The fourth step. eek.
 

Made a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory of Ourselves

Yikes. This was really tough. I just finished today. I hemmed and hawed about it. I prayed about it. I made a half hearted effort at it. I ordered and read a book to help me do it. But the turning point happened at church yesterday. The message was just for me. I prayed beforehand that God would open my heart to the whole of step 4. Wow. Today I had a whole different heart. I started it over, included all the details, and felt a sense of trust that this was a pathway to better things--a happier life, an honest heart, and a freedom from guilt and shame.

It's a good thing that they included the word "Fealess" in this step because it helped me to remember how much fear stands between me and living life to its fullest. Whenever I got scared while working on it, I remembered that I needed to be fearless.

I'm glad it's over. I do feel a sense of relief.

...now on to step 5. eek!

Hugs to you Marny! You are doing so well! Congratulations on your work with this step and wishing you much luck with the next!

I wish that I could do something for you because reading about your journey is helping me in so many ways!

Oy! I'd typed out a response to this earlier, and it's not showing up!?!?!?

Reading this post really made me think about my struggle for a higher power. It just seems so amazing to me that you asked and you recieved. A clear mind was all you really needed and with the help of your higher power you succeeded. What an amazing victory :)

Good Luck with Step 5! (That one scares the jeebies out of me!)

Water-
You do more for me than you'll ever know just by being here, reading, and posting. I couldn't ask for more. It's wonderful to know that my journey of learning is helping more than just me.

Jac--
The decision to surrender to a higher power is not easy. It means giving up a lot of control, trusting something that you can't see, and being vulnerable to whatever the higher power has planned for you.

That you are struggling with it is common and very normal. That you are willing to open your heart to the idea is uncommon and very special.

**The following is my own experience and opinion-- Not directions presumed for anyone**

I couldn't do this without God. He is the difference between a diet and commiting to abstinence. He is at the heart of the steps. I do not have willpower. I am powerless over food--still. It is through His strength and guidance that I am able to to clearly and sanely think through food issues for the first time. My way sucks and doesn't work. His way is full of blessings and contentment. Food is only a shadow in the light of God.

Jac--
The 4th step scared the jeebies out of me because I knew that meant the 5th wasn't far behind!! :-)
I survived the steps that I've taken so far, and am better for it. So, I have to trust that I will continue to benefit from the steps rather than regret having taken them.
Fear is such a roadblock. I am dealing with it on a daily basis. I didn't know before how much it stopped me from accomplishing what I wanted to.