"I Thought Getting (Close) To Goal Was The End ...

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  • I heard an awful lie today, just horrific. The person telling it should have been sent to time out for 20 minutes for speaking such an untruth. Too bad I can't send myself to time out cause it was me that told the lie. After almost a month of poor eating, I realized that my "friend" is here today. I had the nerve to say that i must have been eating poorly due to PMS and it was okay to have another ****** (wont post the bad food item but feel free to fill in the blank).

    What in the WORLD??? I feel the need to repeat to myself something that I had to learn while pledging my sorority in college - "Excuses are monuments of nothingness. They build bridges to nowhere. Those who use them are incompetent and masters of noone." Okay, now I will drink water and strive to do better.

  • V-melo to you! And CONGRATS on your weight loss!! This is just a low in the never ending battle of this LIFEstyle...

    Here's an idea for your slim DH and kids, I have a slim DH and teenagers too... I was doing the same as you were at one time buying the treats we all liked and "thinking" I could have some in moderation... NOT!! I just can't do that. My mother used to tell me "Why can't you just have one!" ...So now when I go out for groceries I do NOT buy any treats... Everyone makes a face when I come back from groceries I just and say "You should have come or go with Dad next time... " When they do come along with me I put the bags with the junk on the edge of the stairs to the basement and now they know it goes to the dungeon fridge... IF I go down there and have something I ask DH to hide it somewhere else... It's worked very well and I must say: "Out of sight, Out of mind!!" works very well for me, MOST of the time... it has also helped the kids because they are naturally lazy they sometimes don't bother going down there to get their own junk ...

    Seek, Meg, Mel, Karen, Tiki, et al.. you guys almost had me reading all those wonderful advise posts... Keep up the great work all of you!
  • I don't know if I should post here because technically I'm not at goal yet, and from my post (the one to which Meg refers) you can tell I'm going through a rough spot. However, I just want to let you guys know that it's 7:41 p.m., & I've had a GREAT day! I've eaten "clean," and each time I was tempted not to, I thought about the great advice I read from all you guys, and it helped me resist. I'm planning to repeat this success tomorrow.

    BTW, Tiki, I know just what you're talking about. Sometimes I think that I use the usual PMS cravings to excuse a whole lot of bad eating.
  • I live with a constantly ravenous 13 yr old who grows an inch a day and is thin, and my "used to be able to eat anything" husband who is discovering that life after 50 is a little different, but nothing like what I am up against. Our rule, which has benefited everyone, is that they can get whatever they want, but they have to go out to get it. If they want ice cream, they have to go out to DQ or buy individual serving sizes. Same with any other junk. It has improved the food environment for me, and as Ilene says, they are basically lazy and sometimes it just isn't worth the bother to drive somewhere for junk. The only current problem is that my son has learned how to make cookies....
  • Yeah, my DH was Mr. "What's the problem, why can't you just eat less?" until I got HIM on the scale, and it read 250! So now he finally gets it. Can you say "a river in Egypt?"

    Vmelo-- maybe you can show your DH this thread, or have him read the Men's Corner stuff, then he might think twice about bringing home the Haagen Dazs...

    At least put the bad stuff in a plain opaque plastic bag-- the packaging is carefully designed by teams of marketing specialists to make you want to rip through it like a ravening wind...
  • Last night I sat down with the crew and told them that I could NOT have there stuff where I could find it. They hid it in their rooms so hopefully, the out of sight, out of mind will help me out too. I've also acknowledged another one of my triggers that I will have to get away from - Bubble Gum! I love the stuff, go through about 2 big packs of it a day. It's sugarless but still is sweet and leaves me craving other stuff so....no more popping and blowing bubbles. Sigh!

  • I'll start again Monday...

    I have said that about 20 times in the last 2-2.5 years. Starting again Monday has brought my from being a very slim 145lb woman to a 162lb woman (and I think my weight was up to about 170 or so until very recently).. I am lucky I wear my weight well and am still in the single sizes, but I am unhappy that I let myself gain the weight.

    I have made so many excuses in the past couples of years... "I am stressed"... "It's the holiDAYS" (as in a week of binging)... "I can't help myself"... "my boyfriend likes going to restaurants".. "I am hypoglycemic and can't help it". "I had a hard week I deserve a pound of chocolate".. "it's exam time".. "I am pmsing" ... "The pill makes me hungry"...

    I could probably add more in too....

    I was "lucky" after I lost weight... I kept losing, so I kept adding food... I was REALLY active, had an active job. My weight dropped to 140 (too thin for me) and I could basically eat what I wanted. It didn't last... but it gave me bad habits...

    I used to grocery shop and rationalize that I can have my binge foods in moderation and that I would be teaching myself coping skills to learn to be around these foods without subcoming... Never managed that...

    I have low blood sugar that spikes easily and then drops.. I now know which foods causes the most problems... physiologically I knew my dangers, yet I ate one thinking I would be okay, I wasn't and then blame my binge on being hypoglycemic. The main thing though, I should have resisted the initial urge to eat it. It was my choice to eat just one that turned into ten.

    Life isn't going to always be easy and what I have to teach myself is that eating 3 chocolate bars isn't going to make my problems go away... it will in fact add to my rpoblems.

    Do I feel like a failure... Not overly, but occasionally yes, I know these problems are common and it is a struggle for 99.9% of us at some point (have you met the .1% who has lost weight and never struggled ever?).

    Have I gotten back on track? You betcha... I evaluated what I was eating and determined my "good days" were even leading me to have problems.. I heard if you're hypoglycemic you're suppose to eat like a diabetic. My doctor told me to eat 6 times a day. First of all I got into that habit, though still had problems with binging. Then I really started to evaluate the food I was eating. TOO much sugar was the reality which in turn made things worse for me. I had seen many people have success with the South Beach diet, so I decided to try it even though I was enormously reluctant to do phase 1 (eliminating starches and fruits). I succeeded during that and now my sugar cravings are almost non-existent... For me this is VERY important! I am now on phase 2 of SBD... trying, learning slowly what I can cope with... Realizing I really need to stick with reduced sugar eating for the rest of my life.

    I have to make my own motivational milestones now. I compliment myself when I am active each day. People general don't comment on a weight loss that brings someone from a size 9 to a size 5/6.. I have accepted that. I look at my physical well-being. I had a bread basket on a table at a restaurant last night and I didn't even think about it being there... That is a huge victory for me.

    Yet I am also looking at things differently... I am enjoying the process. Working out hasn't been a huge problem for me, but I am pushing myself more. I am smiling when my muscle seems to be reappearing. I just have to realize, the process is for life.

    I am also lucky my partner is super supportive of this too.

    There's my ramblings... You guys are so eloquent...


  • You've got to Accentuate the Positive...
    Yah, I know I've said that before. But I tend to be a positive person in "real life"...although God knows, I wasn't ALWAYS. Do I slip up? SURE. But I pick myself up, dust myself off, and get right back on the horse!

    Now, I know that at 5'4" tall, I *should* weigh in the 120's-130's. But ya know...for me, that ain't gonna happen. Last time I got down below 145, my periods stopped for MONTHS. I was concerned enough to go to see my PCP who ordered a pelvic ultrasound. NOTHING. Not that I enjoy TOM, but still - to me, that's the body's way of saying 'everything's working!' even though it's pretty messy...so I stay around 150ish and that's my happy weight. Heck, if I can wear a size four at that weight, then I'm a happy camper.

    On "red light foods": I've often recommended the book Diary of a Fat Housewife by Rosemary Green. I know that several folks here have read it - Rosemary struggled with her weight for decades, due to poor eating habits established as a child. As the back cover of the book states, at 17 she was 'a slim beauty queen'. She got married at 18, promptly became pregnant for the first time and started gaining weight. In reading the book, it's obvious she has a RAGING addiction to food, particularly sweets. In fact, near the end of the book, she gave up chocolate with the words "It is simply not on my menu anymore. Never again." She also stated in the extra chapter in the paperback edition that she NEVER goes grocery shopping alone, in fact her husband does all the grocery shopping - and they have a locked cupboard in the kitchen for all the 'red light foods' that everyone in the family - EXCEPT for her - has the combination to. Sounds a bit extreme, but hey, ya gotta do what works for you.

    For me...well...if Jim did the grocery shopping, frankly, our kitchen would look like Old Mother Hubbard's cupboard! He is NOT a shopper. I follow the old adage of 'not shopping when hungry' - although I don't generally bring a list with me - and stay out of the aisles that are filled with my red light foods - the candy/snack section, the bakery, that sort of thing. I've memorized the layouts of the three grocery stores I frequent so I can zip through there with no problems. Now I KNOW that Jim eats a lot of crap. But at least he doesn't bring it home with him...so no biggie.

    The Overcoming Overeating theory of 'keep your trigger foods well stocked around the house and give yourself permission to eat as many as you want and then they'll become less appealing' just DOES NOT WORK for me, any more than if I were an alcoholic or drug addict and decided to keep bottles of whiskey or crack pipes all over the house, thinking that I would not be addicted to them as much. Doesn't work for this gal. And THAT is why I really don't do Free Days...what I do instead is 'loosen the reins' a tad during the weekends. I don't go to the grocery store as I used to and buy pints of Ben & Jerrys, cake, cookies, corn dogs and spend 12 hours at home stuffing myself like a Peking duck - what Jim and I will do instead is go to a taqueria for lunch and I'll have a chicken burrito (whole beans, grilled chicken, rice, lettuce, tomatoes, and lots of salsa!) or to Red Robin if we're in a hamburger mood - have a hamburger or turkey burger with iced tea. Sometimes a frozen yogurt from Yumi Yogurt - better choice than Baskin-Robbins. That suits me just fine!

    Like Ali, I'm enjoying the process. I do ENJOY food - it's almost illegal not to be somewhat of a 'foodie' here in the Bay Area - but I also enjoy my 'new' (is it still new after almost 14 years??), more active life - that's worth more to me that a moment's taste of something...

    Sorry to ramble again!
  • Wow, these are the postings I needed today! Okay, here comes the truth and how it hurts to tell it...I started WW in Jan. 03 at 209#, in Jan. 04 I made goal by losing 61#, weighing in at 148 (I'm 5'7") and I fit into a size 8. I was getting so many compliments...I loved it and felt wonderful! When I made Lifetime I felt that I was done and didn't have to watch every bite, I ate what ever I wanted, and it was sooo bad. I felt awful! But I would tell myself, "I'm still down 50#, etc." Today I weighed in at 173#!!! I am up 25# from my goal, I have lost only 36# from my highest weight-it doesn't seem like any loss at all!

    Today I have been drinking water and counting points again! Baby steps, but with your help I can do this again...summer is coming and I want to feel light and healthy...thanks all!
  • Such great inspirations along with the thought that I am NOT alone!

    Ali -- Nope, I have never met that .1% that never struggle either...

    There seems to be a concensus here that we ARE FOOD ADDICTS... We cannot have one and be happy....Good comparisson made, that someone who is an alcoholic or heroin addict and keeping the forbidden booze or drugs around, they can not do that well neither can we!

    Hi Ideal! Welcome! Hang around and we'll help all we can!

    I love these ramlbling posts!

    Gotta go to the gym!

  • There are no free days for me either. I do however, let myself have a free meal sometimes, now that I have reached my goal. Especially when we plan to have Chinese. I know that I love it so much that I would rather not go at all than try to eat OP when I'm there. I have also dealt with and accepted the fact that I cannot have candy and rich desserts, etc. because if I start, I will not stop. Most of the time I am okay with that and really don't miss them, but every once in a while it really just gets to me. Why can't I have a "normal" relationship with food? Why does it affect us so differently than it does others? I absolutely hate the fact that my daughter already has these same problems and that I am the one who passed this on to her. I just hope that I can set a better example for her. I really try to stress the importance of being healthy and exercise rather than dieting and losing weight.

    I know that this is going to be a lifelong struggle, however unfair it may be. But maintenance is just a continuation of the journey and you still have to take it one day (sometimes one minute) at a time. The way I see it, the things I've had to give up is not such a bad trade off compared to what I would have faced if I hadn't given them up.

  • Ohhh Jack, Jack, Jack... (rolling eyes here...) what are WE GOING TO DO WITH YOU?!?

    I thought EVERYONE knew what a free day was. Shoot, the whole Free Day concept was what attracted me to BFL in the first place. I mean...what chronic volume eater (such as yours truly!) wouldn't be THRILLED with the idea of having a WHOLE FREAKING DAY of permitted pigging out?

    I've said this before...but in retrospect the first thing that comes to mind is a scene from that famous Simpsons episode, "King Size Homer" - ya know, the one where he has to gain about 100 pounds or so to become disabled so he can work from home?!?

