Am I being a bad role model?

  • I have two young children. My dd is almost six and my DS is three and a half. I cook every single night for my family and I mean from scratch, three days a week I cook meat, once or twice I cook fish and the rest is veggies. I am a vegetarian borderline vegan so my eating varies from the rest. No matter what I make the side dish and salad are always things I can eat.
    NOW - sometimes I feel too tired to cook or make a salad. Even making a salad takes time right, you have to wash the veggies, cut them etc.
    So days like today when I am too tired to cook I make a simple oatmeal and throw in some fresh berries for myself (I made a creamy bacon sauce with pasta for the family).
    My DH has issues with me eating oatmeal for dinner. He said it sets a bad example for the children. He said I have to eat food at night with the family because it will make the children think that its ok to not eat "food" Whatever that means.
    Does anyone have any insight on this?
    I have explained to the children why I do not eat meat, obviously they don't really understand the concept but quite honestly they don't question it. I teach them to choose the right foods and how important it is to feed your body with the right nutrients blah, blah, blah.
    But it bothers me that DH would say that. Any ideas? What do you guys think, is he right?
  • I'm a vegetarian (15 yrs now) with a 7 and 4 yr old. THey know mommy doesn't eat meat. They have no problems with it. Eating something different does not set a bad example, especially if it healthy. Now if you were eating a pizza and all they had was some cold cereal, that may be different. I rarely eat what everyone else it. It's never been a problem. Don't let that be in your house.
  • I don't see how eating oatmeal sets a bad example. I eat part of what I fix for the family most of the time, but I also fix myself other stuff due to food intolerances. My kids have never noticed and we all eat together everyday for at least two meals.

    Not sure how I would react if dh decided he could dictate what I could and couldn't eat, but I can tell you that it probably wouldn't be pretty.
  • As long as you are ok with the kids choosing to eat what you are eating over the real meal, then I don't see a problem. I think an issue would come in if it's ok for mom to eat "whatever she wants" while they are stuck with one thing.
  • I think you sound like a great role model. You aren't eating oatmeal every night. You are teaching your children how to eat healthy which is different from much of America!

    I feel like I didn't set the best example with my eldest dd (when we still ate unhealthy) and I have great guilt over it (she now has weight issues). My younger dd was exposed to more healthy meals, seeing me exercise, etc. I feel like I've set a much better example for her.
  • Quote:
    My DH has issues with me eating oatmeal for dinner. He said it sets a bad example for the children. He said I have to eat food at night with the family because it will make the children think that its ok to not eat "food"
    Best ask your DH what he's talking about. Because I don't get it either.

    Does he mean breakfast food at dinner time? (Sometimes we do breakfast for dinner for fun, so even that I do not get.)

    Does he help cook for the kids?

    A.
  • Oatmeal is food.

    I think as long as you are eating a reasonable amount of healthy food, you're a good role model

    I'm glad I don't have kids, because sometimes I have yogurt for dinner! And sometimes I don't eat dinner at all- I just pick at small mini-meals while doing other things!
  • Thanks everyone I feel so much better. It's funny because today I thought about giving the kids the choice of what to make for dinner and their answer was : boiled potatos with olive oil, steamed zucchini, salad and lima beans. I'm so proud of them! I have to give myself more credit, these kids know exactly what makes mommy happy!
  • So you're a bad role model for cooking oatmeal, but not for Mommybeing the sole cook for the family even though Daddy is presumably an able-bodied adult as well?

    I just don't see it.