My name is Jennifer. I am 31 years old. I live in Portland, Oregon. I have never been to New York City; I've only seen the World Trade Center on the television. I've driven by the Pentagon....once. I have don't know a single person in either city. I didn't know anyone on any of the perished aircraft.

I am too young to have memories of Vietnam. Everything I've learned about Pearl Harbor was either in school or on vacation to Hawaii. I can't remember the bombing of Pam Am flight 103. I lived in Alaska during the Oklahoma City bombing and the shootings at Columbine and felt that neither one REALLY affected me.

This does. THIS DOES!

My television has been turned on and off (I have little kids who are old enough for questions, but too young for comprehesion of this truly grim time). My mind continually contains graphic images of reality: a fire in one Tower, an airplane hitting and exploding another Tower. Buildings collapsing with thousands of people of inside. People running is terror. And, equal memories of this reality: hundreds upon hundreds of strangers in grief, looking for loved ones. Rescue personnel risking their lives to save others. The President of the United States with tears in his eyes. Firefighters raising a flag over destruction.

Like millions of others, I was a disconnected American. Out for myself and my immediate family. This week has changed me forever. Every time I see our flag, our symbol of freedom, I see these images and the tears flow. Nothing used to affect me PERSONALLY.

THIS DOES!

Jenniwookie,


I feel the same about your description of disconnection. I have always been proud to be an American, but never really showed it or maybe I just took it for granted.

You are a lucky person to be living in Portland Oregon. I was on a recent business trip to your beautiful city. I felt that Portland must be a lot like heaven. If I were 20 years younger and had no roots in Michigan, I would pack up and move there.

Take care,

jenny

JennyW~<Hugs> to you. I think you are echoing what so many of us are feeling. And I'm afraid that I don't understand that some do not feel what these horrible acts mean for our world as we know it.

I, as you, have these horrible realistic images. And I cry. I watch our national leaders with red eyes and I cry. The burden that they are carrying. I watch the many who are grieving for their missing or lost love ones and I cry. I look at the young faces of those young boys carrying our flags, they're just babies, and I cry. I am afraid for our future. I find myself thanking God that Stephen isn't in the military yet, then feel guilty as so many sons are, and I cry.

I resolved today after much crying that I am letting the prayers take over. I must put full trust in my Lord and leave it in his hands. My tears won't stop, but I must stop dwelling on what I have no control of....and trust the love and power of God. I am going to offer my family as much normalcy as I possibly can as I am so Blessed to have them and if we go to war, I want every minute I have with them even more special, because we never know.

I guess what I'm trying to say is. We, as a compassionate people, share so many of the same emotions that you are experiencing. But God has united us and we must hold onto each other and not let the horrible evils take us over.

Those horrible people will not fill my heart with rage and revenge. I will not become that of which I despise.

Let's keep sharing and praying. But also let's remember to enjoy all the Blessings and positives that God has surrounded us with.

God Bless
Janice

I am 62, twice your age. I did not lose anyone in the horror. I have nobody in the military in either country. I have cried so much over this that my DH is getting quite worried. I have to get back to "normal" and get on with the rest of my life.

I am Canadian but also AMERICAN!

Here is what our Prime Minister said at the noon service at Parliament Hill:

"At a time like this, words fail us. We reel before the blunt and terrible reality of the evil we have just witnessed," he said.

"We cannot stop the tears of grief. We cannot bring back lost wives and husbands, sons and daughters, American citizens, Canadian citizens, citizens from all over the world. We cannot restore futures that have been cut terribly short.

"By their outpouring of concern, sympathy and help, the feelings and actions of Canadians have been clear.

"And, even as we grieve our own losses, the message they send to the American people is equally clear. Do not despair. You are not alone. We are with you. The whole world is with you."

Ruth~The television station I was watching showed a bit of the Prayer/Memorial Service held in Ottawa. Again, I cried watching the soldier sing "God Bless America" and the crowd wearing their American flags, covering their hearts and crying. The young lady holding the picture of the American navy member is a young man from Houston ( I believe) as locally they've been interviewing the family and showing his picture often. What a wonderful tribute to see so many displaying both the Canadian and American flags. Such a Unity of the love of goodness and neighbors.

I know that, for myself, the outpour of love and support from our friendly and supportive countries throughtout the world has offered much comfort. This truly has been a horrific act towards people of all free countries and WE have united.

