:hug: (minding the sore bits of course) Poor lilly. I hope your pain goes soon. I'm glad DS is sorted with his cash - sounds like he'll have a happy christmas!

Lily
Sorry to hear you feel so beat up but very good news on the $$ front for yourself and your ds. We have savings bonds for the kids. I'm hoping they will have them to get started or go to school, but maybe I should save them back incase they hit a hard stretch. Something to think about anyway.

Hi ho,

I'm afraid I've been missing in action lately, but I could not let the Thanksgiving Holiday come and go without telling you all how thankful I am that you are part of my life. I was trying to explain the 3FC community to DH the other day and discovered that I could hardly do it justice. He is very supportive, but I think it's hard for him -- and many others -- to grasp how important this board is and how meaningful the relationships, even if they are "virtual." The connectedness and kinship that I feel here is as tangible as my relationship, say, with my brother or the best friends I relate to "face to face." So, Happy Thanksgiving everyone, whether or not your observe the holiday. May your day be peaceful and filled with love. :hug:

Lily - I hope your side doesn't hurt so much tomorrow! Good to hear about your son getting out of debt. I just paid off my student loans and it was definitely a good feeling.

So those two pounds I had gained that I was trying to get rid of? Instead of getting rid of them, they turned into three pounds. :?: I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing wrong, since I don't feel like I've really changed my routine lately. A little of it might be TOM gain but I usually don't have more than 1lb of that since I am on birth control, and it's a little early for the TOM gain anyway (I would expect it more next week).

Here are some things I thought of that might be contributors -- do you guys think I'm crazy or could these actually be affecting my weight?

- Water. I feel like I drink water all day but I have been using small cups instead of my nalgene bottle so I haven't really been measuring the amount. Today I brought in my nalgene and I've had almost 500ml so far.

- Loss of muscle mass. Due to my wrist problems I stopped lifting weights, and due to a grumpy knee I stopped my leg strengthening. I know my body composition has changed and I'm thinking maybe the loss of some muscle has dropped my metabolism? I don't really know what's wrong with my knees -- I feel like an old lady since it hurts the most when the weather is bad. It also clicks when I walk sometimes, but it doesn't hurt 90% of the time. Maybe strengthening it would actually help. I'm doing physical therapy for my wrists and hopefully I can do weights again soon.

- Oil. When I was losing, I never used oil in cooking, just spray. Then I added back oil because I thought I wasn't getting enough fat in my diet. The past few months I haven't been measuring the oil I use to cook, just eyeballing it, and chances are I'm putting in more than my recipes call for. I know oil has a lot of calories so this might be a source of "hidden" calories.

- Lack of exercise. I feel like I'm going to the gym regularly (MWF) but I have to be honest with myself and point out that for several weeks in a row I have had things come up that had to be dealt with and interfered with my workout schedule (pretty much entirely wedding stuff). Also, I used to run which was a great workout but I am afraid of injuring my knees so now I walk or use the stair climber. Sometimes if I am lazy I will do a workout on FitTV but it's usually yoga or something that is not really cardio.

- Stress? Winter? I dunno. Winter makes me homesick for LA and the wedding planning is becoming more stressful. Yesterday I found out that we might not be able to have our wedding at the place we wanted to. I was hungry all day and I bet it was because of stress. I feel like I made good choices with my food (after I ate all my usual snacks - banana, apple, and yogurt - I got baked Lay's to tide me over which is only 130 calories for a bag, instead of the frosted strawberry poptarts that I really wanted to eat).

Anyway I'm really hoping that I can figure this out and lose these three pounds. I'm open to advice!

Also, :turkey: Happy Thanksgiving! I know I'm thankful that I'm not heavier than I was last Thanksgiving!

Paperclippy, sounds like you've just done yourself a big favor by figuring out what is causing the pounds to come on. Sometimes I think my biggest problem is kidding myself, or rationalizing the real issues away. Also, thanks for posting this: I've been struggling this month; I think my post-partum weight-loss pass has expired and now it is back to WORK. So work I will. But that quote gave me a much needed burst of perspective this morning.

Robin, I always look forward to your next post! Thank you for being here. Thank you everyone. This is the only place I know of where successful maintainers come to share their successes and issues, and I find it helps so much.

I'm doing a 5K Turkey trot on Thursday. I'll use 400 calories doing it, give or take. My goal is not to use this modest bit of exercise count as a license to eat. I'm also going to go over the holiday threads after DD goes to bed and make some commitments to myself for the holidays.

