Forbidden Foods
 

Hi Friends:

I have been struggling lately with binge episodes and would like some input. I seem to have fallen into an unpleasant binge-diet cycle. I have a very clean month to six weeks and then something (usually anger at the scales slow movement down) triggers a binge reaction. It can also be a number of other event such as a holiday, vacation or stressfull stituation. The scale is going up with each binge and down with each diet cycle but now the up cycle is winning. The 'diet' cycle is shorter and the 'binge cycle' longer. I am having a tough time getting back on the wagon. I am up about 20 pounds from my "goal" weight, and have maintained a 100 to 120 pound loss for about 13 years now. I have been through this before and have had to relose up to 40 pounds at one time. I also have had times of 10 to 20 pound gains. I know from the past that this behavior is not positive and that I need to stop this cycle. When I am in the diet phase I am a perfect dieter, and when I am binging I eat everything that is forbidden. A binge for me starts with the first bite of something forbidden. So how do others handle "forbidden food" issues. Do you include them in your regular menus in moderation or do you exclude them? I need to get a handle on this and appreciate all input.

Thanks,

Girl, if you get this one answered, I'd love to hear it as well. My biggest battle is when I get mad about something. If I get mad and I'm near the kitchen, I'll go to my room and lie down if I have to, get as far away from anywhere that I know has food. That usually helps. Before when I'd get mad, I'd hit the refrigerator and grab whatever in there was probably the most fattening and not quit eating til it was completely gone. I am once guilty of eating my mother's entire big bag of Wavy Lay's Barbecue potato chips in a matter of minutes because I was so p.o.'d about my computer booting me off when I'd tried to email my best friend who lives in Virginia, and the email was entirely gone. The thing was like, 2 pages long, I'd spent almost 30-45 minutes typing that thing and it was gone.

Mrs
 

Originally Posted by Reg4242:
So how do others handle "forbidden food" issues. Do you include them in your regular menus in moderation or do you exclude them?

By not beating myself up over them. By realizing that tomorrow, I get back on the wagon. By noticing when I am binging and trying to think of what might be causing it and work on the cause if possible. If too late, I just figure I can add a little more exercise if need be and get back on track with my eating. That one day of a binge won't kill years of healthy eating.

Most foods I have come to terms with, and I have overeaten almost everything at some point in my life. But, there are a few foods that I just don't bring into my house. Cheetos, Reese's Peanut butter cups, for example. I go on and off with ice cream as well. Once I get started, I don't stop until they are gone, and if I'm at all feeling like a binge, I'm in serious trouble. I will occasionally get them in portion controlled servings away from the house, like a vending machine or a single candy bar somewhere. With ice cream, I can substitute. For example, I'll get low cal fudge bars or something similar and that will give me what I'm looking for without triggering a binge.

I have occasionally been able to turn a binge onto something healthy. I still don't feel really pleasant after eating an entire head of cauliflower or bunch of grapes, but at least the damage is more limited.

Exercise was extremely helpful too. Fighting stress. Feeling like I was doing something positive and non-weight oriented. Even just killing time, sometimes.

In terms of preventing binges at all, I have absolutely no idea. I do know for me they come in bunches and consistent good eating helps, but even if I'm doing everything right and there are no obvious stressors, once in a while, something sets off. Knowing that there is a cycle and it will end really helps. If I start feeling hopeless about it, that I just don't have any power over it, seems to make it last longer. Once I get to the attitude that, if you can't beat it, why bother, it is very damaging. And I know now that a temporary loss of control isn't a permanent one, and the world isn't going to end. Sometimes at the bad points I have to constantly remind myself of that, but I KNOW it now like I never did before, and I KNOW I'll be OK, and that really helps. Sometimes there is some damage to clean up, not the greatest, but I can do that too.

Gina, with your impressive (and very long) maintenance history, you are going to be OK too. I know it will be hard, and keep coming back for support, but hang in there!

:grouphug:

Anne

keep it out of the house
 

i know this is a hard one to do if you have family that want these things, but i just work very hard to have nothing but healthy food in the house. we have no cookies, no cake, no bars and sometimes chips since hubby still eats these (luckily i don't like chips).

i find that if it is there, i do eat it. especially when i feel sad or stressed. on the other hand i keep low cal sweet things on hand, in case i need something sweet. i think yogurt is just sweet enough. or a couple peices of candy to curb that sweet tooth.

but for me i find the best way, is to rid the cupboards and fridge of forbidden foods. i guess i'm lucky (well, not lucky, since i want a child very badly since losing two pregnancies) that i have no children in the house that want these sweets and a husband who would rather eat a steak than a bar or cookies.

