Glad to hear an update, you can do it girl. :hug:

Thanks so much. :)

I have so much respect for the author of this thread, and everyone else. You rock! I wish you all the best in your recovery. Isn't it wonderful that we aren't alone.

I am not in OA. But I feel such a kinship with these people. I enjoy listening to speakers on this website. [I am not allowed to put the link in] OA LAIG dot org.

Thank you. :) I haven't listened to the speakers on the website but I want to! I have so much hope that going to meetings and working the steps is going to help me.

You are awesome! That's great that you made the first step in getting to the meeting!

I'm in the same boat as you. Binger and purger (haven't purged in almost a year though). I have a 3 and 5 year old. My 5 year old had caught me many times purging. It's a horrible feeling.

This week has really been a struggle for me. I started off so optimistic and now I feel sad and like I let myself down. I know I should call someone from OA but it is hard for me to reach out to people that I don't really know. I have struggled a lot with binging and purging this week. I don't know why I keep doing this to myself. I started reading the 12 steps and traditions of OA and I am enjoying it. I also started journaling. I am looking forward to the meeting tomorrow and will be glad when I get a sponsor. I know though that even with a sponsor it is going to be up to me to put in the hard work.

BTW I was curious can I ask someone to be my sponsor after 2 or 3 weeks or should I wait longer than that? I already have someone in mind...

Also I know that this differs for everyone but I was just curious how long do the 12 steps generally take? I just wasn't sure if it was a few months, a year...I don't want to rush it or try and get through it too fast.

I noticed at the first meeting that the first 3 meetings you are a newcomer. After that are you just a regular member? Is becoming a sponsor something you choose to do or does everyone do it?

Nevermind! I got all my questions answered at my meeting today. Also I officially have a sponsor now! He is a really nice guy and seems so knowledgeable and has really taken time to talk to me and help me. I think having a sponsor will help me a great deal. He has been through this and knows what I need. He told me for this week to not worry about the steps or abstinence etc. He told me to go through the big book (AA) and change alcohol to food and that my only goal for the week should be to not purge and to not be hard on myself. He said that I don't need to worry about a timeline, that I need to take this slow and that he will guide me through the program. I have to say it feels good right now to just have someone guide me. I feel overwhelmed and like I don't know where to start. He told me to call him if I need any help or want to talk. :) The meeting today went really well. I cried (which is a good thing I only cry in front of people I feel connected to) and I just feel that every meeting I go to the more I will learn and grow and progress.

Yikes well I am still struggling. I made spagetti for dinner and although I didn't binge I did eat too much and whenever I had that too full feeling I feel like purging. I rememberd what my sponsor said though to not purge this week and so I kept true to that and didn't purge. I also put my plate down when I was feeling like I'd had too much and didn't finish the rest. I really need to eat slower, listen to my body and control portion sizes though. It is a battle but I am slowly but surely seeing a bit of progress.

Congrats on getting a sponsor and feeling your feelings as you were eating and thinking about doing the behaviors that did not work for you. Please keep us posted.

Thanks so much.

Just to let you know that I'm reading and following your story and holding your hand along the way, in a virtual sense !!

I think your sponsor was spot on the mark advising you to focus on not purging as your first goal.

Best wishes!

Thank you so much for the support.

So far so good. I have tried really hard this week and have not binged or purged at all and have kept myself busy reading the big book. I can't wait for my next meeting!

I just found this thread! I can't believe I never saw this section of the forums before. I was bulimic when younger, from the time I was about 15 until about 21. I was able to stop the purging part due to God but the binging continued for the next 20 some years. If you have never read a book by Judy Hollis called "Fat is a Family Affair" I highly recommend it. It is coming from the OA point of view and was the major help in my recovery which started in April of '08. I have overeaten but not binged. I was a big sneak eater and still fight the mental battle and probably will for years but it is a lot better than it was. I will be checking back to see how you are doing, it is good to find people who are dealing with the same issues I have been dealing with for a long while.

I def. will buy that book, thank you for recommending it! It is so nice to know I am not alone in this.

I am very much looking forward to my meeting this Sat! It has been tough but I have stuck to what my sponsor told me and I have not purged a single time this week!!! I have been very tempted but somehow I have held out. I keep reading OA literature and trying to keep a positive attitude. I still have tough moments and a long road ahead but I am actually seeing progress. :)

Liz, way to go. See one day at a time really works!

patd

It does. :)

Thank you.

You are doing GREAT!! One Day At A Time.

Reading the literature, doing your abstinence (yours is currently abstaining from purging, right?), journalling, reaching out to other OA members, service etc etc all fit together to contribute to our recovery. All of these things are tools of recovery, so keep reading the literature whenever you can.

Enjoy your meeting tomorrow. :)

^I didn't think of it that way but yes right now not purging is my abstinence. It is working too. It is scary but every day I tell myself that just for today I won't binge or purge and that if I do binge or get too full I am not going to purge no matter what. I have been so tempted and it has been really hard but I am proud that I have stuck with it!

