Welcome, Underwater!

Megan - thanks for the info. I'm going to get some on the way home. Happy birthday and anniversary!

Oh, I didn't get DSS to eat real food. That isn't happening anytime soon. I did keep DH and I from eating junk with him, though.

Welcome underwater! Love your avatar! I'm also in the Bay Area, but in the East Bay.

Welcome Underwater and a million congratulations! Wow your two picture avatars are an amazing contrast and inspiration. I actually started being with this maintenance group last year while losing over 30 pounds because I wanted to start thinking like a maintainer before I even lost the weight. The support here has been wonderful. In the past, when I got down emotionally or ate too much at a party, I would kind of give up and eventaually gain all the weight back. With the support I have received here, I've been able to stay on track even with all the times I lose focus and fall on my face. I thinki you'll find us to be a very supportive, sometimes gently confrontational in a good way, generally you'll really come to appreciate what this group can offer! So congrats again and welcome to your new life as a maintainer!!

As for me, even with all the turmoil of losing my business, both my wife and I are hanging in there emotionally and weight-wise. Losing weight slowly (which is OK) as I creep back down towards my summer weight. And BTW having a job is no more secure than having a business, lots of my friends ages 55- 63 are jobless and unemployable these days.

Megan, so we're going to have a bumper crop of sea turtles this year. One thing I'd like to do in this lifetime is see the eggs hatch and watch the small turtles crawl toward the sea. Does this happen in daylight, when seabirds can swoop down and eat them, or in the evening? I've got a neighbor named Warren who does some kind of volunteer work related to the sea turtles, and it's seasonal. Maybe he attends the hatching? I've got to ask him more about this, next time I see him at a social gathering.

I'm heading down to Orlando next week for a strategic meeting, but I know how these things work, and it's like being held captive. We'll be at the Ritz Carlton in Grand Lakes, so it's captivity in comfortable surroundings, but it's still captivity. What I would want to do is drive off to a state park & go birding. There's even an analyst who'd be willing to play hooky with me. But I'm afraid my absence will be noticed.

Oh, and Neurodoc? My father was Russian Orthodox; his father even studied in seminary to become a Russian Orthodox priest, dropped out & instead became a choir director, which is a complex undertaking in that church because their music is all chants and harmonies sung a capella. Yes, I like the food, but not enough to travel to Brooklyn to eat it, though I always do have buckwheat in my pantry.

Chris, it's good to hear from you and to hear that your weight is still trending downward, even if it is happening slowly. I hear a note of hope in your voice that I like hearing.

Underwater, welcome to the world of the maintainers. I've already commented on your avatar. I like how it shows someone who's in transition. I wish my own avatar was like that because it would accurately depict my identity. Half of me still sees herself as a fat girl while the other half of me tries to live in the present. I have a lot of days when I "feel fat" no matter what the scale says.

saef, just a reality check. It is unbelievably hot and humid in Florida at this time of year. I don't think you would enjoy going birding as much as you might think. This is a reason not to feel like you're being held captive in the Ritz-Carlton... You'll find out when you get here.

Ok, I'm going to try really hard not to beat up on myself for the next week. I just had an epic, marathon, all-evening binge session, abetted by the fact that everyone in my family is out of town (except the dog), so there were no witnesses. I haven't overeaten with this little self control in months. As usual, what did it was the wonderful feast at the Bar Mitzvah on Sat. night, giving me a taste of "forbidden freedom" followed by 2 days of restrained eating (not fasting, not even super-restrictive-under-1200-cal eating, just my standard 1500 cal/day routine) which spurred a massive pity party tonight. The standard why-can't-I-always-eat-like-that, I'm-perpetually-deprived, it's-not-fair whine in my head that I couldn't silence. And I'm "smart." Instead of binging until I hurt and can't eat anymore, I pace myself so I'm just comfortably full ALL EVENING. I bet I exceeded the calorie count of the Bar Mitzvah party (if not, I came close), and now I'm trying not to let the self-loathing overwhelm me. Every time I think I may be developing a healthier/saner attitude toward eating, I take 2 giant steps backward :>(

Jay, thanks for re-framing my view of the impending offsite meeting. So it's not really captivity that I'll be experiencing, it's actually a sanctuary from Florida's August heat and humidity. I've been looking at the hotel spa's menu of services and thinking that I may get a facial or at least a manicure while I'm there, something for de-stressing and releasing the tension.

Andrea, was there any point during that binge when you could paused, faced the fork in the road between continuing or stopping, and decided either way? My life got better when I recognized those decision points, which punctuated my longer binges at regular intervals, & accepted that I was at those moments consciously deciding one way or another. The next step was deciding to stop, but that came a lot later. You're right, a binge can be an adult female tantrum. How did you deal with your kids' tantrums when they were younger? Distraction or letting them scream it out or what?

Underwater, welcome aboard!