I think this is one of the major issues for many of us. I echo what others have said about keeping danger foods out of the house. Note that I didn't say "forbidden foods." A lot of people are immediately drawn to food that they've put on the forbidden list -- an automatic rebellion. Therefore one strategy is to emphasize that NO food is truly forbidden. Does this mean I keep peanut butter and tortilla chips and ice cream in the house? NO. Does it mean that I have an allottment of chocolate every day, or that I have a Krispy Kreme every week so I don't feel "deprived?" NO. What it does mean is that I allow myself the possibility that I COULD have those foods if I really really wanted them and if I feel I can control them -- the latter point being very important for us compulsives. I haven't tried to build some uber-diet that bans all refined starches or trans fats or MSG or dairy or high fructose corn syrup or non-organic produce or ... I have a very well-rounded, avoid-the-worst-evils-whenever-possible-and-stick-to-your-calories-and-nutrient-balance-as-much-as-possible plan. I have no illusions that I will ever, ever be a perfect eater, even in terms of calories. That's WAY too much pressure, and that can lead to throwing in the towel completely.

It's that all-or-nothing attitude that's a killer. When you see the world in black and white, as compulsives do, you are either perfect or a failure, on a diet or binging. Where's the middle ground? Where's "doing OK most of the time" and "leading a reasonably healthy lifestyle?" Those get lost in the mix when we're working so hard to live up to unreasonable expectations of absolute perfection. What happens to your LIFE when you are so rigid, so unforgiving, so unyielding?

Here's the thing: After a lifetime of being seriously overweight, I'm finally ALMOST at a normal weight. This happened starting at the age of 39, when I weighed DOUBLE what I weigh now. One of the key realizations I had was that I could not diet in the traditional sense. Sure, I follow a very well-known commercial plan, I have a printed menu I use as a guide, I count exchanges, etc. However, the difference this time is that I finally understood that whatever I did to lose weight was how I would live the rest of my life. I had gotten to the point where I craved balance and health more than a skinny body OR indulgent eating. I wanted to find a way of eating that I could live with for the rest of my life, that would allow me to lose SOME weight for the sake of health and help free me from the prison of all-you-can-eat buffets. So, with those goals in mind -- rather than going on a "diet" to "lose weight" -- I started. And while I've had lapses, I have never ever eaten nearly as much as I would have previously. True, when I started I DID follow my plan to the letter, but always with the idea that I was going through a retraining period, that I was learning to appreciate healthy food and portions. I am such a strong compulsive that having one bite of unhealthy foods would just set up a powerful craving. I was better off not having any and let those taste preferences wither a bit. But, I never told myself those foods were off limits permanently! I just needed to go through boot camp and starve off the old habits while I built new ones.

I think if you see the healthy eating as abnormal and the binge (or simple unhealthy overeating) as normal, that makes it really hard to get back on track. The diet is a temporary punishment to get the fat off. On the other hand, if you try to look at the healthy eating as the new "normal" and the overeating as an aberration, that helps. Honestly, after being at this for almost 4 years, I always feel RELIEF when I get back to my plan after a lapse! I feel that my life has come back into balance.

*whew* OK ... one more thing ... you can have all the safeguards and "right thinking" in the world, but until you find a way to deal with the emotions that are leading you to binge, the binge will always sit on your shoulder. You've used food as a coping mechanism, a drug. So, you take the food away. Now what? You're still left with the bad things in life that happen, the negative emotions you feel, and no tools to cope with. YOU HAVE TO FIND NEW COPING TOOLS. It will take time to find out what works -- exercise, cleaning house, journaling, meditation, working on a hobby, hanging a punching bag in the garage and whaling on it unmercifully, whatever. Another thing I think people completely overlook is anger and stress management. Is there something or someone that just pushes your buttons every time? What can you do to manage your response, so that the need for coping doesn't even come up? Again, this sort of turnaround takes time, you just have to keeping thinking about it and working at it.

P.S. OK I lied -- one MORE thing ... you might want to pick up a copy of the book The Thin Books. I found an enormous amount of insight and wisdom that has really helped me deal with my compulsiveness. Some compulsives DO have to have forbidden foods because those things are such strong triggers or they still have to live in a black-and-white world. I'm not necessarily advocating that, but this book can help you understand a little more about how your brain works and how to possibly head off a binge before it happens.

Try to find what you like
 

Hi,

Very good thread! I also totally agree with the logo "Do not bring trigger foods into the house" - it actually benefits both you and your family. Often I crave something nobody in the house craves - guess what - I will always finish what I bought, which means all brownies from the bag are going to end up as inches on my hips and pounds on my scale. I even went as far as throwing leftovers from the birthday cakes my kids had this year - none of them will eat leftovers after the party - so this year even though I bought smallest cakes available, we still had leftovers and I smeared the icing on my garbage can so that it will actually look really gross and I will not regret it (it worked BTW) :lol: .