Hi Liz,
just wanted to let you know that you're on the right track.
i went through a brief period of binge and purge.


even though i still binge ( which is something i've always done) i knew purging was only compounding the problem and making new problems, so i figured if i binged, too bad, no purge.

i would just have to digest what i ate, and hope to start anew the next day.

it's still a struggle, but one step at a time.
baby steps.
:dizzy:

^thank you for that. I am still learning and struggling. Tonight I made the mistake of baking a cake for my family and instead of just serving them and throwing the rest away which is what I should have done I saved it and then gave in to temptation and quickly ate a bunch and then purged. :( I have been trying not to beat myself up. I have done really well this week overall. It was a slip and I have thrown the rest of the cake away and have learned that I really cannot control myself around sweets and so they just can't be in the house. I always feel this compulsion to eat every last bite and sometimes I reason that I don't want to waste it because that is wasting money but there has been many a time that I have thrown away old produce which is more expensive without batting an eye.

Well on the bright side after my cake binge I did not binge again and threw the cake away. Just a few weeks ago I honestly would have kept binging and purging all day until the entire cake was gone. It might not sound like much but for me that in itself is a huge victory. It is a starting point at least!

My meeting yesterday went great. I really like my sponsor. He has me starting on step 1 this week which is exciting! Right now I kind of feel like I am going through the motions but I know as I keep going I will understand what this is all about. For right now I am faking it till I make it and doing what he tells me. It is really helping me to have some support and direction. Whenever I feel like eating or purging I pull out the big book and do some work and it really helps to motivate and distract me!

Good lesson on the cake! So happy to hear you are connecting with your sponsor and are using the tools you have been given so far. Keep posting. We are here for you.

You're still doing so well. How about doing something so you can see your recovery in a 'real' way? I'm thinking of something like, awarding yourself a gold star each day you don't purge. You'll see that the purging is becoming less and less - you've already made terrific progress :)

I think you'll enjoy working Step 1 .

That is a great idea! I think I will try that. :)

Liz, congratulations on that wonderful victory!! Your journey is so inspiring. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability. It's this wonderful sharing and support that makes this site so special.

Thank you so much. Sharing here has really been freeing and a learning experience. I am just so grateful that I found this site, otherwise I don't know if I would have faced up to my eating problems and gone to OA. I really needed a kick in the butt and admitting I had a problem and going to OA has been very humbling for me in a good way. :)

The Gold star idea is fantastic! I know in the early days I faced temptation multiple times a day and would have loved to have thought of that. In these early days of yours, a gold star every time you do something else instead of the binge/purge would be even better. I know a whole day is sometimes very long and each victory needs it own merit in my opinion.

I agree. A day can seem like a long time and it would be great to have something to reward myself with and show my progress!

i just wanted to let you know ive been follow your thread for a while now.. . i feel like you are definatly on the right track girl. . its admirable that your doing all of this.. your an inspiration. i cant quite get myself to a meeting yet. nor can i admit i have a problem to anyone other than myself. although, in time. im sure i will...

my point is that through your journey.. you never know the true impact you have on other people by laying it all out there, and i want to thank you for sharing. . BTW i love that gold star idea... it would be cool to put them on the inside cover of the 'big book' ( hee hee) so everytime you open it, you can see your progress and know it works. my mother did something similar to this when she was going through AA..

anyways. sorry for rambling on! keep up the GREAT work!

Thank you so much. It really makes me feel good to hear things like that. When I first came to this site reading posts in this section was the thing that helped me gain the courage to tell my story and start going to OA. I was really scared at first, it is a big step. Telling my family, everyone on this board, talking at OA meetings etc has really helped to open me up and has shown me that I have support and I am not in this alone and that makes a huge difference. Good luck to you btw.

Just wanted to let you know I am still keeping up with how you are doing and gaining my own momentum in the process! There is more to this Food Addiction thing than I ever thought there could be. Seems like everything I do that is weird or compulsive has its roots in Food. Finding new ways to deal with the Sh#t is hard, but So Worth It!

I agree and I am glad you are making progress!

Well along with starting the 12 steps I have decided on my abstinence (for now anyway). I am going to abstain from anything with sugar or flour in it. So I will do that for now and see how it goes. I really cannot control myself around anything sweet so I need to totally avoid it.

I also quit smoking 4 days ago and was going through some nasty withdrawls which I combated with lots of water, gum, carrots and reading OA literature. I want to start getting healthy in every way that I can. I am feeling great now though, the cravings and withdrawls are gone so hopefully I am in the clear! I am going to try and go to an OA meeting tomorrow. My sponsor suggested going to 2 meetings a week if I can.

OA is going really well for me. I love my sponsor, he is really great and so helpful! I just started on step 2 this week! :)

I am trying to go to 2 meetings a week. I would love to go to more but with 2 young kids and a husband that is going to school full time I just can't seem to manage more than two. I have bought a lot of OA literature though so between that and working the steps I have a lot to keep me busy between meetings. I am so glad I found OA, it really is changing my life for the better. The past few weeks I have only binged/purged 2 times which is a huge deal for me. I want to get that number to zero but I am proud of myself.

Good to hear things are going in a positive direction for you 2ndChance.

Thank you. :)