[sept15lija]

Originally Posted by DixC Chix

Relevance is what the receiver gives it if she gives it any relevance at all. The receiver has the power to do with it what ever.

Exactly. Why give the person making the comment that much power? I think random compliments sound wonderful. I would definitely appreciate compliments coming from men or women - it is sad that men need to so careful about what they say just from the virtue of the fact that they're men.

[chris250]

This thread is a great example of problems between men and women or, in 90's speak, Mars and Venus.

It's as though men need to know women before they can say anything to them. Sadly, men have to say stuff to women before we can know women.

Does anyone else find it interesting that there's probably not a single compliment, no matter what the subject, a woman could give a man that would cause the kind of issue that's being discussed here?

I get the "creeper" thing but, honestly, I doubt many guys would purposely say something like that if they thought offense would be taken, a few imbeciles aside.

Bottom line: Take the compliment as intended while understanding we don't all think the same way.

[Nola Celeste]

I've been a young woman of near-normal weight, and yes, there was a lot of input given to me about my appearance. I remember being told once as I was waiting for my friends to meet me that I "looked like the kind of person men write poetry for" by a much older guy. It was clear that he didn't mean it in a lecherous way.

The fact that I still recall that as one of the sweetest random compliments I ever got even now is a testament to the importance of saying kind things.

I guess I don't consider power or any imbalance thereof as it relates to compliments. And I would absolutely tell my boss's boss that purple suited him or her well--not during a meeting, of course, but after it as part of the general "how's the family" conversation that's appropriate for an office. Back when I had bosses, I neither withheld nor manufactured compliments based on the work relationship.

Compliments are to power as baseball stats are to designer luggage--utterly unrelated, at least to me. Of course there are inappropriate compliments and inappropriate times to say them--board meetings, during a movie, while undergoing a Pap smear--but to me, they aren't inherently or even tangentially related to power.

Your mileage may certainly vary, though. We all perceive things differently.

[prepping]

Keep it simple. Don't read too much into anything as it'll drive you nuts.

A compliment on anything other than main body parts is generally safe. I get compliments from men on my shoes, purses, coats, jewellery, height, even "athletic build", and they are all perfectly positive.

And if you're worried a compliment would have a negative reaction, well, you'll never see the person again. And it's not like women (and men) are inundated with compliments every single day.

If it makes you feel good, go for it! (with a little common social sense)

[MiZTaCCen]

Give the compliment if they take offence to it screw them. Simple as that. If people complimented me more I'd probably be happier (or not) but either way as long as you're not going oh "Nice tits, or @ss" type comments you should be fine. Like "You have pretty eyes, or that shirt looks good on you etc..." those are good.

[MichelleD]

Woman sneaking into the men's forum here. Compliments... normally awesome but there are exceptions. The best random compliments are those that focus on something that the person clearly takes pride on. If they are wearing a remarkable piece of jewelry, clothing, intricate hair style, etc. Any particular activity is fair game (walking, biking, riding, surfing, etc) as well as any accessories for the respective sports. The touchy compliments are one's dealing with the body. It is very, very rare that "hey, nice tits" is appropriate, nice tats however is always cool. "Nice legs"... very creepy, "awesome calves"... can be okay if the person is actively working out at the gym. That kind of thing.

In general, random compliments are amazing and always make my day.

[chickadee32]

I usually really enjoy sincere, non-sexual compliments. As long as the compliment is given in a situation that's not threatening and where she feels able to walk away if she chooses (that is, at night while she's pumping her gas would not be the ideal time), I say go for it. As others have said, most body parts should be off-limits, but I think a compliment on a woman's eyes or smile is totally appropriate.

Speaking of smiles, those can feel like a compliment all on their own. It's always a pleasant surprise to get a nice, sincere smile from a man at the grocery store or another public place as I'm going about my day.

[maylay03]

i agree with lackadaisy but i'm a weirdo and don't like attention. most of my gf's love attention tho but they will usually let you know with eye contact and body language that it is ok