3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   Living Maintenance (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/living-maintenance-170/)
-   -   In over my head (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/living-maintenance/284482-over-my-head.html)

ShaMac 07-07-2013 09:33 PM

In over my head
I feel like I am really losing control here. Losing the weight was fairly easy for me, and I lost it really quickly. Now I am having a really hard time staying on track with maintaining my weight. During the last few weeks I was dieting, all I could think was, I will be so glad when I hit my goal so I can eat. I know now, (and I even realized then) that my thoughts were way out of line, and I would never maintain with that attitude. However, since I made goal all I want to do is eat, I want any and everything that is unhealthy and I want large amounts of it. Although I never really ate all that "healthy" while I was losing, I'm finding it really hard to control my portions and even go back to my weight loss plan. I made my goal just a few short weeks ago (about 3 or 4) and I feel like I'm new to this. I am maintaining around 138, that's no too far off track just a 3lbs difference but, I am really struggling to eat right even just a few days out the week. I really need any help or advice you all are willing to offer :( .

traveling michele 07-07-2013 09:45 PM

What you're struggling with is why so many people regain their lost weight. You obviously realize this but have to decide whether you'd rather eat what you want or work to keep the weight off. What people say is true-- it's not a diet but a lifestyle change.

Think about all of the benefits of being thin. I'm sure they outweigh any unhealthy food.

Good luck and keep posting here! I've found it very helpful!

bargoo 07-07-2013 10:52 PM

ShaMac, when I get those feelings I ask myself, do I want to start all over again ? Do I want to start wearing extra large clothing again ? That usually gets my attention.

SuperHeroTeacher 07-08-2013 12:26 AM

I completely understand where you're coming from. My worries about maintenance keep me up at night and I'm 6-12 months away from it!

The program I'm on (Medifast) has a transition to maintenance phase (16 weeks I think) where new foods are slowly introduced back into the diet.

Maybe you can look for some kind of transition plan to follow so you have a plan and aren't tempted to be a free for all?

Mudpie 07-08-2013 06:59 AM

How did you pick your goal weight? Maybe the number is a bit low?

The first goal weight I selected, mostly from looking at other people on this site, was impossible to attain, for me. I will probably never get to the SECOND goal weight I selected. My body has wanted to weigh (and I comfortable maintain at) 136 lbs. since I was a teenager. The difference now is body composition. I have a lot more muscle and am really fit now. So I weight 136-137 lbs. and can comfortably maintain that without having to calorie count, weigh food, and all that stuff that was very tedious for me. I do keep track of what I eat and try to err on the side of fresh food prepared by me. My brain DOES know the calorie counts of most of what I eat so that helps too.

So why don't I change my ticker? Pride, I guess. And embarrassment at settling for what looks like a pretty high number, based on what I see on this site.

We all have to find our own answers.

Dagmar :cool:

saef 07-08-2013 11:21 AM

How long did it take you to lose the weight? You say "fairly quickly." What I'm asking is, for how many years did you eat whatever you want, whenever you wanted it, compared with how many months you've made more self-conscious choices and restricted your intake?

It really takes time and patience with yourself to sink into these relatively new habits. You will regain and re-lose as you figure it out.

You say you want to eat all the time. Are you bingeing? Or having issues with portion control? What are common situations where you have trouble? Can you think them out & then come up with some alternative strategies? You're gonna have to think about patterns of thought & behavior & work on those. They are harder than the food choices and they take longer to resolve.

I won't lie: It's a lot of work, which sometimes feels natural and then sometimes again feels like a lot of work.

mlk58 07-08-2013 11:49 AM

There is no finish line. If you want to keep the weight off, you will NEVER be able to eat large quantities of whatever you want. Ever. If you think of weight loss as "dieting" and "being finished with dieting," you are almost certainly doomed to failure.

Maintenance is really just doing what you did to lose the weight, maybe with a few more calories thrown in, and doing it forever.

It sucks, but there it is.

ShaMac 07-08-2013 04:27 PM

Thank you all for your suggestions!

Mudpie, Honestly I picked my goal by seeing the rolls disappear in my back. Although my midsection is still not where I want it to be, I refused to keep losing because all of my womanly features are disappearing. It's does seem like being infatuated with 135 is a bit extreme, especially since the number I seem to be stuck with is 137.6. I just don't want to change to a higher goal because I'll find myself a few lbs over that new higher goal (and think , oh its judt two lbs)and it'll become a pattern for me. If that makes any sense at all.

Seaf, it took me about 3 and a half months to reach my goal. As far as the years I ate whatever I wanted, I guess I ate what/when I wanted until I was in my early 20's until I realized I needed to go on a diet. This is not my first time making my goal weight. I made my goal weight of 145 in 2010 and was able to maintain for about a year and a half. However, depression got the best of me and I just kind of let go at that point.
As far a binging, I suppose I am. I tend to binge particularly on weekends, when I feel I have a little more freedom, maybe because I have restricted myself too much during the week.

