[searsha]

Hi everybody;

Been great to log on and read all the latest posts.
So grateful to share that I ‘survived’ short trip to coast and stayed abstinent!!
When I write those words, I really truly know that something very miraculous has come into my life via OA and all it offers, the tools, the journals, the literature, the f2f mtngs, the fellowship and all the richness that entails, the sponsorship, guidance, inspiration, this wonderful forum and my connection to you people, and last but not least, my deepening connection to my Higher Power.

I was able to come back from my trip, meet AA sponsee at train station ( here for short break and some step work), enjoy her company, admit to being tired, catch up on rest a bit, cook with her and remain abstinent.

Here’s how I USED to cope with trips. Ok so I eat too much on the trip itself – way too much – license to let go my diets etc. But ladies I did MOST of my damage in the immediate aftermath.
I’d be lonely for my daughters and the holiday feelings.
I’d go through the motions, not let feelings show, then I’d suddenly feel EXHAUSTED. I’d hit for the nearest fast food place, eat and eat and eat, then take heaps more bad food home and stay in bed all day!
24 hours later, I’d be facing the devastation of the damage I’d inflicted on myself. The food hangover first – both from the over-indulgent vacation eating and the stuffing of food afterwards. But just as upsetting would be the depressing cloud around me. The fog and the sense of failure and shame and confusion. Why was I doing this to myself?

Today it feels so different, even though I am not long into this beautiful new journey. I’m still scared of relapse, and that’s good, keeps me vigilant. But I don’t want to lose these precious feelings. My AA friends tell me they can see a new light in me, and I know I’m having a spiritual awakening – and I’m so grateful.