[MtaTJac]

I'm reading Step two of "The Twelve Steps" right now... just trying to avoid a binge honestly. (I am going nuts here!! Absolutely, positively nuts!)

I'm to the point where I'm convincing myself that "just a small binge" would be ok and it's driving me nuts! Absolutely nuts.

I am having a bit of struggle with this step, quite honestly because I don't truly believe in God. And I struggle with that, because I want so badly to find faith. I have an emptiness inside of me that I have been trying to fill spiritually for years, and nothing seems to fit.

I know the book says your higher power can be in anything at all... but for me, it just makes me delve deeper into my spirituality.

Honestly, who knew that OA could lead to so many other questions? So many other emotions?

[marny]

Hey there,

Here are some questions from the workbook that you could spend some time writing about. It helps to re-read the chapter as you go.

1)Have I come to believe that I need to change? Why?
2)Since my willpower can't change my unsuccessful way of living, am I willing to look for a power greater than myself to restore me to sanity?
3)How do I define that higher power?
4)If I do not believe in a Higher Power, can I "act as if" I am getting help with my life? how?
5)What would I like such a power to be and to do in my life?
6) Do I believe in God but not really believe God can or will deal with my compulsive eating?

This sounds like a good night to call someone from your meeting. Did you get phone numbers? The idea is to call before you take that first compulsive bite.

Something else to think about: Why do you want to eat? In OA we call a HALT when we want to binge:
Are we Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired? If we are feeling any of these things, we can remind ourselves that eating won't help these feelings (other than real hunger). Then, we can take steps to help these feelings in some other way.