[peach pit]

You know, I love you guys for a lot of reasons.....but I think these are the best reasons of all! YOU GUYS CRACK ME UP!!!!

peach

[Sooner or Later]

Ok, Peach, I'm probably the only person around who hasn't done anything particularly embarrassing -- Well, if you don't count this Thanksgiving...

We were playing spoons. If you've never played it -- I'll explain just a bit. It's a card game where you pass cards trying to get 4 of a kind. There is a circle of spoons in the middle of the table, always one less in number than there are card players. When a person gets 4 of a kind, they take a spoon -- and at that point, all the other players try to grab a spoon -- because if you don't get one, you're out. Needless to say, after a couple of hands, cards are flying, spoons are flying -- and things began to get a little outrageously out of control. Not that I'm competitive or anything -- but I DO LIKE TO WIN.

On one particular hand, when the spoons started going, one fell into the lap of the fresh-faced young man sitting next to me. (I didn't know him -- he was a friend on my cousin's son.) Bucky, probably around 22 or 23, had the (mis)fortune of being seated between two determined, married women who were groping, digging, and clawing around in his lap for a good 15 seconds. I was too busy to notice, but my daughter, Kate, who was sitting across the table, said she saw every emotion from panic to gratitude cross his face. On one level I KNEW what I was doing, but on another, I could have cared less...I HAD TO HAVE THE SPOON!!

Until, of course, I came up w/that spoon and happened to notice the expression on the face of the nice young man's wife.

Kate has never looked at me the same way since either.

Sooner

[nasus40]

How about adressing the aniversary cart to your DH's brother and wife (mind you this was given infront of the whole family) and address it to him and you!!!!! OMG!

A great one i hear about this morning. a friend was hanging up clothes with her child on her back in a back pack carrier, and then took of down the road on her bike and visited a new family in the area, then rode all the way home when she took her son off her back she found that some how when she stood up a piece of clothing had gotten hooked on her back pack like it was oput there on purpose. Her husbands underwear!!! jockey shorts never the less!!!

[LindaBC]

RUTH!!!! I haveta know. Did you get fired or promoted for your little crotch grab trick? ROTFLMAO

Tippy, I've had a similar bathroom disaster just last year. We were renting a holiday trailer at a lake and I got up in the night to use the bathroom. Didn't turn on the light because I was in a hurry (read desperate). Well, you know those tiny little toilet cubicles those smaller trailers have and you'll have to just imagine my big backside wedged into this narrow place . Nightgown goes up, Linda goes down, Linda lets loose just as she realizes the lid is still down on the toilet. Linda hasn't enough bladder control to stop so humiliates herself. THEN has to try to clean up the overflow in cramped quarters. Oh my, not a pleasant sight.
Have ya ever walked out of a public washroom and realized that crowds of people are pointing and snickering? Then you suddenly realize that not only are you trailing a roll of toilet paper from your shoe but you have also got your skirt stuck up into your underpants at the back? Yup, it's happened to me. Not the high point of my life.
Invited hubby's boss and his wife for an "authentic" Italian dinner and, while passing the bowl of spaghetti (mixed with sauce) to the boss had it slip out of hands and into boss's lap? Yup, it's happened to me.
There are many, many humiliating, dumb mistakes I've made in 37+ years of marriage too numerous to mention, so you are definitely not alone.

[2cute2Bfat]

STOP IT !!! STOP IT !!! I can't breathe... LOL LOL

I never grabbed a man's crouch but I have set my stove on fire.... several times. LOL

Just recently I was walking into the restroom at Walmart. There were those wet floor orange thingys just outside the door so I knew they were cleaning. Right???.... Wrong !!!!!

I walked in and there stood two men. Since I assumed they were janitors I said "Hi... how are you today?"
They looked very surprised to see me. I just smiled one of my BIG smiles and and asked them if they were almost finished.
They both just stood there in shock. The one guy grabbed a paper towel and started drying his hands. The other guy grabbed his *&^% and started putting it back into his pants. He was hopping up and down trying to do it quickly.
I NEVER saw the urnials until the guy washing his hands said... "UM.. I think you want the women's bathroom."

