So yesterday I went off plan by eating an entire can of seasoned black beans, a container of red pepper seasoned hummus, and a can of cream corn. (ok so I eat weird off plan foods lol) Today is weigh in day and I am up 7 pounds!!! I'm so embarrassed to go in but I won't have time any other day this week.

Just do it. Whenever I mess up I tell myself that I have to own it. I think that avoiding the scale is slipping down towards denial and that's what got me into the mess in the first place. You've done so well, and one bad weigh in isn't going to define you.

I would worry less about the 7lbs and more about "why" you needed to eat those things. This is a journey, and your center can help you find your way! Water weight is water weight. Everyone knows you can't actually gain 7lbs in a week. The excess carbs and sodium just caused you to retain. But again, why? It's reaaaalllly important to find that out- take it from me.

it really is a problem for me. I am addicted to the feeling of being full (what most people would probably think is uncomfortably full) and sometimes I just have this compulsion to stuff myself (even if it is just with veggies). Don't know why. Maybe I feel like I'm empty in some nonliteral way but I don't know how to change that. and I really hate therapy lol

That you stood on your own scale to see the numbers is encouraging. There are times when I won't check, already knowing I won't like what I see. But what is is, whether you look or not. I'd say go ahead and take the hit. Screw up your courage and go to your weigh-in. Next week you'll be back on plan and show the true weight. Beans, corn and hummus? All decent food in their own right. But better to always have some light-weight, hurry up and fill the void food available. Right now, for me, it's cabbage soup.

aw, so sorry! This is my point, and it is absolutely essential to long term health and weight loss/maintenance. We all have our reasons. The weight loss journey is about losing the pounds, yes, but it is more about finding our "why". "Why do I treat myself this way?" "Why don't I think I deserve more?" "Why do I eat till I'm stuffed?" Unless these answers are found, it's a bigger struggle than most of us can bear. I hated therapy, too, but guess why? It's because I didn't want to deal with the stuff that was oozing under the surface like an infected wound.

Here is a link to a forum I ran across that may help you:
http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/chicks-control-64/

Here's a quote from an article I read a while ago:
In unhealthy overeating, also referred to as compulsive overeating, food addiction, binging, and comfort eating, there is a preoccupation with food and an expectation of gratification from eating....Compulsive Overeating or binge eating disorders occur when eating is used as a coping tool to feel safe and somewhat in control in an unmanageable world; to provide a sense of purpose in life.

I used to laugh when I would hear people compare anorexia to my compulsion to overeat, as they seem on the surface like such different issues. But they both boil down to two simple issues: how we deal with emotion, and how we deal with power/control/powerlessness.

I eat when I feel sad/bored/angry, because then I don't have to think about or deal with those feelings--I can think about eating! I also have discovered--unfortunately, through some traumatic experiences--that I sometimes use (usually poor) food choices to feel power/control over something in my life.

I never in my life thought that a compulsive overeater like myself could ever become anorexic--I used to joke that I didn't have the "willpower" to be anorexic. But during a summer of traumatic family/personal issues right after I got out of college (parents' messy divorce, my live-in boyfriend of 3 years cheating on me, etc.), I stopped eating. Not completely. But I very strictly regulated what went in my mouth, and created weird, arbitrary rules as to what I would/wouldn't "allow" myself to eat. I also began exercising 2-3 hours a day. I lost a lot of weight, rapidly, but not healthily. It wasn't until a friend (who had graduated in psych and social work, ha ha) pulled me aside at the end of the summer and told me that what I was using food to feel in control, but that this behavior would end up spinning my health out of my control that I realized why I was restricting my food intake.

I learned how to eat healthy, and did so for about 5 years. Unfortunately, old habits die hard, and now I'm battling with the other end of the spectrum again. But the issues are still the same. For example, I binge on cookies because--even if it's a poor choice--it's a choice I make, and I have the power to do it even when I have power over nothing else in my life.

So, the point of this whole, long story is to tell you that the issue is emotional, or due to a feeling of needing control over something. You need to examine your behavior and your life and figure out what is leading you to overeat, and why. And then work on fixing that.

@teacherlady - wow, thank you for being so honest and sharing your experience!! Way to put yourself out there to help others, it is appreciated!

