Sabatoging
 

Does anyone else have a spouse who is trying to sabatoge their weight loss efforts? I have been OP for a little under two weeks. Every night my husband is munching on doritos or popcorn in bed while we're watching tv. I've talked to him about his behavior but he acts ignorant and claims to not understand why it would bother me. On the way to church Sunday he ordered a breakfast meal and is shoving the sandwich in my face asking if I want a bite. When I replied "No", his response was "Why not?" Anyone else experience this or have any advice? :?:

It's hard to know why he's doing what he's doing, but it sounds like it reeks of insecurity. I don't mean to sound harsh, but that's what it sounds like. However, you can only know what's going on in his mind if you ask him. Then you will know how to deal with his issues. You have to be prepared that he may give a response you don't like. At least after discussing the issue with him or if he avoids it you will finally know where he stands and what you are dealing with.

I had family member that was doing the same thing. Now, my situation is a little different because I am not in such close proximity to my "feeder." I made sure my feeder read the pamphlet so they could see what they were doing and how they affect this life change.

When I signed up for the program, I sat my family down and friends and explained what I was trying to do. I showed them the menu and what type of foods I could eat, what this whole experience is about, what's required of me etc. I especially showed them the reciepts for how much I am spending and why it's important that I not fail. I emphaised that I wanted to lose weight so I could stop taking meds for high blood pressure, stop pricking my finger to test my sugar levels etc. I stayed away from the obvious reasons like wanting to look good. I thought they would all fall on board if I didn't mention it (it's a secret I keep to myself and well everyone who is reading this. ha ha.)

So far it's working too. When I feel weak and want to go OP, they are keeping me on it and reminding me why I don't want to cheat. (Which is a blessing at times, others not so much.) : P

Also I try not to put myself in situations where I would want to cheat. We have a family breakfast ever Sat morning. I don't go anymore (1st I started this was last week.) It would now be a waste of money for me to go since my food is restricted in the mornings. I wanted to spend time with them, so I told them I would prefer dinner since I have a bit more I could eat.

Bottom line you have to discuss his animosity towards your soon to be weight loss. As for reasons to give him why you want to lose weight, if he is a jealous individual I wouldn't even mention that you want to look good. Instead play up what health issues you may have and that you want to be healthy for you. I would also play up the fact that you want to be healthy so the two of you can have a longer, better quality of life together. Ask him--don't you want that too? The day is not promised to any of us.

Regardless, I hope you stick to your guns about this healthy lifestyle. This is about YOU and improving YOUR quality of life. Side bar--this is TOO much money being spent on this program to just half step and be wishy washy.

Best of luck.

Secretgrl77 - I think Harlow Grey is right there is a lot of insecurity associated with weight loss. My fiance should be more healthy and he knows it. I think he's insecure about his looks and when I changed my habits I was a mirror showing him everything he wasn't doing.

My fiance would ask me if I wanted something from McDonalds when he went to get food. I would say "it's not on my plan but thanks". He would say "your plan sucks". I don't think he realized that when he said it sucked that it was hurting me. I sat him down and explained to him that what he said hurt my feelings and that I'm not asking him to eat what I eat unless he want to. I think he felt that I was trying to change him too.

We went over to a friend's house and she was telling us about her cousin who's getting a divorce. Her cousin's husband lost a lot of weight and had an affair. That story made my fiance uncomfortable. I reassured him that I was skinny when we met and that I will still be the same person he loves when I'm skinny again.

I try to put myself in his shoes- if he was eating right, exercising and losing weight I would be happy but also hurt, feel left behind, and a little confused. FH has been eating the things that I cook which definitely helps. He's been exercising and I've made sure to compliment him on his weight loss. He's becoming more comfortable with the program and has been thanking me for getting him on the bike more often.

One more thing- sorry for long random post- FH bought a box of doughnuts. I didn't say anything when he put them in the cart but when we got home I asked him to take them to his man cave. He laughed but did it anyways. I forgot they were in the house- no doughnut disaster. Can your husband keep his treats in another room?

My last time around on MRC, my hubby was on plan with me in the beginning so we set habits together. He didn't stick it out, but by the time he was eating off plan, i had my routines set and so his off plan food didn't bug me at all. Once I'd lost 25lbs or so, I was ready to eat whatever they told me as long as the weight kept falling off.

This time, I've got a kid...he doesn't eat on plan for sure...and neither does hubby...though he eats better. I still make them pasta or rice or whatever to eat with whatever protein i make for the night. They eat that, I eat my veggies. Hubby snacks on all kinds of things and as I lose more weight it gets easier to ignore those foods.

My advice is to stick it out. Once you really see results that you yourself are impressed with, it'll be easier to turn down foods you shouldn't eat on plan. I do try to avoid bringing my "trigger foods" into the house as well. I LOVE french fries and sweets, so I don't buy them, not at all, even for hubby. If he wants them, he buys them and I don't wanna see them. Good luck. :)

It seems that every family gathering revolves around food. People will say to me "you can eat THIS bread it won't hurt you" and sometimes their comments do tend to make me feel like it is ok to eat this or that "just once". I will say that being on this diet is one of the hardest things I have done, but "no pain, no gain" (or is it loss).

Thank you all for your responses - I really appreciate it.