How do you develop fashion sense?
 

I've never, ever really been fashion-aware. I grew up in a very frugal (and oftentimes impoverished) family, and clothing was for covering you. I frequently bought what was on deepest-discount clearance that wasn't exceptionally too tight or too loose.

Then I started working as a geek, where standard office wear was vaguely clean cut-off jeans, flip flops and vendor t-shirts. I got married, and started borrowing my husband's clothing. Right now, my standard daily wear is a pair of nylon cargo shorts (I share a large number with my husband), a t-shirt and athletic shoes. It covers me, I don't have to think about it, and I can bicycle in it without concern. I still tend to only look at the deepest discounts and most affordable retailers, but now it's as much because I don't trust myself not to buy something hideous or impractical.

My current personal plan is to value and improve myself. Losing weight is part of that, but so is changing how I display myself.

I've started with some baby steps. I bought a pair of heels and I practice walking in the for 10-15 minutes at a time, maybe three times a month. I bought a pair of slacks that fit. I'm not sure that they do much for me, but they don't need a belt to hold them up and they don't drag the ground when I have shoes on.

Now I'm kind of stuck, though. I don't know what styles would flatter my figure. I don't know where to shop. I don't know -how- to shop. I've got no idea what kind of a wardrobe to build, or how to start assembling outfits instead of just grabbing any shirt to go with any pair of shorts. Cosmetics leave me utterly lost. I was going to have my eyebrows shaped as a 5lb reward, but I don't know how it works. I don't know what to say, or ask for.

Where do I start? Are there books? Magazines? Websites? Right now I'm just buying a piece or two as I shrink out of all my other clothes, but at goal, I want to have the skills to start buying a full, flattering wardrobe that I feel good in and I won't have them if I don't start learning now.

Okay, I think the first step should be just going into a women's clothing store and looking around. Find a couple different things and try them on. See what you like and what you don't. If you want, you can look at fashion mags like vogue for tips. Also, as far as makeup goes, go to the makeup counters at Macy's, if there's one around where you live. They'll do your makeup and you can ask about the shades, actually they usually give you a paper stating all they used. That's how my sister and I find out the shades so we can go to the drugstore and buy makeup similar to it. We don't have enough money to afford Clinique, Estee Lauder, etc. so we buy drugstore makeup. Anyway, most importantly, don't get discouraged. Change is hard and it takes time but you're worth the effort. :)

Hi Flourless,

That's great that you're incorporating evolving fashion as a reward system :-) Positive reinforcement!

Since you're in progress of loosing weight start with some forgiving basic separates, things that give you a good weight range so you aren't having to cycle them out too fast, then accessorize with jewelry or a nice sweater. It really depends on your comfort level...that's the most important thing...ease into a new wardrobe so that you feel comfortable and confident wearing it. I've been shopping at re-sale shops, Goodwill and Ross to save money since I'm still in the "in progress" stage.

Make-up...You might want to check out your local library for books on skincare/make-up for ideas and if you find one that you really like buy a copy. The nice thing about the books is that they usually focus less on current trends and instead give ideas for broader face face shapes, skin tones and the like. Sometimes you just have to play around with shades to see what works.

Good luck!

I would also suggest you start watching What Not To Wear on TLC. They give lots of advice on clothing shapes and styles to flatter various bodies. Plus you can look at the people with truly awful wardrobes and not feel so bad about what's in your closet. :p

I think it really depends on what style you want (though don't worry, you can be flexible as time goes on and don't have to stick to just one.)

Since you're a geek (WOOOOO!!!) geek chic is rather in and will always be in when it comes to other geeks, so is hipster (faux geek chic, ugh). So go for women's t-shirts rather than men (they are shaped like baby doll shirts, snug on top while cinching at the waist before flaring out at the hips rather than the large around the shoulders v-shape guys shirts are cut.) That enough will show off your shape rather than make you look baggy.

I also recommend buying one or two dresses that are simple and worn during the day. Easy to throw on with a pair of sandals or heels, then accessorize. Dresses can also be taken in to be hemmed or cinched when you lose weight - remember its easier to make clothes smaller than to make them larger at the tailors.