Anne

Hi everyone. I am also very thankful for all of you for the support and encouragement that I receive here at 3FC's. It has been a real blessing for me. I'm thankful that I'm smaller than I was at Thanksgiving last yr. (I was 175 at that time). I'm definitely healthier and on fewer med's than in previous yrs.

I found out this morning that I have two Thanksgiving dinners tomorrow. Lunch at my sisters and dinner at my MIL's. I love to see family, but free-for-all food situations are stressful for me.

I have a recipe for LC sugar-free fudge made with Splenda. So, tonite I'm going to try making this and if it turns out good, I'll take some to all my family. Has anyone ever tried making a lemon pie with Splenda? I would like to try this at Christmas.

paperclippy, WTG on getting student loans paid off. It took me several yrs. to pay mine off. We're still paying on DH's.

I have to go to the store again today. I forgot to buy tape to wrap presents and clothes boxes. I did remember lots of wrapping paper.

Thanks everyone, my side is better this morning. I've just been over-doing it with the exercise, the shopping and the house cleaning chores. I had my DD to do breakfast dishes this AM. I'm bad to do all the work myself and not ask the kids to help much.

paperclippy, I'm having some problem with the scale creep too. I have now cut my portions of breakfast meats in half. Hoping that this will help a little. My exercise is way up right now. I feel like I'm gaining muscle after months of inactivity. I really have to force myself to drink water. Coffee is my beverage of choice.

Meg, congrats on going for sushi over birthday cake. What a healthy and yummy alternative. Sure wish we had sushi around here! I'm happy you had a happy day - it was fun reading everyone's birthday wishes. You inspire and motivate so many. :thanks:

Lily, glad you're feeling better. Good luck with your two dinners. I can't personally recommend a lemon pie recipe, but if you google "sugar free lemon pie," you might find one to your liking.

Hang in there, Paperclippy. I think the bulk of this battle is being aware of your eating and exercise efforts and it sounds like you are. Do you have access to an elliptical? I find they are so much kinder to my knees.

Anne, your Turkey Trot sounds so great. What a wonderful opportunity to exercise on the big day. Have fun! Hope your headache and your DD's Roseola has improved.

Robin, you sound so wise and kind. I'm thankful you are a part of this forum and I always enjoy (and get something out of) your posts. Happy T-day.

I'll never forget the day I got to throw away my big grandma panties and buy pretty undies and bras. So much fun.

I had a maintenance milestone yesterday that was also a lot of fun. I bought a "little black dress" that is actually LITTLE! It's fitted and sleeveless and my husband showered me with compliments (using that enjoyable word "skinny" that I eat up) when I tried it on for him. He was even happier when I told him it was a $100 dress marked down to $15!! We have a formal fundraising function to go to on Tuesday and I'm so excited to wear my little black bargain.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. I'm feeling unusually calm and in control so far. I just need to remember not to drink too much. After a couple of drinks, my "happies" tend to obscure my determination to stay in control. I'm only one pound outside of my maintenance range and I don't want to blow it. Getting my workout in and sticking to a 2-drink maximum will be key. I also have to remember that tomorrow is not about perfection, it's about staying in focus.

Good luck everyone and enjoy your day. :thanks2:

I made my LC fudge last night. It's very good. The recipe is from a Light and Tasty magazine. I'll be taking some to my family for Thanksgiving. I like to cook but I don't want to have it sitting around my house. Also sending a batch of fudge to DH's work, those men love to eat sweets.

I'm heading to JC Penney's to buy a body shaper. I want to look really good tomorrow. Many of my distant relatives have not seen me in a yr. I have a black dress that is very form fitting that I want to look great in.

I'm staying on track with exercise and it feels good.


My DH made hints last night that he is planning on getting me and exercise bike for Christmas. I'm going to hint that I'd rather have the elliptical machine instead.

Thinking that reading encouraging things on the net was more productive than having a nap, I went looking at personal weight loss pages ... Sad really. Most end before they've begun.
I'm so glad you're here ... maintainers, losers, 3FC ....

Paperclippy-You sound like you've really thought about what is going on. That is part of the battle that I think is hardest to fight.

Lily-Glad you're feeling better and that the fudge was tasty. I'm sure you'll look great tomorrow.

Anne-I wanted to do a Turkey Trot walk/run here, but couldn't afford the entry for all my kids and couldn't very well leave them alone, lol.

Karynlee-The dress sounds great. I need to find something to wear to dh's Christmas party this year. What I've worn for the last two years is too big, no that that is a bad thing.

