Did you know you guys are fantastic? I've been feeling like a grump all day at work and I come home and see where this thread has gone.
For the record: I don't feel attacked, Mel is my hero and very wise, and I can't think of a better place to see weight loss issues explored than this. My opinion is simply that all of us should feel proud of our accomplishments, and comparison is not always helpful for that (it obviously wasn't for me this morning). Sometimes threads go in a direction that no one individual poster pushes (and certainly not Mel), and I think this was one of those times. And Meg, I think thoughtful discussion is always better than censorship, and clearly this thread has evolved into that, where the things that people found interesting pretty much are. Finally, I'll pitch a fit now and then, but I am an adult and it is not your collective jobs in life to make me happy (although I appreciate the effort), and sometimes it may be better for the group as a whole to go a way I don't necessarily like. Just don't expect me to be quiet about it, although I'll try to be civilized.
There was only one post I had real issue with on reading, that I do want to respond to (here goes the not-being-quiet thing). BMI is an important statistic, and one should certainly consider it in determining whether one is at a healthy weight. But it is a statistic, and should not be a blanket requirement for everyone. To call some else's goal weight unhealthy is presumptuous, ignorant, and just plain rude. Important health changes occur at just a 5-10% loss of body weight in obese individuals, and it is up to each person with the consultation of their chosen medical professional to find a weight right for them. None of us get a vote. I sincely hope you never get to fully understand how naive and insulting a statement like "but why stop there if you've got healthy weightloss down pat" is. Getting to and maintaining 200 pounds after being 225 (or more) is a major acheivement in both health and lifestyle, I know because I've been there, and I applaud everyone who's doing that.
Meg, our dear moderator, I'm not sure if my last paragraph was civilized, but I tried. Cut away if you need to.
I went to that site, and it still does have the "percentile" comparison figure further down the page.
I was referring to the title which says "Calculate your Body Mass Index and compare yourself to friends with a similar age and height"... on the women's page only lol
Anne, I totally agree that there is tremendous health benefit for anyone who loses 5-10% of their body weight. This loss should definitely be applauded and is just as important as the ones of us who have lost more than that. After a 10% weight loss, I was able to cut out one of my blood pressure med's and that made me feel great and very successful. Plus, this also helped with my blood sugar issues. We should all be proud of our achievements and the success of each other as well.
I am not a competitive person by nature, so it never even occurred to me that this could be perceived as a contest! I just don't see life in that way. Sorry to anyone who felt offended!
I really only compared myself to myself - my "number" when I started and my "number" now, I just like seeing how far I've come. I really didn't consider that my number was a comparison against each others, I only looked at me then and me now I love anything that shows positive progress.
Anne, I feel it is uncalled for to say someone is ignorant and rude. I did hastily draft my post so sincerest apologies if anyone misunderstood where I'm coming from. It goes without saying that it is beyond awesome to lose weight, and any amount contributes to bettering one's health and is to be commended. I had someone personal in mind when posting: a friend of mine went down about 150 pounds to 260 or so after getting weightloss surgery, she's been taking meridia for about one year and lost 15 pounds on that, but she will not exercise and she eats high quantities of extremely fatty unhealthy processed snacks and meals almost constantly (while taking high doses of meridia). I just worry about her and that she went through all that with the surgery and taking medication but she doesn't want to make any dietary or exercise changes. I think she's satisfied that she did come down a lot in weight so she's eating/not exercising as she always has, but just in less quantities now than at 400 pounds. My personal opinion is that its generally a hard life carrying around a lot of extra weight (e.g. her knees are starting to give out), and I just worry about her. Sometimes things come across in a quick post different than the writer intended and I think you should give people more of the benefit of the doubt about their intentions and their heart.
I think that's fair. You don't sound ignorant of that situation, and as for whether it was rude or not, it would not be my call to make. If you had posted about someone personal instead of making it a general statement, I wouldn't have said a word about your post.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mami
Sometimes things come across in a quick post different than the writer intended and I think you should give people more of the benefit of the doubt about their intentions and their heart.
I think that's also fair, and certainly true; I know I have done that before and probably in this very thread. But you said something, intended or not, that was, to me at least, outrageous and hurtful, especially the part I quoted. I made a strong reply, and certainly not a nice one, to get your attention (that obviously worked). I had a problem with what you said, and not you personally. You certainly seem like a caring person, and for the record I didn't say that you were rude, I said that what you said was rude, a subtle but important distinction. Today, when I am a lot less angry about what you said, I can appreciate that that distinction might have been lost in the harsh words, and I'm sorry if you took it as a personal insult. It is pretty obvious from your second post that you didn't intend it to be that way, but of course not being a mind reader I didn't know that yesterday.
I suppose this is a lesson to all of us to chose our words thoughtfully, because words can be hurtful. I'm going back to my corner of the sandbox now, and I'll try to play nice from here on out.
I had someone personal in mind when posting: a friend of mine went down about 150 pounds to 260 or so after getting weightloss surgery, she's been taking meridia for about one year and lost 15 pounds on that, but she will not exercise and she eats high quantities of extremely fatty unhealthy processed snacks and meals almost constantly (while taking high doses of meridia). I just worry about her and that she went through all that with the surgery and taking medication but she doesn't want to make any dietary or exercise changes. I think she's satisfied that she did come down a lot in weight so she's eating/not exercising as she always has, but just in less quantities now than at 400 pounds. My personal opinion is that its generally a hard life carrying around a lot of extra weight (e.g. her knees are starting to give out), and I just worry about her.
I think this has been discussed on many boards before but when you lose a lot of weight, you start thinking "wow, I've lost all this weight, my life has improved and now I can relax a little". It is a bit of apathy that we often feel. I've lost slightly over 100 lbs and it is something I struggle with constantly. The world sees me as fat but I see myself as someone who has lost 100 lbs and has maintained a large portion of that loss for almost 2 years. In order to combat that apathy, it takes a lot of work. I eat fairly healthy but it is still a struggle to lose weight and requires a concentrated effort. For me personally, I see weight loss as a long road so even if it takes me 5 years to get to where I want to be, I'm not worried. I just have to find a way to not get too content with my weight loss and realize I have more to lose.
And if you look around, that tends to be true. I don't know how old you are, but early to mid-forties seems to be a real turning point for women. Hormones start to change, and so do bodies. Early fifties is another hurdle. Maintenance is certainly doable, it just takes more care and awareness.
I love anything that shows positive progress.
