I went off the rails Wednesday (party) and Thursday (because I'd blown Wednesday I decided I'd just go ahead and blow Thursday, too!). Genius, I am.

Now I'm paying for it with lethargy, an icky feeling stomach, and massive sugar cravings. I don't weigh until Monday, which is good. That's 3 days to get back into gear.

Sigh. I was SO close to being back at or under my red line. Right now I'm focusing on the fact that I have lost real weigh in the last 8 weeks, and I haven't "blown it" with the last 2 days, and I can get in the groove again.

Two steps forward, one step back.

Up another pound. I was lower three weeks ago, before I added another day of weight training to my schedule, for a total of four days a week. And I've had a sluggish digestive system these past two weeks. I've also eaten richer dinners than usual, with lamb and prime rib left over from Easter, and a home-made curried chicken dish much of this week. Probably I need one week of carefully watched intake to figure out what's happened here among those three factors.

ETA: Anyway, time to true up the ticker and face the number.

Sigh.... yes....
Operation scale addiction is working half way so far. I have only weighed myself once per day for the last three days. Win. However, each day I've been up. Fail. Sigh....

Dh leaves Saturday for China. I think I'll be doing some serious restricting and exercising when he's gone. I HATE running but I think I'll need to add that in. I've got the tough mudder coming in September and I need to get the extra weight off.

I've not gone over the edge with food, but I've eaten at maintenance the last couple of days. Combine that with a 400 calorie over maintenance day on Saturday, and even with exercise still no scale movement.

I'm pretty discouraged - after a month of exercise and decent food choices my weight is exactly the same. What it teaches me is that exercise doesn't matter at all and it is all about food for me. And really? I haven't overeaten much, just been close to maintenance range on average - over four weeks several 1200-1300 calorie days, a couple right at 1800, a couple at 2000-2400, etc. Average is at 1750ish. I don't know if I'm willing to go back into serious calorie counting and restriction. So maybe the answer for me is to let go of my current body image, try to shape up what is here a little bit and see what we see.

Wow, it is so easy to eat 1200-1300 cals of chips in the blink of an eye.
I'm having one if those 'what was I thinking?' moments.

Also in a struggle. Ate 2400 cals pure carbs last night's dinner. Feeling bloated.

Ok.

Aware of my vicious carb addiction pathway.

2-3 days to break it.

Starting now.

Really. Will post back.

Good luck fellow maintainer travelers.

Count me among those who are having a hard time right now. And I have the opposite problem to Michele. I hate to weigh when I know I've gained, and will avoid the scale for a few days in a row. I also hate to log my food (even if I don't overeat; just find it an onerous chore) but I need to do both of those things RELIGIOUSLY if I want to lose weight, and often, even if I just want to maintain. I managed to hold my weight steady in Seattle, then came home proud of myself and immediately blew it because my own pantry is sooo inviting, with all kinds of carbs that are ok in small portions but are super easy to overeat (like nuts, cereal and dried fruit). I had 4-5 days of overeating (like 500-600 calories extra/day) and went up 4 POUNDS. Awe inspiring. I swear I just have to look at food to gain weight. Now I'm hating myself, my pants feel tight and I can't bear to look at myself naked, even though objectively I know I don't look all that different.

I'm beginning to understand why some pretty high-achieving people have declared that weight maintenance is the hardest thing they ever did. And why so many of us regain it all. 2 1/2 years in, and I'm mentally exhausted from the incessant battle.

Hi there
Not sure if its ok to just jump in here...I usually follow the maintainers on a different thread.

Shannon. I am exactly the same. Exercise really seems to have no bearing on weight loss. Most trainers say its 80% nutrition/20% exercise, but I see as high as 90/10. I have tried doing tons of exercise and little exercise and it always seems to come down to what I eat.

Please jump in! Yes, I would agree with the 90/10 ratio. I exercise, and I do think it makes a difference in fitness and body composition, as well as in my mental health and motivation . . . BUT. I'm convinced it does absolutely NOTHING for my weight loss.

That being said, put me on the list of "I've screwed up with my food this week." I'm going to be avoiding the scale (because it'll mess with my head) and trying to get all this sugar out of my system. Grrrrr.

On the plus side, and something I'm trying to focus on: yesterday I ran 10k in a pretty good time (for me - I'm slow!) and then climbed a local mountain. Lots of activity and I felt physically very good. I just need to get my eating under control.

I've been fighting with myself for two days. Half of me wants to call the other half all kinds of nasty things for the five-pound weight gain over the past month. And then that other half looks at all the exercise that I do, all the things that I turned down this past week, and feels I'm among the damn@d, rather than the saved, and I feel so sorry for myself for having to put in three times the work without even getting anywhere near the results. But look, I did that to myself by getting so fat and staying that way for decades.

Also, I've been chastising myself on the ridiculous amount of money that I spent getting my hair done yesterday. What with the baliage, the glaze, the cut and blow dry, the tip for Patrick and the tip for the assistant who washed my hair ... I had one of those moments at the register when the person cashing you in gives you a total and you are momentarily taken aback, but try not to show it. Patrick's new salon is more costly than the one he left. I'm probably paying for atmosphere, decor and prestige.

What is the cost of my vanity? Between nail salon visits, hairdresser, the weekly personal training session and the sunk cost of time that I clock at the gym daily?