I'll be going to my dad's tomorrow with my kids. My dh has to work :-(. I'm going to try to keep it to one plate of really good stuff and one dessert. I'm bringing a fruit tray so I know I'll have that if the munchies strike. Happy Thanksgiving everyone. I am thankful to have found this site and all of you.

I bought the body shaper thing. OMG this thing is tight. I feel like I have a tight swimsuit under my clothes. It does flatten my tummy, so I'll take it. I never liked girdles because they would roll down over my fat. This thing isn't going anywhere. LOL. I tried my black slinky dress on and it looks great now. Yeah.

I weighed today after breakfast and 2 cups of coffee and was glad to see that it still showed 143. I'm only weighing twice a week. I splurged and bought me a bunch of new make-up today and new shoes to wear with my dress.

Happy Thanksgiving my friends. Walk lots today and stand and chat faaar faaar away from the cookie trays!

Happy Thanksgiving! :thanks1:

I've been up baking pies and wrapping Christmas presents for people to take home with them. :dizzy: My plan is to eat low-cal/low-carb until dinner and then have a little taste of the things I like best, being very picky. I've decided that I don't like mashed potatoes enough to spend the calories but do like stuffing. :T I'm going to try to avoid the pies entirely on the theory that a small piece wil only set me up for wanting to eat THE WHOLE THING :eek: and I just don't feel like dealing with cravings.

The new dresses sound fabulous! A little black halter dress was my fantasy dress for reaching goal too. :)

I was thinking about what I'm thankful for today and came up with my family and health, of course. And I'm so, so thankful for finally getting rid of the weight ... that was a ton of baggage that I carried around for too many years. I don't think I'll ever stop marveling at the miracle of being slim after a lifetime of obesity. It never gets old, does it? :D

And I'm thankful for all of you! :grouphug: Have a wonderful day with your loved ones and we'll regroup and head into the rest of the holidays tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! I'm waiting for DD to get ready to go. Then, off to family's we go. I doubled my walking last night and will do the same tonite and tomorrow night. I can skip the mashed potatoes and the stuffing but will have a small helping of the cheesy brocolli casserole. It's my favorite. The rest of my meal will be low carb. My MIL is making me a lemon pie, my favorite, so I will have 1 slice. That's it for dessert for me.

I am also very thankful not to be obese anymore. I weighed this morning to make sure where I'm starting this holiday at. Scale says 141. (I did buy new scales this week).

I'm very thankful that my health is improved. I'm much more active than I was. I'm also thankful my son, and DH are off work today to enjoy the holiday with family.

I made it through the 2 thanksgiving dinners. Not perfect, but not too awfully bad. Tomorrow's a new day and on the treadmill is where I will be found. LOL. Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving.

Lily, congrats. Sounds like you did great. :)

I'm pretty happy with how yesterday went, too. Stuck to my 2-drink max, no seconds and I worked out for an hour when I first got up. Two indicators of victory - I didn't have to change into sweats post-feast and I was only up 1 pound this morning. :)

Hope you are all enjoying the holiday weekend. :)

karyn, looks like you did great.

I'm back on program. Eating right and exercising. I feel pretty good about the holidays. Last night we put our Christmas tree up and I wrapped gifts for 4 hrs. My DD decorated the fireplace. Haven't put up outside lights yet.

I found out Thanksgiving that we are going to have another grandbaby. Our 2nd oldest step-daughter is due in June. They are a very happy couple. She graduates RN school on Dec. 7th. She is the one that just got married in July and they were planning a baby from the start. LOL, it worked.

I didn't have to put on sweats on Thanksgiving either. Actually I kept my tight body shaper on, it would have been too uncomfortable to over-eat in that thing. lol, it was a good strategy.

11/27 I am having a very hard time in my personal life right now. I am depressed and eating very little. I can't find the energy to exercise. I am sad and tearful. My wt. is the only thing that I am able to control for now and it has stayed the same since last week. I have not been sleeping much at all. If this continues, I'm going to see my Dr. I really worry that anti-depressants might cause my wt. to spike and I can't handle that happening.

Oh Lily! :hug: Don't fret just yet! There are normal everyday ordinary reactional depressions that pass with time. There's HOLYMOLY bouts of the blues ... don't be countin your chickens before they hatch. Antidepressants aren't for everyone. And they get an awful lot of bad press.