I said.. "OH MY... I am soooo sorry!!!" I ran and sat in the womens restroom for at least 10 minutes. I was soooo embarrassed.
Thank goodness the guy using the urnal didn't turn around. LOL
Remembering it now and seeing him hopping up and down I still die laughing. I guess when I asked him if he was finished he figured he BETTER BE.

[Pooky]

OMG, 2 cute, you're making me pee my pants!!!!!!! Can you imagine what was going on their minds when you said that??? ROFLMAOPIMP!!!!!!!! (Rolling On The Floor Peeing In My Pants!)

[nasus40]

OMG that is hysterical!!! LOVE IT!!!

[scooby2]

SO.....listen to what a loser I am!!!

Of course I was late for church this morning, rushing around trying to get 2 children under 5 dressed, fed, teeth brushed and out the door into the curch nursery by 830 is nearly impossible...so of course I was snappy with them cause were late-(great job mom) Anyway, I race into the rest room before running into church and then I rush into the sanctuary and there is no where to sit except close to the front.......so I sit down and I feel cold wood on my butt....yes you guessed it my skirt was stuck in my panty hose. I traipsed up the center aisle of the church in front of 100 people with my skirt stuck in my pantyhose and my lovely flowered underwear and my butt beaming out to all. I absolutely wanted to crawl under the pew.... I still want to craw under something. Needless to say after church I collected my children from Sunday school and snuck out of the church........Have a lovely day all!!!!

[2cute2Bfat]

You poor thing. When those things happen at Walmart at least you never have to face those people again. But at church you have to face them every week.

You would think that SOMEONE would have gallantly stood up behind you and pull it down.... BUT... they were probably all too busy...... LAUGHING !!!!!

I can hear little Johnny now.... "Hey mommy...there is that lady with the flowery underwear." And mommy saying..."Shhhh, don't talk about that". And daddy sitting there GRINNING ...and thinking.... "Yeah, those were pretty undies !!".

Sorry I had to rub that in... that was too funny of a story.
I guess I have a little devil in me.

Think of the bright side.... at least they all know you wear underwear now.

[Lara H]

It could have been worse... you could have gone with only the stockings and no undies...

I will always remember seeing a woman moon all of Toronto's rush hour traffic while she flirted with a Bartender at a Bar with a huge window... she had her dress tucked up in her nylons and wasn't wearing even a thong under them as she leaned over the bar!

Lara

[goodforme]

I keep a laugh file in my e-mail, this popped up tonight. I really needed it! Anybody have any new ones?

[peach pit]

Nope, not another stupid thing has happen to me since!!






What else ya got in that file Sherrie?????

Funny how things eventually come back to haunt ya!

peach

[goodforme]

Hey, I'll admit, stupid sort of follows me around like a dark cloud! Let's see. . . . the other day I left my ATM card in the machine, despite the beeping and it begging me to take my card. The lady behind me grabbed it before the machine ate it, thank goodness she returned it to me!! See what I mean???

Psssst. . . . my secret laugh file is mostly jokes and such that were e-mailed to me from long ago, you are all safe!

[nasus40]

ROTFLPIMP with tears rolling down my face!!! Thanks i forgot about those!!! Too much to read before bed now do you really expect me to sleep????

[Sooner or Later]

This popped up in my inbox so I came on over to take a look. I'd had forgotten what a bunch of wild and crazy gals you are!

I'd also completely forgotten about the time our family went to a big water slide park in Davenport.

After doing it all -- from the big bad slides to the wee ones -- my DD and I went to the dressing room to change clothes just as the park was closing. Imagine my face when I took off my bathing suit and discovered that I'd worn a HUGE hole right in the middle of the butt. The backside of my suit had just disappeared. Like Captain Kirk shot me from behind with a fabric phaser. Took my suit, but left my big rear end shining and woefully intact.

I can't think of ANY words -- no, I don't think there ARE words -- to describe all the emotions that went through me as I stood holding the tattered remains of what I had just that morning convinced myself was a bathing suit that would NOT draw attention to me.

I'd completely (and blissfully) blocked this traumatic event from my memory for at least 10 years! (Gee, thanks chicks!) But now that I think about it -- I'm pretty grateful that it WAS 10 years ago. Who knows what would be fallin' out of that big hole these days.