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Old 10-11-2008, 03:07 PM   #1  
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Default How I've spent the last 60 days without overeating/binging

I was asked by someone how I spent the last 60 days binge-free, and I realized that a lot of you out there might want to hear this too. I hope you find it's what I wrote to her:

You know, it's strange, I've been binging since I was a kid, hiding food and the like, things you've probably experienced. I always thought that it was something wrong with me, something that I couldn't get over without a large amount of treatment. But the thing that allowed me to overcome it was as simple as talking to someone who really understands the way people make relationships with food. I scheduled an appointment with a nutritionist shortly after I started dieting, and it turned out that she was also a counselor for people with our overeating issues. We spent a while talking about my relationship with food, and I came to realize that I was a combination stress eater and emotional eater (specifically, I tied the feelings from food to past family issues, and used food to recreate good feelings from my past). Now, this is different for everyone, and there's no way for me to tell you what your relationship with food is based on. Even a counselor can't do that, though she may be able to help you realize it yourself.

Anyway, after that we worked on finding ways for me to create a new relationship with food. These include sitting at a table, alone or with friends/family, where the food is the center of attention. No distractions. Something that also works for me is doing my best to look cute everyday. If you're feeling cute and clean, wearing make-up or whatever you do to feel that way, it's really hard to binge (because it feels unnaturally dirty in comparison). Don't get me wrong, I still wear my sweatpants from time to time when I'm relaxing or whatever...but don't let yourself feel "gross" or "ugly".

The diet I chose also helps an incredibly great deal. I eat whenever I feel hungry, and before I feel hungry often in the mornings (or if I need more calories before it gets too late at night). I also eat whatever I want, nothing is off limits... just this week I have had chinese food, hamburgers, ice cream, mixed drinks, and even chips. I love food, and I'm sure you do too. Forcing yourself to eat leaves all day or bland foods will never work!

What I do that is different from before (when I would binge), is to stop feeling bad about my love of food, and cut off hunger before it happens. Also, the more time you spend doing this, the easier it will be to tell the difference between hunger and craving, something that I never could tell before. I limited my number of calories, at first to around 1350-1550, but these days I found that its best for me to stay around the 1500s. Just looking at the calories of everything I eat or could eat (or had been eating) can really change the way you look at things. I started to learn to pick out things that were more filling for fewer calories, simply because I wanted to be able to eat more throughout the day. For example, I love french fries, but looking at the calories in them, I often make the decision to save those calories for something more satisfying. I'll decide to have a burger, and those 400+ calories I didn't eat from the french fries will let me have a piece of cheese pizza or a plate of spaghetti.

I find that these days, what I crave more than the feeling of binging is the feeling of taste itself and the feeling of fullness. I stretch out all my meals to the point where its almost annoying to everyone else (because they finish way before me). For example, I love chips and pretzels, and these days I find that it is wonderful to get the flavored ones, put a small piece in your mouth, and enjoy it as long as possible. I would have never believed it before, but now I am able to eat one serving size and enjoy it much, much more.

I know one of the big problems with over eaters is the fact that we usually feel guilty and feel like we need to overcompensate with a "perfect" diet. When we fail (often eating only one "wrong" thing), the day is over, and we might as well spend the day in pleasure land and binge, right? This is the biggest step you'll need to overcome. There are NO wrong foods. If you eat more calories than you intended, great! It boosts your metabolism, and you should be able to lose even more the next day. Look at the calories, what you really ate in terms of numbers. So you ate a piece of cake, who cares!! Chances are you haven't eaten 4,000 or even 3,000 calories for the day, but are actually 2,000 or less. This is just fine. DO NOT FEEL GUILTY or you will always treat yourself like sh*t and continue doing this to yourself.

I hope this is helpful. Really, my best advice is to talk to someone about why you have this relationship with food. Once you are able to figure it out, you can find something that works for you. I think since I went through the trouble of writing this all out, I'm going to post it on the forum, so other people might read and benefit from it too. Good Luck! If you have any more questions, feel free to ask.

To all of you who feel guilty for who you are and what you do...
the time will come when you can love yourself again, (and its sooner than you think!)
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Old 10-11-2008, 04:41 PM   #2  
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Thank you sooo much for your post. I read it twice because it was so full of wisdom. I am doing intuitive eating and a lot of what you said goes along with it. Good luck to you.

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Old 10-11-2008, 07:33 PM   #3  
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This was an awesome post! Thanks.
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Old 10-11-2008, 08:34 PM   #4  
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thank you.
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Old 10-11-2008, 11:57 PM   #5  
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I'm glad if it can help anyone at all. Feel free to send me comments or questions, because I know how hard it is.
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Old 10-13-2008, 11:45 AM   #6  
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Glad your finding something thats working for you!
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Old 10-13-2008, 12:24 PM   #7  
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Kelly thanks for sharing what works for you.

I'm curious do you attend OA along with the other things you are doing?

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Old 10-13-2008, 12:34 PM   #8  
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Thanks for sharing this. I find it very helpful. I beat myself up all day long because of my food choices.
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Old 10-19-2008, 12:50 PM   #9  
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Kelly, how is the weight loss going with that plan? I am trying the FA plan ss it really stops the cravings. I have managed to get in one great day yesterday without turning to sugar. As soo as I feed the sugar monster it just makes a tough day.
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Old 06-29-2009, 08:02 PM   #10  
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Default Help

I know this is an old thread..but hopefully you still can reply. I am new to the community, and this is my first I am not able to PM yet. When I was ready your threads i felt like it was me talking. "Restrictions" don't work for me. I noticed you said "the plan" that you chose...what "plan" are you using.....any and all adive would be greatly appreicated.

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Old 06-30-2009, 12:00 AM   #11  
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Thank you for posting this.
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Old 06-30-2009, 12:07 AM   #12  
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What a great post - am glad it was bumped up!
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Old 08-07-2009, 10:54 PM   #13  
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Great post. I really identified with the part about what happens we eat the 'wrong' foods. I really have to get rid of this all or nothing attitude.
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Old 08-07-2009, 11:19 PM   #14  
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Thumbs up

This is a GREAT post...thanks for sharing it!

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Old 08-10-2009, 05:40 AM   #15  
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That is so amazing, it seems that you are talking straight to me. I totally agree and support your advice about eating one thing and it's okay, just don't keep doing it. Unfortunately for me, eating one piece of cake turns out to be a huge piece and more if I can stomach it. I have learned that being strict about what I let myself have keeps me out of trouble most days. I have found substitues for bread, peanut butter, chocolate muffins, cream cheese, and some additional stuff to satisfy my cravings so I don't feel like I'm cheating myself.. We all know cheating the self by keeping certain foods away just does not work. Keep up the great work, you look great...hugs
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