I can't tell you how many times I've heard versions of the following statement: "you shouldn't feel self-conscious at the gym if you're overweight, because everyone else is too busy focusing on their workout to notice or care." Ditto for eating from the breadbasket at dinner if you're overweight, or wearing a tight, brightly colored skirt, or anything else that draws negative attention to you as a larger-than-average human.
I'm here to say, you're not just paranoid. It's not just in your head. People really are that shallow, myself included, and make comparisons and pass judgement all the time. I'm not proud of it, it's not something I do on purpose, and whenever I have one of my "oh god she's fat" thoughts, I quickly tell myself off mentally for having passed judgement. BUT I DO IT ANYWAY. ALL THE F*CKING TIME. Today, heaven help me, I actually almost said something to a pair of overweight girls in the locker room of my gym, aged maybe 10-11, who were wearing bathing suits and eating ice cream sandwiches (I considered "should you be eating that in here?" instead of my initial gut reaction of "you so don't need those calories; why don't you throw them away?" but thankfully decided neither of these would be appropriate).
The fact is, most of us on this thread would rather lose an eye or a job than regain the weight we've worked so hard to lose (and keep off). If being fat didn't disgust us, we wouldn't have been motivated to lose our weight to begin with. We spend our days working hard to prevent regain, and live in fear of the scale (or our skinny jeans) telling us that we've gained even a few pounds. So, how hypocritical would it be if we DIDN'T feel disgust (or pity) at others who are overweight? Pass judgement when others can't manage what we have? Feel real fear when we see someone who's the shape we used to be, knowing how easy it would be to return there?
I'm expressing all of this because I've really been struggling with these feelings the last couple of months. I'm not proud of it but I also don't see a way to stop thinking like that. What do you do? If you've found ways to think less judgmentally, please share.