Why can’t I just eat normal!
 

Hello everyone!
I’m 22 years old, in the military and physically fit. I started really getting into fitness when I was 20 and loved it ever since. But I’ve struggled with eating and maintaining a positive mindset through the process of changing my body. However, i gave myself two days that I’m allowed to eat as much as I want for a meal. I usually order a small pizza and breadsticks and eat everything myself. My diet is super strict through the week but even if I’m not craving pizza I make myself want it and I will eat it and watch Netflix. Almost like a ritual that I don’t want to break. I’m not sure if this is even a issue or if a lot of people do this, but I binge eat once maybe twice a week for a meal. It helps me feel better and I just love to eat pizza. I feel ashamed sometimes because I eat so much but it’s like I can’t just have one or two pieces. I have to eat the whole thing or until the point where I literally cannot eat anymore. I have serious anxiety about eating and food because of fear of getting fat. I’m never happy with my body and always am trying to improve. Food has become my enemy. Any advice would be appreciated! Or thoughts/comments.

Eating to Escape
 

Maybe you're trying to escape something, that you choose not to deal with. The binging may help you cope with an underlying issue.

Yeah, I definitely agree with Kept on this one.

I remember binging because I was on a special diet and I kept focusing on what I was missing out on (high carbs, sugar, and chicken/processed meat) rather than the abundance of fruits, vegetables, and nuts that I had or what I could get.

When I was younger, my parents were pretty temperamental and would lose their cool over what I thought were trivial things. It made me pretty anxious growing up and constant stress leads to overeating.

So try exploring all aspect of your life. I find keeping a journal helps to uncover and resolve some of my deep-seated issues.

Best of luck

Part of it for me is an excuse to zone out on Netflix. I tell myself it's okay to sit down and binge watch shows if I'm eating because I need to sit to eat (which isn't true) and I might as well enjoy myself well doing that. And then of course I have to sit there for a second episode so I can digest my food. And the meal isn't complete without dessert. So it feels like I just keep sitting there craving food even though I'm not hungry. If I'm stressed, it's even worse. I haven't figured out how to overcome this yet, but I'm working on it! Starting Ideal Protein next week and going to amp up my exercising so I'm not always sitting around eating.