
