A powerful post.

Very good insight, on your behalf. I never even considered that part of the male psyche....You are a psych major,yes???

I think it depends on what you have had on your plate to eat...I would Not say that is the case for ALL women or ALL men. I think trauma has much to do with a lot when it comes to some women resorting to utter rebellion and feeling the need to create a protective outer shell due to past hang ups and trauma.

But, even a brain injurty may lead to not being able to lose weight. I don't think that all overweight women remain this way out of choice. I know for myself that it takes a lot more energy to reduce in weight than to regain.

Put that together with something like trauma and or depression and very slow metabolism and that too affected by a messed up sleep pattern and that affected by trauma and or depression and You have a Full Blown Case of Obesity and Non Compliance in Losing weight........................


Sincerely,
1Bluerose68

This is a really interesting thread. A lot of different points of view and insight.

Thanks for posting.

Diamondgeog, i think it just depends upon the woman and her life experience! Some may not have had a traumatic past that equates with unwanted male attention so they don't have problems with this.

Others, like me, who have been sexually abused by both my step fathers, preyed upon by older men when i was a teen, along with the usual experiences that women have with men (sexual advances, etc.) they do see the world differently when it comes to their body. Being female certainly does not equate "victimhood" but it is very different than being a man in every way, including the way society portrays a womans body, ie sexualises it for the most part. Thus you have your answer.

For me, it's a doubled - edged sword. Because of my past i secretly covet a mans admiration but not his sexual advances. And USUALLY, the less overweight a woman is, the more she will experience these things from men. Luckily i have a wonderful husband that was the kind that didn't berate me when i was 100 lbs overweight but constantly praises me now that i am slim and oddly enough i have to deal with "squirmy" feelings arising in me now that he does that and i hate it. I'm not using my past as an excuse but it has certainly left its mark on my soul.

So i think basically maybe your answer lies within the background of the woman and her life experiences.

I think this is very true. However, I think the reverse is also true. In general, women might be less visually/sexually focused than men, but I think most women still pay attention to looks (or money, the guy's job, etc., whatever happens to be important to the woman). Very few people are truly unselfish.

My husband isn't at all verbally abusive, and he even makes an effort not to offend or hurt feelings, etc., but I still know that he prefers me thinner. I can tell simply by the way he looks at me.

I haven't had any major trauma in my life, and I live in a more conservative town in the Midwest, and my friends/acquaintances are mostly people I know from church. However, I've still experienced cat calls, comments, etc. a few times. It has happened both when I was thin and when I was heavier, but more often when I was thinner.

I personally don't mind male attention, as long as it's respectful. I was told the other day by a kid working at a cashier that I was beautiful. He blushed and stumbled over his words and everything-- who wouldn't love to hear that? However, it's very different if something sexual is said or if it's said in a disrespectful manner or when the threat of danger is involved. Both kinds of attention and comments increase when I'm thinner. However, since they kind of balance each other out, it's not anything that would prevent me from wanting to lose weight. I also don't live in a large city, experience this on a daily basis, or dress in revealing clothes that invite extra attention.

I watched the video link above and found it really disturbing. I also watched another video on facebook along a similar vein, except in this one, the woman was wearing a really revealing outfit with similar results. I know it's not PC to say, but I'm sorry-- if you're wearing something super revealing, why are you surprised to be getting comments? I think there's a fine line between feeling like you have to wear winter clothes in the summer as in the video linked above (which is absolutely NOT okay) and wearing an outfit that makes you look like a hooker while claiming male attention/comments are unfair and sexist. Use some common sense. Would women look at a half naked man (and bolder ones even comment) walking down the street? Of course. The only difference is there's not the same threat of physical violence in the second situation.

To get back to the original post, I fully understand how a woman might be uncomfortable with sexual attention from men (and I'm not talking about the creepy kind). I've never been able to think of myself as a sexual being, can't imagine anyone else thinking of me that way, and am not even comfortable when people talk about dating and such - and I'm a guy. I have no idea why I'm this way, but I can understand how women would feel the way they do.

They make me feel like laughing. Google: Rationalising.

There are a lot of strange people out there. Many mean people and many peo0e that may not like you. Don’t let this get to you, and continue on your way to perfect yourself as you see fit

sometimes we will feel sad if other people see us like that.

It's a little frustrating that everything is dedicated to diets especially for women... it's hard to find something suitable for us.

There is just nothing to do. It's a person's body. If they do not have good decision making skills then it is up to them, as long as they are assertive