Janice

Yesterday I tried not to even turn on the TV or radio. I felt like I just couldn't handle anymore. I couldn't finish any tasks I started. I could barley hold conversations about everyday things with out breaking down.
When DH got home from work he said I looked like a zombie. My eyes burn continuously and I feel sick all the time. I finally turned on the news when Dh got home yesterday. I waited, becuase I needed to know someone else was there with me. Does that make sense? I sat and cryed and cryed for about 4 hours straight. I couldn't eat, let alone cook dinner, so he handled that. Then he kept kids upstairs in the game room playing games with them and talking with them so I could have my breakdown. Around 9:00 after he put kids to bed he came down and gave me a bowl of Rocky Road for dinner, turned the channel to decorating shows and then calmly tucked me in bed. As I lay in bed thinking what a wonderful man I had, it brought to mind the hundreds and thousands of women that won't have that anymore. That have no husband coming home to save them from a day of sorrow, and again, I cried myself to sleep.
My neighbor told me at the bus stop that I need to try to get back to normal. What will that be now?? Is there someway that this is just not going to matter and everything will be the same again. I think not. She said if I didn't stop soon she'd be worried about me. Stop soon?? What is soon? How long is a proper grieving period. When do I pass in to the worried stage, and when am I allowed just to be sick at heart?? And yes, thinking about all this, just causes me to cry.
Thank you all for being at the other end of my computer, who would I drone on to if not for you wonderful people I have come to know????

First off let me say that I know nothin about nothin! So I am just going to blabber on and pretend that I do.

I think that there is great comfort and solace in going about the routine things in your life. Emptying the dishwasher, folding laundry...you know, the mundane stuff that real life is made of. Through these actions (at least for me) we connect with what is real in our individual lives. It is a way to gather strength, to carry on and to eventually help others.

I also think that for some of us that having children makes us have a new type of love or depth to us. (not implying that those who don't have children don't have this kind of depth...I just know that I did not have this type of capacity of feeling before I had my children) We love them, we care for them like no others but that depth of feeling also carries over to other aspects of our lives. I also think that the death of a close loved one impacts us the same way. I am not sure how to describe it but I guess it is of the stuff that makes us HUMAN.

I can only speak of things that have helped me, although I still have some very bad moments. The daily routine has helped me a great deal. Giving back has helped also. AND when all else fails...I jump in my bed and hide under the covers for an hour or so...it is my very BEST coping strategy...besides that pint of Hagen Das!

hang in there gals...find the things that make you strong and embrace them for all it's worth!

hugs and good stuff!
peach

I FEEL GOOD !!! There is a group of is referred to as 'THE GIRLS' that met unplanned tonight. I was already in DH's pj's and ready to relax for the evening. One of 'THE GIRLS' called and said, "I'VE GOT CANDLES". That is all it took.

I dug out a small American & Texan flag that I had. Another friend found a plastic American flag she had and we stood on the side of the street with flags and candles offering our support. We passed out many to strangers (some joined us but most did not) and we wiaved our flag and held our candles high. I FEEL BETTER.

This is NOT a cure, but WE (the girls) who have been crying all week came together and it was a good thing.

A Mother, that we did not know....stopped and took one of her candles. She was a bit hesitant in the beginning and we thought it was cause she didnt' know us. As she held her candle she came to admit that her 19 year old son was called to active duty today and she doesn' t know where. We prayed together. Please keep her in prayers. Her name is Marie.

Our Love IS bringing many together.

God Bless

J

What a very rewardig thing you did. At 7P i was taking my DD to a school dance and missed it all as I was trying to fend off phone calls at the same time.

I watch the news once a day...that's enough! Today, I had an interesting thought. I was at a tractor pull, my first, when I looked around at the people wearing our colors. And the tractors draped with the American flag.
Out of this terrible deed last Tuesday, I wonder if some good may come out of it. The America people are pulling together! Indeed, the people of the world are pulling together. Nations are going to work together to drive out terrorism. I realize that some of them are doing so because they fear we will blow them off of the map, but still, it is a beginning.
I stopped crying as it isn't going to change a darn thing! America, as we've known it , will never be the same. We've lost our innocence. Now, it's time to take that loss and build on it.

God bless America and all her sister nations.