Hi there.
There are a lot of opinions about what a sponsor is. Here's my opinion:
A sponsor is someone who is living in recovery, has worked the steps with a sponsor, is abstinent, and is willing to commit to helping you work the steps.
I call my sponsor every morning-- there's no better way to start the day. I share with her how my program is going, how my food is, my ups and downs, my challenges, my victories, and what I've learned.
She listens, she helps me to refocus on what program teaches us, she cheers me on, she relates her own experiences to whatever I'm going through, and she commits a few minutes each day to me.
When I sponsor someone I share my expectations about the relationship. I let them know what I expect from them and ask what they expect from me. I expect that my sponsees will call me everyday at an agreed upon time, attend at least one OA meeting a week, work the steps, and commit to being abstinent.-- That's me, that's not necessarily what any other sponsor would do.
Someone becomes a sponsor by completing at least the first 3 steps, sometimes the first 5, by being abstinent, by being willing to be of service, and by being in agreement with their own sponsor that they are ready to sponsor.
The quote about bringing your sharing to the meeting and your mess to your sponsor is sometimes valid, but not always. For instance, if a person goes on and on at every meeting about their "mess", and doesn't share the progress they're making in the steps or get the help of a sponsor, the rest of the group can become tired of the continual negativity and begin to feel "dumped on". A meeting isn't personal therapy time. On the other hand, life in program isn't perfect. Not all days are good. In recovery we face challenges, disappointments, set backs, and we struggle. Sharing those times is important-- it helps others in the group to know that they are not alone in their own struggles. Even better, when it turns around and we can share how we've grown from the experience and what we learned from a hard time, that is a tremendous share.
Hope that helps.
|