Here are some of my favorite stores that I think you'd like. Just browse through them and check out what some people wear. You don't have to buy any of it of course but its good to get an idea of different styles:

(if the mods don't mind...)
modcloth.com (trendy but independent style, my FAVORITE shopping place.)
net-a-porter.com (store of all the higher brand and haute couture designers. GREAT to see what was in season.)
outnet.com (same as netaporter but as an outlet online store.)
nordstrom.com (Just fun to browse through.)

I'm not sure what your budget is, but don't be afraid to look at the higher end stores to at least get an idea. You can always make cheaper versions of runway clothes that may in fact look 100 times better/cooler. A great show that does /exactly/ that is Gok's Clothes Roadshow, so check it out if you can!

I think you have to find what you are comfortable with... because it would seem that you are trying to change into a more stylish you, but I think it's also important to like the new you :D

I'm a bit of a *people spotter*, I always look at what other people are wearing and what styles and whatever, but as I live in Tokyo... half of the stuff is purely hilarious :D but that's the beauty of it... If you can feel comfortable in something, who gives a #$%^& what other people think?

Try to find your body type, what kind of clothing you can wear on a daily basis that would fit your environment and personality.

Are you into comfy, stylish, relaxed, etc? All this should reflect in your make up, hair style, nails, shoes, clothes, accessories, etc :) So first... What look are YOU comfortable with?

Flourless,
I find that I have the opposite problem (of sorts) to yours. While, because of my weight, most of my clothes (minus my business-ware) are jeans and tee-shirts, I have overcompensated for that with a great sense of style. I have learned most of it from shows like "what not to wear" or the style shows. But I have experimented and critiqued, especially with others who have a chance to wear amazing clothes and cool shoes.

My advice would be to watch those style shows, perhaps research your body type/shades/style personality online. And above all else, seek help. Not the Mental Kind, but the expert kind. They have helpers at stores like Macy's, Lane Bryant, Dress Barn, and others that can and will help you. You need a teacher in things like math and history...why can't you need one for fashion. They will teach you what is right for your body, so in the future you can take those rules and shop for yourself with confidence.

As a fellow she geek I can totally relate. I don't have a great sense of style so everyone's advice has been totally wonderful. One thing I did do was to book a make up session at a local salon. The women there really sat down and taught me how to apply make up, what to apply and where. It was worth the money spent. If finances don't allow that, go into a local Ulta, or Merle Norman, or Sephora and ask, most of the people that work there are happy to show you what to do. Magazines are some of the best for style, but I always seem to have to look for similar stuff, as they never have here in Oklahoma what I see in the magazines. Don't forget, great styles can be had out of vintage shops and thrift stores. I have a friend of mine who can afford what ever she wants, but still shops thrift stores because she likes the bargains. And if you are still losing weight, you can toss them or give them away and have invested a lot.

I've watched What Not To Wear before (and started again, a couple days ago). My problem is that for the most part, my wardrobe belongs on that show. So watching gives me the urge to go and purge everything I own. Unfortunately, then I'd be naked. I'd nominate myself, except that I don't care enough to spend a week shopping and displaying my fashion-incompetence to the world.

I watch the show, and I generally like it, and I think I'm slowly getting more of a feel for shapes and cut and motion and getting past the "All of the clothes they show are completely inappropriate for my environment."

What are the mechanics for this? Do you make an appointment? Do you walk up to the counter and ask? What's the graceful way of saying "Thanks for your time, I'm not buying any of this?" Something like "I'd like to wear it for a few hours and see how I feel about it?"

And while we're on the topic of cosmetics - I suspect that having the right tools (brushes, etc) goes a long way in terms of distributing color smoothly and evenly. Are there resources for finding the sweet spot (quality vs price) or where to look for that sort of thing?

I do not suggest watching what not to wear. Maybe the only thing to looked on that show is what the host Stacy London wears. I don't feel that she always puts good clothing on the people who come on the show. But you could look up online what types of clothes are flattering to your body type and really go from there.