@katkitten - I totally understand! I used to do this with green curry with chicken from a local thai restaurant. I would order it Thai Hot which would burn my throat but I would do it everyday. Scarfing it down as fast as I could, knowing darn well that it would burn and affect me for the rest of the day (hurt throat, hurt on the other end too, lol) and then I would feel soooo full and make myself sick. It was a rollercoaster that I was on and when I say that I am addicted to "green thai currie" I get some interesting looks....of all things to be addicted to, right? I have learned a lot about myself through this program and I still crave green thai currie but I want it for the taste (and not as hot). It's a comfort to feel that way...it was like the only "proven" thing that I could control (I usually felt like crap anyway so might as well feel like crap b/c I caused it). There are so many mental aspects to all of this...the center helped me a lot (connections class on emotions, self worth and boundaries). The biggest thing is finding out what you can do to replace that "feeling" or need to do it...I found that cleaning my house (of all the weird things) helped me feel in "control" of mysef, haha. Who knew!? Best of luck - let us know what happens and remember that just a few days from now, you will be back on top! You can do this - you know you can - hang in there!!

Me, too! I usually hate cleaning, but recently I've found that it relaxes me and makes me feel better when I'm agitated or feel like I don't have any say in something.

I completely understand what you mean by "addicted to the feeling of feeling full". I've lost 110 pounds on Metabolic, and I still have my off plan days. Like, the other day I was really weirdly sick, and my mom's on this "you don't eat enough" kick, so I ate some potatoes. With salt. Which is really off plan for me, and I gained a few pounds, oh and I also drank like, no water. And now I'm dreading going in. I completely understand what you mean But I guess I'll just make it in Thursday and own up to it! Good luck

I've lost 55 pounds on MRC, and I've not once made any of the connections classes at the center. I got sober nearly 15 years ago (going to AA) and figured I had already handled all the emotional baggage. Snap! Perhaps not, or I wouldn't be spending a small fortune at MRC! I'm so glad you brought all this up, Teacherlady. I get into weird little head-trips with food, and then later I wonder who I'm kidding. Keep this coming, people. I definitely need to examine my motives and do the "headwork" if I ever hope to continue and then maintain my loss.

Since we are on the topic....today I started my morning well. I drank two of those portable vanilla meal replacement shakes (which taste really good surprisingly) thinking I would make it a metaquick day. At lunch I became bored before going to work, so I went to a chinese buffet and filled my container as much as I could. I came home and ate the whole thing and felt so stuffed This isn't the first time I've done this. I don't even know why I did it. I knew I'd feel miserable afterwards. I had a perfect dinner though back OP so I hope tomorrow is a better day. My husband is home with me tomorrow so I won't do it again... I don't behave this way when he's around. I always do this in secret. I feel a little ashamed I'm even writing this. So long story short, I skipped my weigh in cause I just couldn't explain this to them.

Dit....find something else you can immediately do instead when you feel this way. I write a blog...so when I feel like going off the handle...I start writing. It always diverts my mind away. Whether is a book in your purse, going for a drive....find something else to fill the void, so you don't get "bored" and eat.

^^
THIS! I usually only go off-plan like this when I'm alone, too. I don't know if it's because I'm eating out of spite (a mini-rebellion, so to speak), or what. And I certainly don't know how I justify doing it when I'm alone, but not when others are around. But THIS is my biggest challenge.

I don't necessarily eat BECAUSE I'm bored, I think, because I certainly know other gratifying ways to entertain myself. I think when I'm bored, though, I start to THINK about foods, then get slightly obsessed with the idea of some food, until I finally break down and eat it.

Razorbackbritt is right--find something else to do to distract yourself when you start to get bored or find yourself obsessing about a food or snack. Sometimes, for me, it's something like getting on this message board, or cleaning the house, or calling a friend to vent or chat. If I'm at work and obsessing about the vending machine or something, I'll go visit with the office secretary (we've gotten to know each other pretty well now that I rely on her as a distraction, lol) for a few minutes, or take a brisk walk.

Please don't feel alone. This is a possibility for probably almost all of us. That is why we recognized that there is a problem and decided we needed to take charge. Forgive yourself, distract yourself, don't let guilt move you backwards and have a perfect day on program. One day leads to another perfect day and so on. I do the worst things to myself when I am alone too, especially over the past two weeks, so let's work through this weirdness. If you are like me, you recognized, at some point, that you knew when you did this, that it left you feeling YUKKY physically and disappointed in yourself completely. I don't want to feel those things today so I plan to work to make sure it doesn't happen. When I don't let those things happen, I feel so much more positive about everything around me -- circumstances, people, work -- everything! I know it is so worth it to encounter life feeling that way, so I will get it right today. For the past two days I have just sat down alone and ate until I was stuffed -- whatever I could find. I have come too far to let this happen. Please join me -- Today will be a PERFECT DAY ON PLAN day. One day at a time, just one day at a time, that is all it takes! ALL THE BEST!