So as many of you know I maintained my loss for about 6 months before regaining 10 lbs in 6 months due to my love of weekend binging and overeating. Now that the vacations are over and I'm done training for a little bit and I'm kind of in control of the binging I'm ready to really put in the work and lose those 10 lbs. But something inside of me knows that my original maintenance range of 140-143lbs wasn't my true goal. I know we always tell people that you have to know when to stop and when enough is enough and that they'll always be that something that isn't good enough. But I don't know if it's the challenge of being at a weight I've never been at or societal pressures by I want to take it to the next level, I don't want to be average (I think I'm having a midlife crisis, don't laugh my son turns 3 today and I just don't know how that happened LOL).
So I guess my question is how is it different losing a small amount of weight after maintaining for a bit and did you have to do it secretly? My DH knows my intentions, but I know that the rest of friends and family would protest because a) they thought I looked awesome at 140, some even made me promise to stop, and b) they still think I look fine now. My height, I swear it changes, is 5'-5" - 5'-6" (I honestly think I'm 5'-5 1/2") and I'm a very small frame. So depending on where the weight comes from I'd really like to see myself in the 120s. If the weight refuses to come from the middle, I'll probably have to scrap the idea because I'll look gaunt in my face and my arms will probably fall off.
Anyway, maybe this is a better post in the Featherweights, but I'm looking for a maintainers perspective on losing a large amount of weight, taking a long break and then going for more, even though it may be mostly vanity pounds.
So, I've followed your story somewhat, so I think I understand where you're coming from. While I don't think its bad to want to drop your goal weight, because you'd still be in a healthy weight range for your height--I think your final deciding factor is going to be whether or not dropping your goal weight means ramping up your binges, or you wanting to binge. In your post you said you were ready and willing to deal with the binges now, is that because you've pinpointed what was causing you to binge? I mean, I feel like unless it's emotional overeating/binging--it may be hard to eradicate them in order to get to your new goal weight, without putting serious pressure on your body. For me, it takes about 3 weeks for me to really figure out if my calories are too low. I don't "under eat" for a day or two and then suddenly feel the light bulb go off and realize my calories are too low. Typically, its about 3-ish weeks and then if my calories are too low, and my exercise is too intense...I have a major crash and burn. It's definitely not something that comes on slowly and I can readjust for.
Sorry that was long winded....I say, lose the ten pounds you've re-gained and then reevaluate. Take into account how difficult it was to get there, how long it took you to get there...how you feel emotionally and physically. I think these ten pounds will be really telling and help you determine whether or not going for a lower goal weight is something you really want to do!
To be truthful, no I don't really know what is causing my binging, and not for a lack in trying to figure it out. At this point it may just be out of habit and the comfort it gives me on Friday nights. My DH works overnight Friday and Saturday nights, so I'm home alone with DH and bored, I guess. I don't know. During the weeks it's a non-issue unless it's TOM, then that's just hormonal. Saturday's I have pretty much gotten control over because I do a long run on Sunday morning's an I know if I binge, I'll make myself sick during my run and I can usually keep myself from binging with that. But Friday's...I just don't know. I think it's at this point it's just a battle against myself. DH will stop the overnights in the off season (Novemberish) and I don't feel like I'm having anymore "deprevation" type binges anymore. I'm just kinda at a point where I want to lose the 10 lbs for sure and then go for the gold, but I know deep down that the binging issues will still be there when I return to maintenance and that at some point I'll have to deal with them. I guess I just feel like returning to full blown weight loss mode will get me to November and then I can ride that out until next season when DH returns to overnights...and then if the binging returns I can deal with it then...IDK, it's complicated I guess and I'm in denial...
Also as part of this weight loss journey I'm trying to "clean" up my diet and really take pride in my what goes into my body and starting a list of just NOs. I think sometimes if I just never took the first bite I wouldn't binge at all. Having a 3 year old there are a lot of cereals, granola bars, peanut butter and healthy cracker types snacks available and those are all triggers for me. So there is the just say no part of it. But I'm trying to buy the highest quality of those things. Like I won't binge on all natural PB, but good ol' skippy is a problem.
So anyway, not sure what the point of my long winded response was...
Hi there,
Ive followed your story too. Ive always found your story inspirational, mostly cause our height is so similar and you look like you were an apple in your before pics.
I agree with what paper doll said, but I also want to suggest this.
