This is my first post, to any type of blog.
I currently a senior in high school. I play sports, I have friends, and I know where I am going to school next year. However, I can't help but feel sad sometimes. I am clearly the biggest girl in my friend group. While i love my friend to death, I can't talk to them about how i feel. Every other day I will hear "ugh I am so fat to day." I just scoff and turn my head. They don't know
that sometimes when I drive home I stop at wendy's, get a burger and fries, throw away the evidence, then go home and eat another dinner.
I have often tried to limit my eating. I will go a day where I have a three balanced meals, but then next day stop at the grocery store for a pint of ice cream and a bag of cheetos. We have vending machines at school, and I wont go if anyone else is around. But when i do go, I get like 6 or 7 things, and immediately hide them in my bag to eat in private. I can't stop myself.
I need to start somewhere. I dont know where but I know I need to.
Sometimes I will feel really motivated and be like okay, I can do this. Other times I truly feel like trying to start would be pointless. I have had points where I make myself sick I have eaten so much.
I will be going to college soon and I can't help but stress out that my out of control eating will completely balloon.