Regarding a gym membership... try writing down what you feel you need from the gym (equipment, hours, classes, childcare, etc). Call around and find out what the local gyms are saying regarding their rates and amenities. Go visit the most promising. My personal advice: pick the one closest to home or work... it will be much easier to "just do it." Also, go when they're busy (usually 7-10 am and 4-7 pm) and see if the equipment you need is available. One more thing, you DEFINITELY can pit two gyms against each other and negotiate a lower price. In my town there are two of the same gym and they actually fought for my membership! I ended up with a great deal.
I've just been reading about your marital problems. What can I say ??? I was in the same boat last year, devastated when XH told me he had another and would continue his life with her. However, no matter how broken I was, I did start to plan ahead, same as you, to cope without him. AND I DID. I have learned an enormous lot in the last year, most important that I can handle much more than I thought. Much more than XH thought, and my health care advisors actually commented on how remarkable my psychological health improved much once the guy was out of the house. My children were a big help, having to provide day to day care gave a lot of structure that I needed.
Lilly, you will manage. I am sure that you will pull through. I received an enormous amount of support from this board, and we are here for you.
One last word that might help...when I was in this situation, I really benefited from the mindfullness meditation excercises and the book "the full catastrophe living" of Kabat-Zinn. The meditation excercises were a big help.
Lilly, just keep on breathing. You just have to take it 5 minutes at a time. And if that is too overwhelming, you only have to take it 1 minute at a time.
Thanks everyone, I went to see my family Dr. today. He basically said I'm crazy. I was so pi@@ed at him that I tried to walk out. He did do an EKG and it was OK. He said he's never seen anyone lose as much wt. as me without being on drugs. He ordered a urine test and I asked the nurse why. She said "for a drug test". I was furious. I don't do drugs. I did the test just to show him, but I will never go back to him again! I didn't appreciate this crap on top of what I'm going through. I told him that I was furious and I'd never be back.
I took my son to him last winter for pneumonia. He sent me out of the room and questioned my son for 30 min's on drugs and venereal diseases. My son was furious and had already refused to ever see him again.
I'm now in the market for a new family Dr.
Lilybelle: his behavior is so absurd that it is almost unbelievable. What a terrible doc! He's probably billing your insurance for the test, too! I'm so sorry that you had to have that experience. I remember you said you live in an area without many close by docs...probably the only reason why this guy is still able to have a practice! How awful!
Lily, was this the doctor you had the issue with before? I remember something like he was one of the few around and you didn't want to report him for his behavior. Am I remembering correctly? Perhaps the time has come. You've got enough to deal with right now without having that kind of thing on top of it.
It's the same Doctor. He's a quack. Previously he accused me of using diet pills. Today he flat out asked if I'm on Meth. What a jerk. I told him that he has treated me like an idiot. I wasn't kind with my words. I have been an RN for over 20 yrs. and would never take illegal drugs. He told me my chest pain was totally "psychosomatic" after I chewed him out for accusing me of using drugs. He also told me that "there won't be anywhere to put a new liver in you, since you've had so many surgeries". I told him, they'll put it where my current liver is at. He was mad that I had had 3 surgeries this past yr. and each of these are the ones he sent me to a surgeon for. 2 were hernia repairs with bowel adhesions and the other was a bowel obstruction. He said that adhesions are totally normal and that I didn't need them fixed. What was I supposed to do, tell the surgeon, "oh, by the way, just fix the hernias and leave them adhesions alone, they're normal". Before, I got angry, I had told him a little of the stress I'm having at home and figured this might be why I had been having chest pain, which is totally something new for me. He offered the advice that "I've seen your husband stand by you, no matter how sick you are, so you should be willing to forgive anything that he has done".
Oh. my. Lord. Report this guy if only to make you feel better. Argh!! I am so sorry he treated you that way. I wish I could have been there to let loose on the guy. Like someone said Lily, keep breathing!
The doctor at the walk in clinic was great with my daughter. Her liver enzymes were elevated and she has pain in the right upper side of her abdomen and rib cage. He ordered an ultrasound of the gallbladder for Monday. He is planning to send her back to Oklahoma City to her pediatric gastroenterologist that did her hiatal hernia repair a few yrs. ago. This is good, because this specialist is familiar with her health problems and the heart surgery that she has had. I am so thankful that she could talk openly to this doctor and felt comfortable with him.
BTW, my doctor from yesterday had his office call me today to tell me my drug test was "negative". Go figure. LOL.
It is freezing sleet and rain everywhere here. Schools are all cancelled.
Hi lily, you are sure into the full catastrophe of life! Take it easy. Take 5 minutes to focus on your breath... now, does that make you feel better? Actually I needed the full 45 minute liedown, focussing on breath, to keep myself from worrying for 5 minutes. But it did help.
It looks like you did a good job taking care of your daughter. Bravo!
and btw, I am on St johns wort pills for my stresas and anxiety. You buy them at the supermarket here, because they are supposed not to work. but they really do a great job for me.