Mudpie 07-08-2013 04:51 PM

What you said about the goal number going higher and higher is, I think, a common fear. I too am afraid that if I declare myself to be at goal at 135 then I'll shoot up :eek: to 138 or 139 and then make a higher number my goal. That's one of the reasons I still make my goal 130. :dizzy:

For me a lot of dieting/maintenance is head games :twirly:. My body :angel: is pretty compliant in maintaining a healthy weight and not wanting junk food or alcohol. It's my head :devil: and emotions that get me to do the bad stuff. So I fool myself. And I know I'm fooling myself. :joker:

But for some :crazy: reason it seems to work.

Dagmar :shrug:

lin43 07-09-2013 07:35 AM

I agree with what Saef suggested about identifying what throws you off and trying to find solutions for that. My own experience is a testament to that. Although I lost weight many times, I never succeeded in keeping it off long term because I was too miserable with the limitations of my plan. I like spontaneity, and to plan out in advance what I would eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner every day was just too restrictive for me (everyone is different). Inevitably, particularly at dinnertime, some unexpected eating event would turn up, I would blow my calorie count, and I would just give up at that point. Also, I hated exercise because I found it boring and hated having to take out time in my day to do it when I was already so busy I couldn't do all that I needed to do in my "real" life (work, home). I realized that I needed a more flexible eating plan and an exercise plan that would not interfere so much with my time. I decided on the following:

1) Have a weekly rather than a daily calorie total - This allows me to eat more on days when unexpected events come up and less on days that are normal. So, I keep track of my daily calories on a smartphone app, but I have a weekly total.

2) Start my "day's" calorie count with my most unpredictable meal, which happens to be dinner for me. Thus, if my husband all of a sudden wants to take me out to dinner, it's no big deal because I can always adjust the next day's breakfast and lunch plans. (I loosely plan my calorie count for meals, even if I'm not sure of exactly what I'll be eating. I keep my fridge stocked with yogurt, boiled eggs, oatmeal, etc.).

3) I had my husband build/set up a tread desk for me (Google it). I do so much work at home on my computer and I am a fast walker, so I often walk 3-6 miles a day while simultaneously getting my work done (and I "play" on it, too---I'm typing this as I walk). Once I got into that, I also found that I love group fitness, so I joined a gym and go to classes there early in the a.m. I am loving it!

Even with all that, though, it is still not easy. I've been at this for two years (on maintenance for 1 1/2 years), and I still often struggle. Right now, I'm about 3-5 lbs more than I would like to be, but I'm not stressing too much over it. Like you, I do have fears of my weight gradually creeping up as I become more accepting of a higher weight, but I'm starting to realize that I need to work on being more moderate. Someone on another board mentioned that we should aim for a goal lifestyle, not a goal weight, and that makes so much sense to me. How do you want to live your life? I think it's important to find a balance between being healthy but not being so restrictive that eating and moving becomes a chore. In past years, I would be one extreme or the other. I would be restrictive and finally give up because I would say to myself, "Life is too short not to eat what I want!" But then I would eat immoderately for months, gain all the weight back, and then I would say to myself, "Life it too short to be this fat and uncomfortable!" Either way, I was using the carpe diem idea to get out of whatever was making me uncomfortable. That's why I decided to find a way to be a moderate weight without too much pain. It's working so far.

Sorry for the long post, but I hope some of it helped.

devadiva 07-10-2013 08:49 AM


Originally Posted by mlk58 (Post 4788483)
There is no finish line. If you want to keep the weight off, you will NEVER be able to eat large quantities of whatever you want. Ever. If you think of weight loss as "dieting" and "being finished with dieting," you are almost certainly doomed to failure.

Maintenance is really just doing what you did to lose the weight, maybe with a few more calories thrown in, and doing it forever.

It sucks, but there it is.

This is my reality and I am willing to live with it this time...as you I stuggled last time I was at goal and in a period of a year had gained almost 30 lbs. It took almost 2 years to get my head straight and get back on track. So this time I am in!

ChrisMohr 07-10-2013 09:32 AM

1) Maintenance is HARD!
2) I eat vast quantities of veggies every day, in many different forms. I can't hope to maintain as long as I have an empty stomach.
3) I also succeed when I have a good, zone-balanced diet. Adequate protein is essential, as is at least some fat.
4) My red alert foods are sugar and chocolate. For others, it's high-fat or high-sodium foods. I keep red-alert foods mostly out of my house and save for special occasions like desserts at a restaurant. EXCEPTION: I found I can eat very dark chocolate at home in measured amounts.
5) I fail sometimes. Then I try to be honest, and take advantage of the support I get here!
Good luck, this is the hardest time, harder than weight loss I have found. And the most important. I swear no more major yo-yos, only little ones!

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