Bill, agree with you that the cooler weather makes being outside, and also sleeping, much more pleasant. Not sure about the ice cream, though! I've recently finished eating a lot more of it than usual, so I am hoping that makes it less attractive.

saef, welcome back! May the transition not be jarring. I have always tried not to bother those on their first day back from vacation. It just seems mean. Regarding the Russian Orthodox choir music - DS's choir performed one piece of that type; it took them four months to get it right, but when they did ... oh my.

dagmar, hang in there. Good strategy with the scale. Whatever it reads can be dealt with later.

Shannon, it's good to hear you sounding more positive. You're already back on track - it just hasn't sunk in as the way you live yet! Ditto Jen's suggestion on the foil. We've also used slices from paper towel tubes; the nice thing about them is by the end of the season they've broken down and can be tilled in. Diatomaceous earth is a STAPLE in our garden!

krampus, I think you're being very responsible by not spreading germs to your coworkers. Get better!

michele, sorry to hear about DH's knee. Nothing is fun when it hurts to move. Congrats on the upcoming anniversary!

bargoo - thinking of you and hope you're weathering your challenges!

jen - I've really enjoyed having your perspective on the thread. Looking forward to more of your wisdom!

megan, it sounds like your head is in a great spot. I've always found my best attitudes are when I'm busy. Summer colds are awful - unless you have the time to just flop outside and let the sunshine bake your head. Re tomato hornworms, we control them by hand. DS gives them a quick and messy demise, usually involving a bike tire. Boys ...

andrea, my SIL came over from Belarus, so I can appreciate your temptations. I think they have elevated sour cream to an art form! Understandable frustration with the wild evening.

chris - 'tis true, there is no such thing as security. Planning for a lack of security requires a lot of creative thinking.

Nothing much to report; we are going to Grand Rapids to do the Color Run (5K) on Saturday, and all of my cousins are coming to my house for a barbeque on Sunday. I'm sure the week will fly by!

To those who mentioned the diatomaceous earth, what does it do? I've read about it, but not much. I'm miffed with these cutworms. They don't seem to be following the normal pattern. They didn't come in when the plant was small, but showed up and mowed the top off a healthy, tall plant and are now poking into the fruit here and there. Meh.

Becky - enjoy the color run!

Saef - I agree with Jay, in this weather I think I would enjoy the Ritz Carlton more than being outside in Fl right now.

Andrea - I'm sorry about the binge, and I've been there. I have no great solutions for helping with it, but I can empathize with the after effect.

Chris - I'm glad that you and your wife are settling in okay. I'm sure that something is around the corner for your guys.

This comment also took a while after reading it to sink in. It just snapped into my head that yes, I'm already back on track and doing fine.


Thinking about Bargoo today.

Thinking about Bargoo too. Today and every day.

Sorry about the binge Andrea. Hope you're feeling better now.

I hate changes to my plans. I went out to go to bikram and my car won't start. Not the end of the world but sure throws a kink in my plans. Dh must be in meetings because he isn't answering my calls or texts so I called roadside assistance and am waiting for a tow. I was supposed to meet dd for lunch after yoga and she still wants me to come. Her suggestion is that I walk to dh's work and take his truck. That might work if the tow doesn't take too long and dh gets back to me so I can use his key. The only thing I really need to do is go to the safe deposit box. Apparently you need your birth certificate in TX to get a driver's license so I'm crossing my fingers that it is in there!

Trying to stay out of the kitchen so I don't decide to graze over my frustration. At least I wasn't stranded somewhere or needing to get somewhere very important.

Michele - sorry about your car. That is aggravagting. Is your anniversary dinner tonight, too?

Andrea - no beating yourself up!! If this were easy, everyone would be thin and happy all the time! You know, my DH NEVER monitors my food and would never criticize my eating but sometimes when he is gone I have the thought of "Yay! I can get away with this because I am home alone!" It's so crazy!

Michele - I have a co-worker who certainly isn't perfect, but I so admire the way she just ROLLS with any changes to her plans! Me? I get SO thrown off by things not going EXACTLY as I had them planned! Hope all works out with your car!

Jen

Dinner is tomorrow night. I've now got a loaner as the dealer didn't have time to look at it today. Such an overall frustrating day for many reasons....

Yesterday, one of my direct reports seemed preoccupied and wasn't like her usual amiable self, and when we had our one-on-one meeting, she told me that her husband had an MRI done on his head because of recent headaches, and she was worried. Later in the day, she stood before my desk asking if she could talk with me, and we walked outside of the building together, and she said the MRI had found a cyst. That was what she called it: A cyst. And I couldn't help but hug her as we stood outside. And of course, I thought of Bargoo.

I drove home thinking about how life does this to us: We're plugging along, getting our work done, running our errands, grocery shopping, saving money (or not), and then ... BANG! ... a gun goes off, and life changes suddenly and randomly.

I think of Bargoo around 5 AM, while drinking coffee in the dark at my kitchen table, after thinking about all my day's plans & stresses, and it makes my concerns seem trivial.