Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-04-2007, 05:52 AM   #1  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
searsha's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Posts: 111

S/C/G: 166/166/130

Height: 5ft1inch

Default Can it be possible that OA is changing my relationship with food?

Hi everybody. I continue to get so much help from this forum, and am so grateful to all the members.
I’m 35 days abstinent again, thank God. I truly have the strong sense of being carried by the programme and the Higher Power, because I’m also caffeine free for 28 days and it’s having a big impact on my abstinence. This is just for me, because I have good friends in OA who can happily drink coffee with no ill effects. But coffee for me seems to feed my triggers. After the initial horrible withdrawal, about 10 days – savage headache, nausea, disorientation and feeling cold all the time - I came out the other end feeling that I was unclawing myself from something I did not even know I was hanging onto so tight. I feel free and clean and my cravings for sugar have diminished so much.
Today I’m struggling. I’m tired – did more exercise yesterday than I had done in a while and busy at work, school etc. I’ve an essay to write before lunchtime today. The nasty demon in my head keeps telling me to go get a large black coffee down the street for INSTANT alertness. But I won’t. And my HP is on call a lot so that I stay safe.
OA is a wonderful fellowship. The 12 steps give me so much hope. I’m only 35 days binge free, but this time something feels different. My food choices are so strongly based on health and energy and how I will feel after eating such-n-such a food. It seems I am simply not willing to pay the price for COE anymore. I am getting through difficult situations without turning to my old lifelong quick-fix. The fix that didn’t fix, but I was fixated on believing it did fix – essence of insanity for me.
I’m also deeply aware that I am not ‘doing’ this. I practise step 3 every morning, hand my day over to my Higher Power. Why do I do that? Because it has been proven to me, again and again and again, through every miserable overeating episode, that I cannot heal from this on my own.
But when I reach out, I stay abstinent. Last week I had a nasty winter cold, and that could have sent me flying to food (normal people don’t eat much when feeling poorly, I do the opposite). Anyway, I used the tools, wrote, called members, napped, moaned about how sorry for myself I felt, but I did not pick up the food.
My food is just so clean and simple right now, and that seems to be how I like it right now. I’m not complacent, food could start twinkling at me at any moment. But abstinence feels more natural, which is why I ask is OA changing my relationship with food.
Wishing you all well, one day at a time.
searsha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-04-2007, 11:21 AM   #2  
Senior Member
 
marny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: California
Posts: 771

S/C/G: 190/125/135

Height: 5'2"

Default

Crystal clear thinking-- you sound great.

I'm glad you're here. I needed to hear about someone's strong program today. I feel like I'm surrounded by folks who are struggling to keep their heads above water-- not a lot of solid abstinence at my meeting these days. Seems like I just keep saying the same "supportive" things over and over to them-- even I'm tired of hearing them.
marny is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2007, 02:02 PM   #3  
Senior Member
Thread Starter
 
searsha's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Dublin, Ireland
Posts: 111

S/C/G: 166/166/130

Height: 5ft1inch

Default You rock Marny

Thank you Marny for that kind message but also for continuing to inspire me on this often difficult journey.

It amazes me how this works – I’ve never met you, you live on the other side of the world, and yet when I am struggling and wondering if I can really recover from this disease, I think of your longterm abstinence and I am INSTANTLY reassured.

Long may you prosper in recovery. You have worked so very hard to stay well and you deserve every blessing of the universe.
searsha is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-06-2007, 11:09 PM   #4  
Senior Member
 
marny's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: California
Posts: 771

S/C/G: 190/125/135

Height: 5'2"

Default

Thanks Searsha-

You encourage me, confirm my understanding of program, and help my recovery. You are a blessing to me. That's awesome that my abstinence not only reassures me, but you too!
marny is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:23 AM.


We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites.
Copyright © 2024 MH Sub I, LLC dba Internet Brands. All rights reserved. Use of this site indicates your consent to the Terms of Use.