I also play these head games with myself, and it sounds like we're in agreement in some things! I refuse to eat half a banana, unless I am trying to make one last bc I won't go to the store (like put half in oatmeal one day and half the next bc I won't go to the grocery store by then and I love banana in my oatmeal). I admit I try to buy the smaller bananas, but I won't restrict them. It wasn't overeating bananas, or lentils, or... that got me to 210 lbs in the first place, and it wasn't overeating bananas or lentils that caused me to regain 27 lbs. It was cocktails, some "occasional" foods that became "more often" foods, and larger portions of everything. Actually thinking back I don't think my fruit & veggie portions increased - because I always eat 1 banana, 1 apple, etc. lol.
I will admit too that I won't end up at a weight where I can't ever drink a glass of wine or have dessert. But it will be a weekly thing, not daily. However it seems I have to give up more of those things to lose the weight... and I've accepted that, for now.
Interesting perspective from other racers, Shannon. I must admit my thoughts usually follow yours, like when I see people at the gym work out lightly for 30 minutes and drink a Gatorade and eat a protein bar or friends who tell me they are trying to eat healthy so they had granola or a taco salad ("I ate salad!") etc... I think to myself it's silly, but I don't say anything. I know I'm far too sensitive about food myself.
I am "overweight" right now as well. If (WHEN) I get back to my goal weight I won't be, but that isn't why I'm trying to get back there. Even then I'm on the higher end of recommended weight for my height, and when I was at that weight accepting it was a struggle for me. I tell myself I'm very muscular, and then I tell myself to stop telling myself that bc I might be making excuses for myself. But I felt good there, felt healthy and confident. I have realized with this 4 year regain and struggling to lose process, there are friends who have only known me as the current pudgy version (though a teensy bit less pudgy this spring), and don't know my history, etc. They talk to me differently than friends who do know my history. It doesn't help with the head games.: I guess my point is that I understand exactly what you mean! :dizzy