[omnomgirl]

Today, I ate a handful of Doritos.

The key word there is a "handful". For years I struggled with night time binge eating. The problem was horrible in college because there was a snackbar right in my dorm that was open late at night with all the junk food I could eat! Freshman 35, anyone? Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos in particular were always a trigger food for me, often the start of nights I would eat more than 2000 calories in one sitting. And my parents always seemed to have them around.

I finally kicked my junk food binging by moving out on my own (with my bf) about 8 months ago. I vowed that I would just stop buying any kind of junk food - and it worked. I also started to give more thought into planning out nutritious meals for myself - cooking more from scratch instead of resorting to convenience foods like hot dogs or TV dinners (which we have now also cut out completely). Now, we eat healthy, homecooked meals with lots of veggies and chicken breast or fish, most days a week and only eat out max one meal on the weekends. Now my big goal to work on is portion control (I really like eating and stuffing myself until I feel really "full", even with relatively healthy food. That's why binging was always so appealing).

We were at Walmart a couple days ago when my bf saw the Spicy Sweet Chili Doritos and asked me if he could get them. I was hesitant, but I agreed. And this afternoon, I really felt a craving for them, so I opened the bag, took out a handful, put them on a small plate, but away the bag, and ate them. Yup, they were still delicious. Afterwards, I realized I was still hungry, so I ate an apple.

And that was it. I used to only be able to stop when the bag was empty. I feel really good about this NSV because it represents all the work I've done in the past 8 months to gradually change my eating habits, and the way I think about food. And because life is too short - I don't want go through it thinking I have to always avoid certain foods. I want to learn how to enjoy them in moderation.

[sunarie]

Way to go! I love finding little things to celebrate. I still can't even have chips I like in the house at the moment (candy has been okay, but chips seem to be a trigger), so I really respect you being able to limit yourself! Hope I get there someday.

[omnomgirl]

Yeah, me too, Sunarie. I've always found it easier to ignore my bf's stash of candy in the house, but chips have always been a weakness of mine. I think the sodium just makes you want to eat more and more. Also trail mix, for some weird reason.

They're still not something I'm going to keep around on a regular basis, but I was happy I was able to exercise self control yesterday and hopefully will continue to in future!