We're talking, if I don't have my glasses on, I'm bound to be bouncing off door frames because they're so blurry if they're more than 6 inches in front of me, the depth perception is non-existent.
I'd switched to contacts in '01, but for the past year and a half, I've hardly been able to wear them at all. It's not for lack of funds, but because my eyes very quickly became intolerant to all kinds. I've tried no less than six different brands and styles, and every time I've had itchy, red, painfully gunked up eyes by the end of the day. (Sometimes within minutes of them being put in!!!)
I didn't realize how much my lack of vision affected my life until last summer at the beach. I took my glasses off before hitting the water for many body boarding sessions, and though I oddly have slightly improved vision while in the water, I found myself panicking. I couldn't see what was in the water below me and several times, I seriously flat out refused to put my feet down until my very patient best friend assured me it was only seaweed. I didn't know that I had such a big fear of what I couldn't see until then. I always knew I had it to a small extent, like being home alone at night hearing typical house settling noises after watching something creepy on tv, but this wasn't good. I've never had a panic attack before then, and have been afraid to go in the water since.
For me, not going in the water is like not breathing. I've been so deeply bonded to the ocean my whole life, that it's seriously depressing to be distancing myself from what makes me feel most at ease and at home.
Fast forward to yesterday afternoon:
Checking the mail, I was surprised to find a letter for me. Now, things like holiday and birthday cards are one thing, but a random letter handwritten with no return address is VERY rare. I about fainted upon opening it.
It was an apology note and a check from someone that I shared an apartment with from '04 to '05. My old roomate had taken off in the middle of the night in July of '05 and not come back. He had not only vanished with only a small bag of clean clothes and his laptop, but the inheritance check that I had just received from my grandmother who had died less than 2 months before. Yes, I was furious and hurt, but had written it off as a loss as much as it pained me.
Well, guilt apparently got the better of him, and these few years later, my money showed up!
I immediately put the check in the bank and did something impulsive that never in a thousand years I thought that I'd do.... Called my optometrist and asked for a lasik referral. I've got a consultation on Thursday!!!
I am so excited for the possibility to finally not be limited by my extremely poor vision. It's like a weight is being lifted off my shoulders and I'm looking forward to the doors that being able to see well without my glasses will open. On top of it all, FINALLY I'll be able to also have money put aside into savings. For years, I've been surviving paycheck to paycheck, and now, I'm feeling so much more at ease, knowing I can start saving and not let myself touch the money.
