Yikes, when I look in the mirror I see Huey, Duey and Louie all rolled up in one, I see a frumpy person that no matter what I wear I look sloppy. I try not to look into mirrors. Photographs are even worse.

<sigh> it's a shame, leenie, that this is what you see. the rest of use see that you're SUCH a beauty!!!!

Mirrors are not my friends! I didn't own a full length mirror for almost 8 years and just recently bought one. I still weigh 200 pounds when I look in the mirror and that's no good at all. The skin thing is strange, too. I have managed to see the humor in it, though. I'll stand in front of the mirror and put my hands on my waist. Then I can slide my skin up and down like some bizzare sock. It makes me laugh. :dizzy:

Pictures are my saving grace. I can look at them and really see the changes I've been going through.

Hey guys,

I am new at this posting business, but I thought I'd give it a try. The reason I decided to post was because the topic at hand is one that is very dear to me. When I graduated high school, I weighed 268 pounds. Despite what I accomplished in high school mentally(3rd in my class of 667), I had ruined my body physically. Well, it has been two years to that day, and I have gone from 268 pounds to ~160. And if you think that losing weight during college is easy, you should talk to my friends. They don't call it the Freshman 15 for nothing. Despite attaining a BMI of <25, I am still 20 pounds from my goal weight, and a whole lot of muscle away from my goal build. I enjoy my new body, and I enjoy the new me....sometimes...I do not, however, enjoy what I see in the mirror anymore. I look at myself in a different way now. When I started to lose weight, I was happy with what I saw in the mirror, because I only looked at the things that I wanted to, i.e. my arms that were gaining definition, my legs that were becoming muscular, and my face that was becoming sharper and more defined. I used to enjoy looking in the mirror, but now I am afraid of it, especially when I'm naked. You see, when I got to around 180 pounds, I started to notice a few things about my body that distress me to this day: 1.)Stretch marks and 2.)Loose skin.

Okay, so I had some stretch marks when I was obese, and I had them on my stomach and love handles, and I didn't really pay much attention to them. As I started to get nearer my goal weight, however, I saw that I was gaining stretch marks everyday in new spots in my body. And when I started to get even closer to my goal weight, I saw patches of loose skin developing. Basically, my entire torso (from my neck to my waist) is covered in stretch marks. It sounds absolutely horrific, I know, and it is...The only solace I have is that they are pink/white/flesh colored, and not bright red or purple (although some are popping up in various spots). I also have stretch marks on my thighs, butt, and I am even getting them on my biceps, triceps, and pec/delt tie-in area from lifting weights. It is a very depressing business. I thought that losing weight would get me away from the stretch marks, but they have only exponentially multiplied the problem.

Anyway, as I was saying, I hate looking in the mirror, and I feel like a false advertisement during my everyday life. My friends and family compliment on how "good I look", and I nod and say thanks, but what I really want to say is, "if you only knew what was under my shirt, your impression of me would be different." It is very hard for me to stay motivated in my workouts though, because it seems that the "healthier" I get, the worse my skin condition becomes, and the more depressed I get. I know that I am healthier, and that my life is going to be longer as a result of my lifestyle changes, but to that I say, "so what?". I can't enjoy life the way I used to. When I was fat I was happy. Not with the way I looked, for sure, but I was accepting of my body back then for what it was. I was always in a good mood, always the first to laugh and smile, and always the life of the party. Now, I am turning anti-social because of my depression and I get scared everytime the summer months come around because I have to make new reasons of why I can't go swimming, or on family vacations, or even take my shirt off in front of my roommates. Stretch marks on the torso is a different business for girls. They can usually find creative ways to cover up. But me, when I'm at the beach, it is either shirt off or shirt on, no median, and I'm afraid the latter will be my choice of style for the rest of my life...Before I used to be able to hide behind my obesity as a reason for not being normal...but now I look normal, but I feel just as flawed as I used to be, if not more.

So, my question to everyone is: Has anyone ever dealt with these type of negative body image problems? Does it get any better? I am slowly accepting the fact that I am a freak, but it is very hard to give up that normal lifestyle that I thought I would attain form losing weight. I am no longer the "fat kid", but I am still trapped inside skin that makes me feel worse than I ever have.

oh trapped. after all that you've accomplished, to be burdened with this image thing is very sad. and i have good news, and maybe some not so good news for you.

the good news is that because you're so very young [trust me on this!!!!] your skin is rather elastic. it'll take some time, but you will lose much of the stretch marks and there will be SOME skin tightening over the next couple of years. yes. years. not days or weeks. and it probably won't solve the entire problem, but it WILL help

to help this process, make sure to stay hydrated. take some extra calcium. use a good quality body lotion because dry skin is more stressed.