    Dr. Nick: Hi everybody!
    Homer+Bart: Hi Doctor Nick!
    Nick: Now there are many options available for dangerously
    underweighted individuals like yourself. I recommend a slow
    steady gorging process combined with assal horizontology.
    Homer: [pensive] Of course.
    Nick: [points to a chart] You'll want to focus on the neglected
    food groups such as the whipped group, the congealed group
    and the chocotastic!
    Homer: What can I do to speed the whole thing up, Doctor?
    Nick: Well...be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with
    bread, use poptarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew bacon,
    Bart: You could brush your teeth with milkshakes!
    Dr. Nick: Hey, did you go to Hollywood Upstairs Medical College too?
    And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it
    against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's
    your window to weight gain. Bye bye, everybody!
    -- Bye, Dr. -- oh, forget it, "King-Size Homer"

    Cut to supermarket.

    Homer: Oh, it's a dream come true, boy. I can -- nay I must -- eat
    everything I've always wanted. Now come on, every second I'm out
    of bed I'm burning precious calories. Now get grabbing!
    -- Shopping becomes fun, "King-Size Homer"

    Homer and Bart grab assorted disgusting fattening foods and throw them
    in the shopping cart while joyful music plays. Cut to ice cream shop
    where Homer is gorging a sundae.

    Homer: [stuffing himself] Ahhh!
    Bart: Eat around the banana, Dad. It's just empty vitamins.
    -- The secret to eating a banana split, "King-Size Homer"

    Cut to health food store. Homer is stocking up on weight gain products.
    The cashier observes, "Lucky for you this stuff doesn't work."

    Cut to Krusty Burger. Homer is surrounded by empty wrappers. Bart
    offers him the last sandwich. Homer says, "I don't know. Fish
    sandwich...are you sure?" Bart rubs the sandwich on the wall until the
    wall turns clear, which is all the excuse Homer needs. A bird flies
    into the newly clear wall.
    (man, I love quoting the Simpsons...)

    Just to simplfy things for Jack and those of us here who haven't memorized the entire BFL book (such as it is...it's not like it's the size of the Governator's Encyclopedia of Modern Bodybuilding or anything like that...) here's the straight skinny right off page 91 of Body for Life...

    Your Free Day

    Six days a week, you need to follow the eating guidelines I've been telling you about in this section. And on the seventh day? Forget about them.

    I mean forget them all. Eat whatever you want. If you want to have blueberry pancakes with syrup for breakfast or a cinnamon roll with coffee or milk, that's fine. If you want a Big Mac or two for lunch, go for it. If you want a thick pizza with everything on it for dinner, be my guest. If you want apple pie and ice cream for dessert, that's okay with me.
    Then he goes on to say why it's a good thing to do the free day - upping your calories to convince your body that it's not starving, not feeling deprived, etc. His theory is also that if you have a huge gorgeout day, you'll be so miserable the next day that your free days will become less and less gorgey. Sounds good in theory, but like an alcoholic who wakes up after a booze binge with the hangover of the century and SWEARS that he'll NEVER drink again...only to do so a day or so later...it just doesn't work for some of us, especially those of us who are sugar addicts/compulsive overeaters (like me!).

    So there ya go.
  • Well today has been a clean day so far - no trips to the vending machine, opted for an egg white veggie omelette instead of the other tempting goodies in the caf. Even opted for a salad instead of turkey wrap when i realized the caf was out of grilled chicken breasts. I started semi junk craving this afternoon so I shut the demon up with a cup of decaf. I had to stop by the house and I must confess I did look in the kids snack cabinet but VOILA it was empty. Having them hide the stuff worked. It didn't even occur to me to go upstairs to hunt for it. I am missing chewing gum, but I got a date with the scale at the end of the month and I want to be my best for it.

    Cheerleading practice is tonight so lots of leg work in the way of jumps, running, and dancing. I can't wait.

    I got something noodling in my head about my annual workout then binge out that I "USED" to do. Once I get it worked out, I will share with all.

    Peace. Tiki.
  • Quote: The Overcoming Overeating theory of 'keep your trigger foods well stocked around the house and give yourself permission to eat as many as you want and then they'll become less appealing' just DOES NOT WORK for me
    DITTO, MrsJim! I think that a person like me who has been on diets since 14 & has forceably deprived myself of these things for so long would find it very difficult to approach those kinds of foods with any degree of normalcy. In 7 Secrets of Slim People, the authors claim that if you know that you can eat anything you want and you actually do eat anything you want (but only when hungry & only until satisfied & not full), that eventually those foods will lose their appeal. Iím not saying thatís not true, but if I had those foods around the house, I would obsess about them all day!