No matter how this turns out, you have the tools to get right back to where you are -er- fitter even. In your very smart little pointed head, you know that fat doen't build itself out of thin air and there just aren't that many calories in a pill. They may or may not mess with your metabolism a bit but hey ... you've figured it out once ...

Thanks Susan, I am having marital problems and things are getting worse. I don't think it's something that will be solved quickly. I have suggested counseling and he is willing to go. But, I don't hold much hope as he doesn't think there is a problem.

You are right though about the med's. I'm the only one I know that has ever lost a lot of weight on prednisone. I learned that the pills weren't causing the weight problem, what I ate was causing the huge gains. Thanks for reminding me of this. I'm sure other med's would be the same, if steroids are like that.

Thanks for responding, I really don't have anyone to talk to.

Lilybelle:
I'm sorry things aren't going so well for you right now. When feelings like that happen, I try to remember that there have been other times in my life where I couldn't see the end of the tunnel. However, the tunnel usually does end, and at that point I realize that even though I previously hadn't been able see anything positive in the future, that somehow, I made it through. I'm sure it's hard to see the future right now. I hope that things turn around for you as soon as possible. I don't know the specific situation, but try to do what you can to make things better --if it's within your control. Try to analyze the situation from an outsider's point of view -- sometimes are minds magnify problems and make us feel even worse. Then, remember that with time, things may be different than they are now.

(((Hugs Lily)))) I don't "know" you that well, but I sure know that feeling. I'll be thinking of you.

Thanks for the support ladies. I need it right now. I can see an end of the tunnell and it's not a happy one. No problem with eating that's for sure, I'm just not hungry really. I feel distant to everything and everyone right now.
He didn't call a counselor today like he was supposed to do. I'm sure he's trying to just blow it off.I haven't said anything to my kids. I was hoping that with counseling that things would improve and I didn't want to get them upset.

:hug: Think like a giraffe - keep your chin up ;) :hug:

:hug: Lily, I hope you can work things out with your husband. If he is not calling a counselor maybe you can do it and just tell him when and where he needs to be?

Karynlee - congrats on the little black dress! This year I had one occasion to dress up, and I actually bought a little red dress! :o I had to wear a shaper under it though since the fabric showed my belly button.

We survived Thanksgiving okay . . . Went for a walk Thursday and Friday mornings, ate too much Thursday but not too much Friday. Saturday we drove up to the Chicago area for a second Thanksgiving with friends, but when we were going home Sunday we stopped at the Indiana Dunes national lakeshore for some hiking to make up for it (my hamstrings are sore from scrambling up that big sand dune! It's hard to climb up sand!). Yesterday it was back to our regular workout schedule with a half hour on the stair climber for me and the treadmill for my fiance. I saw him running a little, which is good, since he was afraid to after he hurt his knee a while back (hurt his knee because he had been jogging for 30 minutes on the treadmill and then decided to go jog for TWO HOURS outside without working up to it). I know he wasn't getting a very good workout walking, even with the incline turned up, since it takes a lot more effort for him to break out in a sweat than me.

I need to get moving on getting us a membership at a real gym. At the apartment complex gym, the stair climber I was using has a messed up clock (the seconds tick much faster than they should so it's hard to keep track of how long you have been on), all three stationary bikes are broken, the elliptical squeaks like crazy, and the treadmills sound like airplanes taking off. I don't really know how to ask for info on the phone though -- what do you say when you are calling a new gym? I've always used my university gyms but now I'm finally in the real world. :p

Thanks everyone. I have devised a plan to pay off my car. I feel better just knowing that I am planning for the worst. If he hasn't called and set up counseling by the time he gets off work today, I'll do it myself. Kids are smart. My son talked to me this morning, he knows what is going on without me saying a word. I do have my son's support in whatever decision I make.

Gotta run to pay my electric bill. I went to pay it Friday and they were closed for the holiday. Totally forgot to pay it yesterday. Being in the dark, wouldn't be much fun. I 'm not feeling romantic to say the least. LOL

Glad to hear you a bit brighter, Lily. :hug: Having a plan sounds good. Now where have I heard that before? :?: :)

Last night I had problems with very sharp chest pain and massive sweating. I didn't go to hospital figured it was stress. I seem OK this morning, but am going to try to see my Dr. today if he can fit me in. I haven't slept well in several days or eaten much. My clothes are very baggy.
My DH has already told many people at his work that I "kicked him out", so I expect he plans to leave tomorrow when he gets paid. I would have preferred going to counseling, but he doesn't seem to want to make the effort.