now the not-so-good news. body dysmorphic image. we all have it to one degree or another [notice how i've been avoiding posting ANYTHING about my feelings on this topic!!!!!]. it takes quite a while for our inner view of ourselves to catch up with the outer view.

be patient. give it some time. see a therapist if you think it's getting out of hand. and frankly, you say that you're depressed over this and that you're avoiding certain activities that you love, and that you feel you're not normal. i think it's time to consider some professional help with this adjustment.

and believe me: most people just won't notice your skin!!!! they'll notice that their friend - brother - son is with them having a good time. that's what's most important.

you are not a freak. you are a wonderful strong person who has lost an enormous amount of weight and who deserves all the applause and every bit of enjoyment that you want.

please don't stop posting. many of us have dealt with this, in different ways and are STILL dealing with it...



and

Welcome to 3FC! :)

I'm not going to repeat everything that Jiff said, but I DID want to say that I'll bet your stretch marks are WAY more obvious to YOU than anyone else. I know how you feel, believe me - I started getting 'em when I was in my early teens (and I've never been preggers either BTW. Pretty horrifying, I know...but you're young enough to where you have a chance that they'll shrink up and disappear.

And I just wanted to say...that my hubby (who sees more of me than anyone else ;) ) NEVER thought the stretch marks were a big deal and never really noticed them (and this is coming from a guy who had quite a few girlfriends - lots of 'em ' SoCal beach babes' unlike yours truly - before he met me - he IS a musician after all! :lol: ) until I pointed them out. Jim's response: "yeah - what's the big deal??"

Something else he told me - EVERYONE has flaws - the 'perfect specimen' doesn't exist. Just about every single one of his previous girlfriends, even the beach bunnies, still had something or other they just could STAND about their body.

Those fitness models in magazines, the Victorias Secret gals, those are just photos - they've been airbrushed and photoshopped to look perfect. The yukky side effect of the photos is that we tend to think of that image as REAL and use it as a basis of comparision. Shoot, I'm 5'4" and I weigh 150, but I'm not about to slit my wrists over it, and yup I still have stretch marks - a lot of the mid-section ones got cut out when I had a TT, but I still have them on my boobs, my thighs, my underarms...but I'll take 'em over being obese again. Any day.

Like the old saying "Time heals all wounds" - give it time...time is on your side!

Hey guys,

It's me again...I must say, I am very impressed with the rate of response that I got from you all. I was half-expecting to be left in the dark with my post, although putting my feelings into writing has always been a good escape for me.

I must also say that yesterday was a culmination of depression from a lot of things, which is why my post was so cynical and pessimistic. Number one, I am currently in finals week (at the University of Cincinnati), and I taking a full-course load this summer as well. I am an engineering major, and UC has a wonderful co-op program that allows students to work a quarter and get outside experience, then go to school for a quarter. Unfortunately, my employer doesn't want me back until fall, so I'm stuck taking classes in the summer, which just plain stinks. Number two, my girlfriend has recently left for Europe for two months, and I won't be able to physically see her or talk to her at all. She is the only person I have ever confided in about my depression problems, and she seems to understand me, so it's like I've lost a good friend. Number three, I've pretty much been in this weight loss thing by myself (until now I guess). I've always been able to deal with my problems alone, especially about my weight, because no one I know has ever been through anything like I have. No one ever told me it was going to be like this, the way I am now...I guess these forums will help though, because maybe there are people out there like me after all :^: .

I want to thank you all for your encouraging words and support. I know it is going to take some time, but I guess I'll have somewhere to turn now to make it through the long haul. It is just depressing sometimes because I look around campus, and I still feel ugly, and flawed, and worse then I ever have. I see guys that I know haven't stepped into a gym in their lives, and eat pizza, drink beer, smoke cigarettes, and sleep all day, but look ten times better than I ever will. It just doesn't seem fair. Oh well...I have to get back to studying...I am going to look around the other forums, and see if I can get/give any input from/to them. Thanks again though :^:

Hi Trapped :wave:

I'm soooo happy you came back! I read your post early this morning I didn't have time to respond, now it's late and I still don't have much time to make it very long...I just wanted to say that everyone here who has lost a lot of weight speaks of experience and great wisdom. I've been really lucky to have met these special people, EVERY single person here has helped me tremendously and has given me so much insight and respect for the obese person.

Like Karen expressed the people who really count, the folks who love you will not see those small flaw, they will only see your inner beauty and admire you for all your great work and dedication... I so admire young ambitious people like you...

So chin up, keep coming here it's a great place for hints, help and motivation and you already know that we're quick to respond because we understand...Life isn't fair sometimes, one thing that is tho is that you are young and you started this healthy lifestyle now and your peers, believe me, will be very UNhealthy in their old age...then you'll see that maybe life is fair...

Nite everyone!! :yawn: