A couple days ago I was browsing at the library and picked up The Beck Diet Solution, simply because I had seen the forum here and was curious. I thought it was a diet, but it turns out it's a behavioral therapy book that you can use with any diet you choose.

The funny thing is, we've been talking a lot about attitude lately in the August thread, and I just picked up the book today and started reading it, and it's all about your attitude and dieting. I'm only a few chapters in, but I'm honestly very impressed.

The basics are that it has you anticipate your self-sabotaging thoughts and come up with responses to those and ways for you to modify your behavior so you'll be successful in following your diet. It focuses a lot on your attitude and your thoughts about your diet.

I'm not a very touchy-feely psychological type, but I'm totally going to give this a try. The book outlines it as a six week process, where you add in a new skill each day. The idea is for you to use it as you lose weight, and by the time you're ready to maintain, a lot of it is ingrained.

Anyhow, there's another forum on this, but if I hadn't started reading the book, I wouldn't have gained much from it. All that to say, if you're struggling with your attitude or with cheating, I'd definitely recommend checking it out, and if you get it from the library, you won't have even invested anything if it's not for you.

One of my biggest fears is that I'll lose all this weight and then gain it back. I gained a large part back during my pregnancy, but I'd be lying to myself if I didn't admit that I probably would have gained most back even without the pregnancy. I gained twice what I should have gained while pregnant, and it was because I went back to eating how I used to.

I'm also struggling a bit with cheating (I did last time as well and was still successful, but not as successful as I could have been, especially toward the end), and from what I've read/implemented so far, I really think this approach might help. Some of you might have heard of this already, but I just wanted to share in case anyone else could benefit from it as well.

I'm going to check this book out. I wonder if it's similar to 100 Days of Weight Loss, The Secret to Being Successful on Any Diet Plan, By Linda Spangle. It's approach seems to be very similar. I bought that and Life is Hard Food is Easy also by Linda Spangle. I'm just starting to use these books and I'd like to add the one you're talking about as well. Sounds very helpful. Thank You for the suggestion.

Thank you for sharing about this book..I am going to get this book!
Tami

We sound a lot alike - I bought the Linda Spangle books and downloaded the free workbook on her website for the 100 day challenge. I got half way through Life is Hard... and then life did get hard - with my mom moving in and all that jazz. So it was really helpful, I just need to finish it. And get back into doing the 100 day challenge.

Oh - last week during one of the classes "Beck" was mentioned... I'm assuming now, this is it, since Veronica was talking about Emotions.

I'll have to check out the other books. I had heard of the Food is Easy, Life is Hard book-- I think I might have heard about it at my center. Anyhow, I am excited to try something dealing with the mental side of things because I've never taken that approach before. It can only help, really.

Some of those posts in the August thread were in response to something that I'd written about allowing myself one full-fledged cheat a month. By the time I hit my two month mark in just a few days, I'm very optimistic that I'll have already lost 20 pounds, which I think is truly awesome. I'm not sure why my post came across as having a less than positive attitude, because that is not how I feel and not how I typed it. What I consider being honest and realistic with myself, others apparently see as a bad attitude toward the program when that's not the case at all. I have nothing but praise for the program.. obviously it's working for me!

I have been very open about my monthly cheats with my consultants and haven't been scolded or reprimanded for my attitude - I've just been told that as long as I'm losing, then it seems to be working for me. When I stop losing, then I'll rethink those planned cheats. And again -- it's ONE planned cheat a month. ONE MEAL in 30 days.

Anyway.. I know you didn't attack me or anything like that, this just seemed like a good place to share my thoughts about my perceived attitude.

ginpea-- I actually wasn't referring to you at all, and I certainly didn't mean for you to feel attacked in any way. I didn't even know you had posted that.

What prompted the attitude discussion (or at least for me) was when Tami posted about how when she doesn't allow herself a cheat here and there, she develops the attitude of a victim. Momoffour then posted something about how a positive attitude and focusing on what she can eat helps her, etc. I'm paraphrasing, of course. Anyhow, a few of us started talking about attitude, etc., and it just happened to coincide with the book I picked up, and since I thought it could help others, too, I decided to share.

I, too, believe it's fine to tailor the program to make it work for YOU. If the built in cheats work for you, then go for it, and without the guilt! I've posted several times about my thoughts on that. I'm not one who does MRC perfectly. I try to stick to it most of the time, but sometimes I just don't, and I think that's fine-- it slows me down some, but it makes MRC livable for me. Personally, it's much better for me to cheat when I make a conscious and well thought out decision to do so. The problems compound if I'm just cheating on a whim or continue with unplanned cheating.

Anyhow, in no way did I mean to imply that cheating means you have a bad attitude. I'm sorry if it came across that way, and I'm sorry if you were offended or felt it was directed at you. I don't feel like anyone has a bad attitude on here (either about the diet or in general)-- frankly, this is the most polite, friendliest, and most supportive group of online people I've ever been a part of-- no snark to be found here, and I love that it's like that!