:hug: Lily. Thinking of you.

Lily, I'm so, so sorry about DH. I'm glad that you're getting the pains checked out just to be sure. Let us know what you find out, OK?

We're always here for you, in any way that we can help. :hug:

Oh Lilly :hug: :hug: :hug: You're a trooper, things'll get better.

Please Lily, know that I think of you often ... I just don't know what to say.

Paperclippy,

Regarding a gym membership... try writing down what you feel you need from the gym (equipment, hours, classes, childcare, etc). Call around and find out what the local gyms are saying regarding their rates and amenities. Go visit the most promising. My personal advice: pick the one closest to home or work... it will be much easier to "just do it." Also, go when they're busy (usually 7-10 am and 4-7 pm) and see if the equipment you need is available. One more thing, you DEFINITELY can pit two gyms against each other and negotiate a lower price. In my town there are two of the same gym and they actually fought for my membership! I ended up with a great deal.

Hope this helps.

Lindy

Hi Lilly,

I've just been reading about your marital problems. What can I say ??? I was in the same boat last year, devastated when XH told me he had another and would continue his life with her. However, no matter how broken I was, I did start to plan ahead, same as you, to cope without him. AND I DID. I have learned an enormous lot in the last year, most important that I can handle much more than I thought. Much more than XH thought, and my health care advisors actually commented on how remarkable my psychological health improved much once the guy was out of the house. My children were a big help, having to provide day to day care gave a lot of structure that I needed.

Lilly, you will manage. I am sure that you will pull through. I received an enormous amount of support from this board, and we are here for you.

One last word that might help...when I was in this situation, I really benefited from the mindfullness meditation excercises and the book "the full catastrophe living" of Kabat-Zinn. The meditation excercises were a big help.

Lilly, just keep on breathing. You just have to take it 5 minutes at a time. And if that is too overwhelming, you only have to take it 1 minute at a time.

Keep it up girl,
rabbit

Thanks everyone, I went to see my family Dr. today. He basically said I'm crazy. I was so pi@@ed at him that I tried to walk out. He did do an EKG and it was OK. He said he's never seen anyone lose as much wt. as me without being on drugs. He ordered a urine test and I asked the nurse why. She said "for a drug test". I was furious. I don't do drugs. I did the test just to show him, but I will never go back to him again! I didn't appreciate this crap on top of what I'm going through. I told him that I was furious and I'd never be back.
I took my son to him last winter for pneumonia. He sent me out of the room and questioned my son for 30 min's on drugs and venereal diseases. My son was furious and had already refused to ever see him again.
I'm now in the market for a new family Dr.

Lilybelle: his behavior is so absurd that it is almost unbelievable. What a terrible doc! He's probably billing your insurance for the test, too! I'm so sorry that you had to have that experience. I remember you said you live in an area without many close by docs...probably the only reason why this guy is still able to have a practice! How awful!

Lily, was this the doctor you had the issue with before? I remember something like he was one of the few around and you didn't want to report him for his behavior. Am I remembering correctly? Perhaps the time has come. You've got enough to deal with right now without having that kind of thing on top of it.

Anne

It's the same Doctor. He's a quack. Previously he accused me of using diet pills. Today he flat out asked if I'm on Meth. What a jerk. I told him that he has treated me like an idiot. I wasn't kind with my words. I have been an RN for over 20 yrs. and would never take illegal drugs. He told me my chest pain was totally "psychosomatic" after I chewed him out for accusing me of using drugs. He also told me that "there won't be anywhere to put a new liver in you, since you've had so many surgeries". I told him, they'll put it where my current liver is at. He was mad that I had had 3 surgeries this past yr. and each of these are the ones he sent me to a surgeon for. 2 were hernia repairs with bowel adhesions and the other was a bowel obstruction. He said that adhesions are totally normal and that I didn't need them fixed. What was I supposed to do, tell the surgeon, "oh, by the way, just fix the hernias and leave them adhesions alone, they're normal". Before, I got angry, I had told him a little of the stress I'm having at home and figured this might be why I had been having chest pain, which is totally something new for me. He offered the advice that "I've seen your husband stand by you, no matter how sick you are, so you should be willing to forgive anything that he has done".

Oh. my. Lord. Report this guy if only to make you feel better. Argh!! I am so sorry he treated you that way. I wish I could have been there to let loose on the guy. Like someone said Lily, keep breathing!

Oh you should definitely report that nerd! I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with docs - they at least should be "on your side" :hug: