topic for the week: escaping
How have I used excess food to escape life's problems?
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I have been thinking about this one. At first I thought, Well...I eat it!
Then I started thinking about how I love to eat alone at night. Being alone was a big part of it. Also the t.v. or a book. I would start a book (trashy romance being my favorite!;) ) or put in a movie and eat away. When I am alone and wraped up in a fictional story, while feeding my addiction, the escape is complete. No worries, no stress, no problems. I always hated to be interupted because it brought me back to reality. |
never thought I had a problem
I never realized I had a problem until I came into OA. Oh I Knew that I was overweight, but it never dawned on me that I was eating to escape. Being in OA and doing the steps is like finding a secret room in my head where a mirrored door slides open to reveal a life long stroy unfolding. The truth was I hoarded food, gorged at buffets as though someone or something was going to take it away. I was eating as though my survival counted on it. In the insanity of it all I was surrounding my body in fat as a protective layer, so bad things and nasty comments couldn't pierce the protective fat layer. It was mental armour. Now I realize that the emotional baggage I was hiding from can be dealt with in other ways and food is not a salve. I liken it to heroin, for a temporary high and release from reality but the crash gets harder as we get older and our bodies get use to the load.
It was a temporary escape (the sugar rush). Now I enjoy the escape of meditation and seeing where my HP and minds eye take me with this new found room. Happy abstinence. Carlady |
You guys are awesome. You are helping yourselves AND being of great service to others who read this forum. What you've written nails it on the head.
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I have been so busy with school work I have not answered the questions.
I have used food as an escape in that when I am alone, I have used it as a comfort. I have sat there, and mindlessly ate things that I knew were not good for me, but continued. I was not hungry but I just needed comfort. I have used food to be my companion instead of calling a friend. I am so greatful for the tools of OA because I am more aware of what I am doing, and able to stop myself before a binge and give it over to the God of my understanding Thanks for letting me share Denise |
Hey Denise!
Great to hear from you. |
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