Today my aunt is taking me to lunch @ one o'clock. However I eat lunch around noonish. My dear aunt is very flaky so in actuality we probably won't be eating until 2 or 3!!! I forsee a problem here! It's so hard for me to stand up and say I have to have my needs met, it's very important and I'm sorry if this is an inconvienence to you!Truthfully I'm embarassed to be in OA. I think a lot of my shame comes from years of over eating. Can anyone relate?Advice needed and appreciated!

To get through this particular one day, I'd eat something small from my abstinent meal plan (say, the fruit part) around noonish like usual. That should hold you until you get your meal. This is not ideal--well, not on my abstinence, anyway--but sometimes concessions must be made.

In the future, you don't have to explain anything about it. You don't have to say you're in OA, you don't need to elaborate about your food plan, nothing. Everyone's in charge of taking care of their own body, and if your body is hungry, it needs to be fed. If your aunt wants to make plans in the future, you could say something like, "you know, a bit earlier in the day works better for me. Can we make it noon?" and just leave it at that. IT IS OKAY TO SPEAK UP FOR YOURSELF!

Hey Heather-

In the same situation, I would tell my aunt that we need to meet at 11:00. That way I would be able to eat by noon. My desire to meet at 11:00 is just as important as my aunt's desire to meet at 1:00.

I tell people straight up that I need to eat on time, or I will be very grouchy. Other people are much more flexible about what time they eat (most of them eat all day long).

Sidhe is right on! Speak up for yourself!!