.
My cousin who had wls kept fighting to get below a certain weight and found that she simply couldn't. She saw her wls surgeon who told her that in terms of fat/muscle mass she was probably there, but that her excess skin is probably showing on the scale.
She's had a plastics consult since then and that surgeon estimates an extra 10 pounds of skin around middle , and some more on her thighs.
It's your body, you should make it the vehicle that you want for yourself but you might be fighting forces other than the binging.
When I get really stressed or upset by something in life, I've noticed I want to get back into weight loss mode. There's something comforting about it. You know what you have to do, you do it, you see results, you feel in control and satisfied by your success. Meanwhile, you have something else to focus on other than the thing that's really causing stress.
I've been tempted since I hit this weight to lose more a few times- but it always comes back to something else bothering me in life. I've decided that if I ever do lose 10 more pounds, it's going to be for honest reasons- really be ABOUT the weight you know? Not just a cover up for something else. I'm not going to try to hide from my real issues in eating or dieting, even though it's tempting. So far, once the stress passes, I find I'm quite happy and comfortable exactly where I am right now.
I've never hit goal, but I have regained and lost again and am an emotional binge eater. The one thing that is giving me success right now is working with a fantastic therapist. Like you, I couldn't ever figure out what was causing me to binge... having my therapist's unbiased, third party perspective has brought it all to light and allowed me to deal with it as such. It's been empowering to me and has taken the power away from food in my life.
I've thought about it 100 times or so. I've tried 50 times or so. I just can't do it. My body likes being 140-143. When I do get under 140, (on a few occasions) it has been impossible to maintain it. Also my clothes are all too loose when I do, and I have no desire to buy yet again another wardrobe.
I think at one point I always wanted to beat the odds. Go lower for the shock value more than anything. But now, I think maintaining a huge loss for over 2 years is shocking enough. In the last 2 weeks, (school had started and I'm back to work), more than a handful of people have commented on my maintaince. Very FEW people keep off weight in real life. You know?
I'll put my two cents in since we're the same height, lol. Sometimes your goal weight picks you, not the other way around -- if that makes any sense. When I started this journey and yes, I realize that I didn't have as much to lose as you so I would NEVER assume to understand what you personally went through, I just wanted to get healthy. I didn't really have a goal weight in mind, per se. My body just kind of stopped losing after awhile. Now, I'm trying to tone up and ease into maintenance. I think you look good now or twenty pounds lighter. My sister is 5'4" tall, weighs 140 and looks amazing. When she dieted down to 120 lbs., she looked gaunt and sick. Everyone is different. Try it - do what makes you happy. Hope this helps.
I feel like I have the same story as you in a way. I maintained at 130 for the longest time, but my binges kept getting worse. I'm now 10lbs heavier, and trying and trying to get back into weight loss mode to get back to that 130. Through my 70lb loss, I did not binge at all. It seems like all my issues with that came into effect while trying to maintain. I don't know if the maintenence weight was just too low for me or what. Sometimes I would say to myself, I just can't eat any less...but at the same time, I don't like myself at this weight at all. I know I'm not fat, but when you go from one weight to 10lbs more, you "feel" like you're fat compared to where you were. Oh, and I have issues too with food when my hubby is gone. I've recently told him this. He understands that I'm stressed and lonely when he's gone on overnights as well. He tried to friendly tease me about not eating too much peanutbutter when he's gone. Which is totally true, I'll just lick spoon after spoon at night. But I've been trying really hard to stop my bad habbits as well. Filling up on healthy food when I'm just in the mood to eat. Making my calories count for something, instead of bad for you food calories. But I have kids at home as well, and pb and bread and crackers and cereal are always in the house..and I will not remove them. I just have to get my head in order.
I say go for it. If you find your binges come back, stick to the healthy mind set of eating at the weight you're at now.
Last edited by BakingChick; 08-23-2011 at 10:24 AM.
My honest, harsh opinion? I think your body fought you at 140ish for a reason... i think you binge for a reason, and i dont think you will be able to maintain 120s if you couldnt maintain 139, kwim?
maybe you need to stop looking at the scale, and truly TRULY focus on a size, waiste measuremetns, or Body Fat percentage....... or a fitness goal (which i know you do, already)
I think if you had a hard time maintaining at 140...... i dont know, i think you are settuing yourself up for a HUGE struggle, which will result in MORE binging, unhappiness, frustration, falling self-confidence, etc etc.. you dont want to live your life in a deficit Ncueno..... from what i remember, you seeemd QUITE happy at 140 ish.. and you looked than, and still do, fantastic!