This weekend, I've rebelled in a very small way from my routine and have been up past 10 PM and sleeping till 6 AM. Today I got up and thought, "It's sunny. And I really want to run for Gary, rather than going to spin." So that's what I did. And then did my weight routine. This is going to sound really weird, but because I got up so late, and therefore was off my usual routine, I felt like I'd already BLOWN THE WHOLE DAY. Like it wasn't even worth salvaging. Like nothing could turn it around. I made that astonishing assessment at 9:15 AM, mind you.

But then I got out & ran for Gary, and then did weights, and I'm back here at my desk an hour and a half later than usual. And it's okay. I don't feel bad or wrong.

I really, really need to work on being flexible like this. Otherwise I'm just living in a self-constructed cage.

I find myself telling the people I work with to be kind to themselves.
Of course, that's easier said, than done.

Accountability follow up from yesterday. Went to dinner at a diner with son who spent all day doing a competition- he won first place with the rest of his teammates. I was going to order a reuben then changed to chef salad. Better decision. Did finish his wrap tho- (about 1/4 sand, totally unnec.)

today- overate for lunch -good choice, 3 helpings.
will hold tight on the bingeometer and fake it till I make it.

Saef-- If you have the $$ to spend, then by all means do. You work hard. I try to make sure to take good care of myself these days. But I still make sure to help others-- whether they be friends, relatives, charities or community service.

Flexibility-- remains a thorn in my side. My younger dd is here for the weekend and she goes back tomorrow. I will have to take her to the airport after work and will hit a lot of traffic. I was stressing about missing yoga. I will obviously miss the 4:30 class that I usually go to. I was hoping I would make the later class-- 6:30 pm but it would be tight. I decided this morning in yoga that I won't try to kill myself-- I will instead go to the gym for an 8:00 pm U-Jam class. I haven't been in months and I don't like working out that late but I want to be flexible and not stress myself out. Dinner is always the issue if I work out late. I think I'll have a small dinner before and a snack after.

saef, I also struggle with these feelings. My inner 2 year old has been very active this last week or so, throwing tantrums left and right. I see people around me who eat half a cookie and leave the other half on their plate, apparently forgotten. I have dinner with friends who can occasionally splurge and not fall into a cycle of restriction. I had a conversation with a co-worker this week who has made peace with her body - she says she'd rather have an occasional "treat" and be at the higher end of a normal weight for her than to constantly feel deprived. And I want to be all of those people. Instead, like so many on this board, I know that my body would love to be 50 pounds heavier if I gave it the slightest push in that direction, so it's constant vigilance and abstention from triggers.

I also am reminding myself that it's not always such a mental struggle. It's always hard, of course, but there are days and weeks where the routine of it all carries me through. My big problem right now is my decision to overeat, as well as eat sugar, the last 4 days in a row. And, of course, I know the underlying issue is my slooooooowly imploding relationship.

Hugs to us all, as we solider on today and this week.

Hugs to you too Jen. I was wondering about your relationship.

I also am so amazed by people who eat half a cookie. How is that even possible? I am so black and white-- all or nothing-- which is why I usually don't even let myself slip. On our cruise I allowed myself dessert which spiralled into having dessert 2-3 times a day. Now I've got a stupid extra 10 pounds that is stubbornly sticking around.

My dd is home for the weekend and we are going to check out a new outlet mall in a few minutes. Part of me is chastising myself and telling myself that I don't deserve anything. The other part of me is trying to be more rational-- my skinny clothes aren't fitting but I really don't want to buy bigger clothes-- but is it really so bad if my size zeros don't fit and I have to buy a 2 or a 4?

Dd and I ate an interesting lunch yesterday. It was quite good and I *think* healthy. The scale was down today. I had a vitality bowl-- yummy!!

http://www.vitalitybowls.com/

Mchele, checked out the menu, I want to get in my car and go there NOW.

Momto3 - absolutely chip in! I'm glad it isn't just me. I see people talk about exercise burning so many calories and get frustrated. I really believe it is 90 or 95 percent food with me. The exercise just helps with body comp and mood, it really helps my mood. Though haven't even seen any body comp changes this last month - I'm afraid I need less food to maintain now than last year.

Saef - on the hair, I agree with Michele that if you can afford it and it makes you feel good then spend it. On the flexibility - no real advice as I struggle with it, too. Sounds like you did well today.

Kitty - we can always tell others not to be so hard on themselves, but can't tell ourselves.

Michele - don't feel bad about a few larger clothes. How do you feel you look overall? My friend photochick told me last week that I looked fantastic on a day I didn't feel so great, and since then we've had some discussions about my body image. I'm trying to realize how good I look and not focus on the bad I see.

Jen - my inner toddler has been out in force this weekend. And I can't leave half a cookie for anything. I'm sorry your relationship is falling - sometimes I think the slow implosion is worse than a big fall out. Hugs to you. Is your new pic from the mountain?

Andrea - I'm exhausted, too. I hadn't thought about it clearly until you used the word 'battle', but that is what I feel like I've been doing for the last couple of years.

I'm tired today. I put in lots of plants in the garden after I did my run for Gary. Did more than I should have and am drained out tired. The pollen is dragging me hard. And I ate too many carbs and sugar today in response. And have a headache - from the allergies and the sugar, I'm sure.