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-   -   From Apathy to Happy. Emotion/various NSVs. (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/mini-goals/217059-apathy-happy-emotion-various-nsvs.html)

zanheltangia 11-10-2010 10:28 AM

From Apathy to Happy. Emotion/various NSVs.
Well, oddly enough, I've had a "Emotion Victory" this morning.:D This is going to be a long post as I wanted somewhere to reveal this change. I didn't want to keep this one to myself ;).

This past month and some odd weeks around it has been hard on my lifestyle change due to my giving in to eatting high calorie, low nutrition foods and candy just 'cause I could and "wanted" it.
The overall apathy was leading to a bit of back tracking and the old habits that got me to 260 pounds, and also the return of negative emotions I thought I had settled. This was and is a big problem for me.

I don't know what exactly switched it around, probably a combo of things.

First, getting work clothes and a new jacket that fit but was still tight helped quite a bit to get rid of the unhappy feeling that my two/three sizes too big clothing had been giving me lately. I posted about the baggy monster on the 20s something section and had a few people agree with the annoying problem of ill-fitting clothes. At my high weight I wore baggy clothes because they were comfortable. They also let me keep gaining weight without having to buy clothes that often, it let me avoid that too tight feeling that gaining more weight would have given me quicker if I had worn what I should have at that size every time I picked up new pants/t-shirts. I think that wearing too loose pants and shirts now as I was working on losing weight was bringing that back into my mind, returning the "eat whatever, whenever" habit that led to my obesity.

So new size 14 jeans and size XL tailored polo shirts, then ditching the size 16/18 jeans and 2X work shirts to a donation drop off over the weekend, and actually getting measured for two bras (I have worn only sport bras for YEARS) and then wearing them, led to some extra glances in a full length mirror and the neutral feelings began to get a more positive "hm" twist to them last week. Getting my weightloss acknowledged by distant coworkers who hadn't seen me since I was at my highest was awkward but a good feeling during training that week.

So, my thoughts switched to my hair over the weekend, and I mentioned wanting a unusual hair cut when I hit goal weight on the 20s something monthly WW thread. Positive responses to the images and further thought sent me to get an inbetween hair cut last night. I had the lady get rid of my old layers. To do this, I had her chopping off a good three to five inches of my hair, it was also a good change, the hair style switch from long (probably stringly/sloppy looking) layers to a clean, straight and plain, medium cut, very odd after having my hair layered for years, but refreshing. I told her that it will be a couple months before I come back for the real cut, and she sounded interested it doing it for me (of course, ;)). It's a step toward where I want to be, and that somewhat positive "hm" emotion was morphing into real smiles and silly grins.

Instead of the "maybe", "someday", "might", that I started this journey with, I now have more "when", "will", and "want" on that list. I am starting to get a better picture of me continuing and maintaining this lifestyle change. The added energy and physical changes that I've noticed since losing nearly 60 pounds is helping.

More and more, I see this healthy and grining me in my mind when I think of the future. Instead of "that won't look right", "what would ___ think?", or "I can't do that!" when I think of things I want to wear/do/see, I am getting, "why the heck not?", "What's stopping me really?":devil:, "I gotta do this!"

I took a headshot photo of myself at work this morning. One quick camera phone shot. And the urge to take a few and get the best image didn't come. I am happier with my body and my mental self than I can remember being for quite some time, years really. I am back On Plan, since yesterday. I am back and getting back on track with this lifestyle change, and it is ABOUT TIME! :D :carrot: Life waits for no one, so I better get off my butt and do this, I'm going to live as I want to, I think I am more than ready.

kateleestar 11-10-2010 10:41 AM

That is awesome. Completely and truely awesome! I'm proud of you!!!!! :D

zanheltangia 11-10-2010 10:56 AM

Thank you, Kat! It's "ah-ha!" moments like this, and wonderful people like you here on 3FC that keep me going, that keep me positive.:D

cherylmn 11-10-2010 02:32 PM

This transformation is so much more than losing weight, isn't it? It is about reclaiming yourself! About finding your own self-worth. You are WORTH new, well-fitting clothes. You are WORTH a beautiful, sassy new haircut. You are WORTH all of it and more.

Go get 'em, sister. And post a few pictures of the new "do" when you have a chance so we can ooooooh and aaaaaaahhh over you :D.


Onederchic 11-10-2010 03:15 PM

Very awesome indeed!

zanheltangia 11-10-2010 04:49 PM

Cher, :o, you are so sweet. :D

Well... Hair cut and progress pics all in one:


losinlish 11-11-2010 11:37 AM

I completely relate to your post for a couple reasons. The first is we're roughly the same height and weight right now! I am so imrpessed at your nearly 60lb loss - you look amazing. Just yesterday I bought myself some new jeans. I realized I had been wearing the same clothes over and over again, and really needed a bit of a boost - it is amazing what good fitting clothes can do for the esteem.
I also give in to the apathetic mindset when it comes to eating. I get in a rut and feel as if I am never going to regain control, so what the heck, just eat what I want. Sometimes it takes some good fitting clothing and a haircut to get us motivated to continue in the right direction!
Thanks for you post, and for helping me realize that it can be done! You look absolutely amazing, and should be so proud of your accomplishments thus far. Keep up the great work! ;)

Paloma 11-11-2010 02:35 PM

I know nothing makes me feel better about myself than a new haircut! It makes me feel like a totally different person, even if I don't do any drastic changes. I haven't been for a cut in three months, and my bangs aren't looking very much like bangs right now. I've been letting it go, figuring the longer I wait the more money I'm saving, but you have just inspired me to schedule an appointment.

Congrats on your loss so far, you look great!

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