Other thing which Funniegrrl mentioned is to take your mind off the food. Like you know that you sometimes is more prone to binging - like when you are stressed, tired, hungry, etc. In my case I can take care of NEVER be hungry, but tired and stressed usually come by themselves. I noticed recently that I tend to overeat from stress when I have nothing to care about or no interesting things to do. What or who I care or what I do changes with time, but I can give you examples of last year and this year solutions which prevented my from gaining weight...

Last year stresses: having teen daughter, changing job, husband changed 3 jobs, having hard time selling house, moving - so 3 kids change schools and day cares, cat going thru hard time adjusting to move and attacking another cat, getting new dog with separation anxiety, I am chronically anemic, not having enough money - I should have put this one first...

Solutions: instructed yoga classes - from 4 to 1 per week, participated in runs at work - twice a week, took obedience classes with my dog, every Sat and Sun walk the dog for 1.5 hour at 7 in the morning which gave me time to think (and no food in the woods), once a week swimming with my co-workers, participated in 100 km mountain bike tour and finished - but cut it to about 90km or so :dizzy:

This year stresses: Teen daughter, even less money :devil: , dog with less separation anxiety, hubby lost his job, my company going thru aquisition, house renovations...

Solutions: Running twice a week till May, biking to work 3 times/week, hiking every weekend, walking dog for 1.5 hours at 7 in the morning on weekends, starting agility with dog and actually becoming member of agility club - :) , swimming, having buddy to go to the gym and she is so inspirational :D , signing up for triathlon in Aug and 100km mountain bike ride in Aug which I plan to finish and do 100km this time...

My point in that you have to have your favourite things to do... Like some of them change but some of them stay. As soon as you are stressed, the light in your brain should point to your favourite activity, not to the pantry or kitchen. And in order for it to work, you should NOT have favourite triggers in the pantry anyways.

Example: when hubby announced that he lost his job and even though I did binge on what was available - which was not much ;) , later I had to go for agility class and then bike to work next day and go for a swim, and all of it could not be cancelled because I want to finish my triathlon - so somehow I got thru it and I felt so much better about myself. It was really first time when I actually imagined this light bulb and saw that it is on - and it just directed me in the right direction to the right decision... And amazingly enough I even lost some weight that week, which was a reward too...

Hope this helps,
Sandy.

I loved funniegrrl's post. She hit on everything I wanted to say. Especially this:


I still have occaisional times when I know that nothing but satisfying the craving will suffice. But I've learned that 1) I'm going to do it no matter how many diversionary tactics I try or substitute foods I try first and 2) it's a temporary aberration that will last usually 1 day, then I'm back on track. There's damage, but it's minimal. I don't like the way I feel physically, but at this point I don't beat myself up anymore. It's just me. 98% of the time I do fine. I know when I'm eating that bag of m&m's I'll be right back on track the next day.

Like funniegrrl, I never cheated while I was trying to lose weight initially. I was the "perfect" dieter. In reality, if we continued that, we'd all fade away. I had a long list of forbidden foods at that time. Now, I think of them as foods I choose not to eat. Every once in a while, I make the choice to eat them. I'm quite conscious of choosing to give into the urge to binge on a food and why I'm doing it. Being able to stop once the immediate craving is satisfied is what keeps the damage in the 1-2 pound range.

Mel

Originally Posted by Mel:
Now, I think of them as foods I choose not to eat. Every once in a while, I make the choice to eat them.

YUP! Even when I was in my boot-camp phase, I still kept that in mind -- not that those foods were forbidden per se, but that I was CHOOSING not to eat them in order to retrain my taste buds. It wasn't about being perfect and not cheating (a word I never ever use to describe my eating any more), but about learning that I could, indeed, live without those foods and getting used to the tastes and textures of healthier foods without the distraction of the fattier, sweeter, saltier, starchier foods I had come to prefer.

Thank you all for your input. I do know the "ropes" but some times they get slippery & my grip gets loose. Thanks for the refresher. I am hoping that seeing the cycle will help me to break out of it. I am aware that I am in a dangerous curve in my journey and I don't want to crash. Your tips and ideas are all important and valuable to me.

Nothing to add to these wonderful posts (Funniegrrl, yours is a keeper, for sure - I need to figure out how to add it to The Best Of ... sticky). Just a :grouphug: for Gina.

Great thread, awesome posts and insight, I cannot add anything either, you gals have said it all... through all the reading I kept saying ''yep, yep, uh huh, :yes:'' ... and also THANK YOU for starting this thread Gina, I've been in a bit of a rut this week too... so :grouphug: to you ....

Hi:
funniegrrl I just want to tell you that I order the Thin Book and appreciate your response. Thanks for the hugs guys.