How much lose skin do you really have? I wonder if thats the true issue..... your "real weight" of Lean Body Mass and fat is low, but the added extra skin is whats pushing up towards numbers you dont like.... Just an idea?
FWIW, i know you were able to lose on relatively high calories (lucky dog ) but the more you yo-yo and continue to diet, the more damage you are going to do to your body and metabolism.
i KNOW and have ACCEPTED that i can NEVER be in the 120s (at 5'4), but i CAN continue to change my body composition, and build muscle, lose body fat, be a certain size, etc....
But i do think you will be able to get BACK to where you were, FAIRLY easily ( maybe a little harder than the first time) since you wont be trainig so hard...
i dont know... those are just my thoughts, take them for what they are worth
Yeah, I think getting back to 140 is the first step. I was happy there, for the most part, and it was easy to maintain until I started questioning my maintenance methods.
Maybe I just need to take it one step at a time. I think I could just sort of structure my calories for the 120s maintenance levels, or something that is sustainable for me, and just see what happens.
I guess my flaw is that I am so goal oriented. I'm not sure what to do with myself if I'm not training or losing or otherwise trying to manipulate my diet and body or life. I'm also trying to eat more "cleanly" because I'm on a new crusade to omit artificial crap from my life.
Anyhooo - you all have given me lots to think about - as always Thank you!
I've thought about it 100 times or so. I've tried 50 times or so. I just can't do it.
Same here. I got to my goal of 132, which was pretty easy to maintain, was happy for a few months, then started obsessing about losing more. And THEN I started binging. Very long story short, I'm now maintaining at about 6-8 pounds above my original goal. Easily. Yes, I would love to weigh 125 or so, but I got to a point where my mental health was more important. I'm not thrilled about my body, but I *have* maintained in my healthy range for 15 years.
I don't know, you may be different, but for me it was just not worth the effort.
What a timely message for me. In a few weeks I will hit my one year mark of losing 100 lbs (well actually I was down 102 but pretty much have been floating around 100 lb loss mark all year), and I've been wondering if I could really reach 145 if I got back in the groove that I was in when in the losing phase.
But fighting my natural weight range of 150-170 is what had me fighting binging for years and then finally just throwing in the towel and gaining the 100 extra.
I had let exercise routine drop off to near nothing in the extreme heat this summer. I've decided to ramp back up to my 6 hours per week and see what happens. But I'm not going to take any risks with cutting calories any lower. I may not be totally satisfied with 165 but better to keep seeing that number than move higher due "bounce back".
Sticking my head back in, after a long absence. Hello!
I keep wanting to drop another ten pounds, and I did get as low as the mid-150s, but it was really, really, REALLY hard to stay there. My body seems to actively like the 160-165 range, which is where I'm sitting now. (It's all tied to my cycle. 165ish at the high, pre-menstrual end, 160ish the rest of the time.) I mean, I've basically given up on trying to guess what I'm going to weigh any given day, because it seems to bear no relation to what I've been doing/eating within reasonable limits, outside of too much sodium causing a spike, obviously. My goal really did find me, and while I suppose knocking off those 5-10 total vanity pounds would be nice, I did walk right up to the edge of an eating disorder (which is another reason I vanished for a while) trying to maintain that loss.
I was also absolutely more prone to binging behaviour at the low end, and I'm sure it was because I was depriving myself SO MUCH that I would seriously overeat given the right opportunity, because I truly was so hungry that my control switch got alarmingly easy to override. And in the end, a 20.something BMI vs. a 21.something BMI just has NOT been worth the grief. It sounds crazy, but it did take me a while to truly grasp just how thin I am. I'm very tall, have a medium/large frame, I have freaking BONES sticking out everywhere, but I got so fixated on that number on the scale that I lost my ability to see the big picture.
So yeah, up to you, and I can't say part of me doesn't want to really go for it, but there's a lot to be said for finding a healthy weight that's relatively easy to maintain, and letting go of a weight that requires you to build your entire life around its maintenance.
Anyone decide to go for more?
Do what makes you happy. Some may say 'why'? I say 'WHY NOT'?