As for Tami's post about cheating, etc. that prompted (or at least it's what I thought prompted) the attitude discussion-- I don't think she has a bad attitude, either. She's finding a way that works for HER, and she's staying positive about her plans. She made the comment about attitude herself, and while some people critiqued her weekly cheat plan, she handled all the comments with a lot of grace. It is, afterall each individual's choice how she decides to lose weight. MRC is not the only option, and even if a person chooses MRC, it can be tweaked a bit to make it more livable, and it will still work. I know that from past experience.

Again, sorry for any hurt feelings this caused. I was just trying to share something that is really helping my own attitude toward MRC and dieting in general.

Oh-- and I just reread my original post. The cheating I was referring to that the book can help with is not planned cheating. The book talks about temptations-- you know, the unplanned food like doughnuts at work or a friend who offers you a chocolate chip cookie-- and how you can train yourself to not give in.

If I only cheated at planned times (and I do plan cheats for special occasions), then I wouldn't really have much of a problem. However, sometimes I'm guilty of snagging a bite of my husband's food or if I'm at a party taking a bite here or there that can add up to more than I think it does. I struggle more with that. If you don't, ginpea, then you are in much better shape than I am. I can definitely use some of the techniques the book teaches to avoid unplanned cheating, though, so that was what I meant about how it can help with cheating. I don't really consider planned cheats as cheats-- if they're planned once a month, then that's just part of your personal program.

Last post, I promise! After skimming the last few pages of the August thread, I realized that it was momoffour who mentioned the attitude of a victim, but Tami said her cheats turned her attitude around-- sorry to mis-paraphrase you both. Either way, I had read Tami's and MomofFour's posts, but this post wasn't directed at any particular person. Believe me, I have way too much work to do on myself before I would have the energy to attempt to "fix" others' problems.

Oh ladies...I am laughing right now at the posts!!! Trying to clear everyone up, when we all have nothing but good intentions

I am reading that book..."Life is Hard, Food is Easy." I want to share an insight from it real quick that pertains to our discussions about attitude.

It says that when you give yourself permission to eat something, you put yourself in charge of the food instead of letting the food control you. Use the guidelines of "smaller amounts less often." Incorporate your favorite foods into your diet...by knowing you can have them again, you will be able to wait for thye designated time and then eat them in reasonable amounts!

This speaks volumes to where I was coming from...even the once a month "cheat" plan. To me, this is ok to have. It is when we feel deprived that we can become resentful of the program. It is an "Adam and Eve" thing really...we all want that "forbidden fruit!" Unfortunately, the fruit is often times OFF program :0 So, giving yourself occasional permission to indulge could lead to more success in the long run.

Just wanted to share further where I am coming from....and it is very individual. This mentality works for me is all~ It is even better if I lose weight in the process!!!

I'm trying hard to not cheat but it gets hard. I told my husband last night that this year for my birthday (not until DEC) I will be eating whatever I want on OP or not. IT'S MY PARTY I WILL EAT WHAT I WANT TO EAT WHAT I WANT TO. hehe His first response...Good for you, you deserve it!!

One thing I think is if we start struggle and deprive ourselves that one little taste then it might sabotage all the great work we've done so far. That taste every now and then (if you need it) will probably make people continue rather than stop. If it works for you have at it, if you know that you take one bite and you will not stop then don't do it. This program is per person and I think that is what makes it work so well. Just my 2 cents.

Tara! You did not offend me! Honest. The main reason I posted what I did over here instead of in the August thread is because I knew your title would attract those readers. I truly did not take your post as an attack and I don't even feel offended, I just wanted to state where I'm coming from and let everyone know that I don't have a bad attitude about the program. I'm just doing what works for me.

Tami: You said, "It is when we feel deprived that we can become resentful of the program." EXACTLY!! If I didn't allow myself my monthly cheat, I would start to resent it and that would make it so much harder to stick to.

You know, I don't officially plan a monthly cheat, but that has been how it has worked out for me this time around so far. In the beginning of August, after I'd been OP for about a month, I went on a weekend trip for our 5th wedding anniversary, and I planned to cheat then. This weekend I'm meeting my best friend (she lives several states away) for a girls weekend, and we plan to eat dinner at the Cheesecake Factory.

For at least a couple weeks prior to those events I've really buckled down hard and stayed very strictly OP because I knew I was going to go off, had to "make up for it" etc. Also, when I'm tempted to eat something off, I always tell myself, it's just another two weeks, week, whatever until I get to do X. I really think it has helped me.

Now, the weekend trip absolutely did NOT help me. It set me way back, but I ate off for three days. This time, I'm planning for just one dinner, and I'm really studying the menu so I don't overdo it. The rest of the weekend I plan to do metaquick. My friend is dieting, too (not MRC-- she doesn't have a center and tried it from my menus, but it wasn't for her), so we'll just grab lunch somewhere for her. I think I'll do better if I don't have food or a menu to order from-- metaquick is pretty black and white, and it should get me right back on track the day after.

My "events" seem to be spaced about a month apart. In early October I have a potluck to go to, so maybe I'll make that my cheat meal for the month. The nice thing about a monthly cheat is that it doesn't really derail you too much as long as you get right back on. When I did MRC before, at the end I started to go out with friends weekly and go off-- now that really did slow me way down. My husband was in Iraq at the time, so I really needed the social time, but it was definitely not the best way to do MRC.