Yeah, I've got to tell you, men's XLT t-shirts just aren't doing it on a short chick. The shoulder seam is usually hanging a few inches below my shoulder, and the sleeve comes down past my elbows. Right now, almost anything would be an improvement!

I think I'm losing size faster than I realize, too. The slacks I bought three weeks ago need a belt now and are starting to look a little baggy. No time like the present to experiment a little, because I'll only be wearing it for a short time anyway!

Tailoring hadn't occurred to me. The slacks I have now would fit better if they were 3" smaller in the waist. I might see if one of the local alterations places can do that.

Thanks for the links too. I appreciate them! I've been trying to find as many places to look at as I can, but it's been slow-going to accumulate them.

I'm comfortable wearing oversized cargo shorts and t-shirts that wrap me up like a mummy. But it doesn't do me any favors, and it doesn't start to fix the mental issues that make me more comfortable fat than thin.

When I'm overweight, I don't have to think about clothing. Nothing will make me look good, so I may as well do what's cheap. I don't have to confront the possibility that I might be attractive. I don't have to deal with the early reinforcement I got that my body will never meet the "standard". I can wear loose clothes and not notice if I go up or down a size or three.

This aspect of self-improvement is about making myself uncomfortable. It's about walking into stores that I would have looked away from and wearing clothes that don't make me fade into the background. Obviously I need things that are functional and appropriate for my daily life and that I find aesthetically pleasing and physically comfortable. But I need to shake myself up a little for my own good.

At a counter, there is none. You're screwing someone whose expertise you've just used. And IMO that's not a nice thing to do.

If you won't buy anything*, don't go to a makeup counter. Go to Sephora instead.

* And I do not mean "well, I miiiiight have if this and that and this other." I mean, if in reality you kind of know already that your wallet will remain closed.

^^ haha! I do like that show but I agree that they don't seem to really consider the person, they just slap on what they like.

I found the *books* by the *British* What Not to Wear ladies (Susannah & Trinny) to be incredibly helpful when I went through a wardrobe makeover early this year. They go through body types and outline what looks good on what types, with LOTS of photographs. I just took the books from the library.

I feel like it was very useful to know what to look for when shopping. The styles in the older books might be a bit dated but the principles remain about dressing for your body type.

Here is a list of their books, just from Wikipedia. I also found a bunch more from the library when I started searching. It was a fun process!

• Ready 2 Dress: How to Have Style Without Following Fashion, Weidenfeld Nicolson (14 February 2000) (ISBN 0-3043-5425-2)
• What Not to Wear, Weidenfeld Nicolson (5 September 2002) (ISBN 0-2978-4331-1)
• What Not to Wear: The Rules, Weidenfeld Nicolson (1 June 2004) (ISBN 1-8418-8249-6)
• What Not to Wear: For Every Occasion, Weidenfeld Nicolson (1 June 2004) (ISBN 1-8418-8236-4)
• What You Wear Can Change Your Life, Weidenfeld & Nicolson (17 September 2004) (ISBN 0-2978-4356-7)
• What Your Clothes Say About You, Weidenfeld & Nicolson (29 September 2005) (ISBN 0-2978-4357-5)
• Trinny and Susannah: The Survival Guide, Weidenfeld & Nicolson, (20 September 2006) (ISBN 0-2978-4426-1)
• Trinny & Susannah Take on America: What Your Clothes Say about You, HarperCollins Publishers (October 2006) (ISBN 0-0611-3744-8)
• The Body Shape Bible, Weidenfeld & Nicolson (18 September 2007) (ISBN 0-2978-4454-7)

Re: makeup. I'm all for simplicity for every day. For my needs (even out skin tone, try not to look asleep, make my lips look not invisible...), I only use foundation (I have used various brands, including from Bare Minerals and from Origins; both will give you a makeover), eyeliner (various brands, dark brown, waterproof) and a long-lasting liquid lip color/lip stain that gives color but doesn't rub off or feel lipstick-y.

Have fun experimenting!!