Dagmar, I did cry, in my car on the way home -- actually, I screamed a few times -- and then on the cardio machine at the gym, when I was by myself.
I hate my job today. Hate, hate, hate it.
Not only because of being passed over, but because I got up at 4:15 AM today to go to the gym only to discover the analysts had a heated discussion on the Intel piece overnight, giving me three different drafts, the final one coming in at 3:15 AM. (Yes, it's fun to work in a culture of obsessive workaholics.)
They want to get it out today. Of course.
So I am sitting here in gym clothes, where I've been since 5 AM, still working on sorting out the mess they created. It's all knotted up. They are brilliant guys -- I never doubt that I work with some of the smartest people in this business -- but being total gearheads, as all semiconductor guys are, the majority of them are not good at creating a narrative line & presenting information in logical order for an executive who may not be as fascinated by all the interior gears as they are.
This is my problem: I try to create something that is unified & well-ordered, but they always think it's missing things, isn't comprehensive enough, fails to address their individual obsessions (they each have a different one) so they stick in a lot interpolations. So I often find the elves have been at work overnight while I slept -- because I do need sleep sometimes, unlike them, apparently (they only sleep on airplanes) -- and they've turn it into a wacky Christmas tree, with stuff just hung on it randomly, on any branch within reach.
So here I am, trying to make it an organic, logical & smoothly flowing holistic design.
I would rather work on a sexy tech topic. Semiconductors are not it.
Now Dagmar can see why I need Cesar Milan's techniques.
I will get to the gym after work tonight. I promise this to myself. I will listen to the Cream's "Disraeli Gears" & Led Zeppelin & other angry stuff while lifting weights. I will finally get that upper tricep skin to tighten up a little bit more. And then there will be the weekend.
I don't know that a 3-D tranistor thingamajob is, but I think that there is nothing wrong with a good cry for a situation like this. I'm sorry, sweetie, I know it must be disappointing. I think you're awesome.
So sorry Saef about the job. Though when you mentioned there was a British candidate and the boss (?) was British, I immediately thought they'd probably give it to him even though you are obviously more qualified! Thank goodness for you that it is Friday and you just have to get through today. Then, it is the weekend! You should do something just for you this weekend. Maybe something new and crazy and unusual!?
I feel better than I did yesterday which isn't saying much. Had to skip the gym again so I'm ****-bent on going today even though today is extremely tight and busy. Dewey had an A+ checkup for his first checkup! I was surprised he weighs 4.4 pounds. I thought he was two at the most but compared to Jozi (125 pounds) he looks like nothing! Of course, I had to stop at two places to buy him new toys for being such a good boy.
I asked dd what she wanted to do with/for me for Mom's day and she wants to go pick out a doggie purse so we can take Dewey places!
After work, dd and I have manicures/pedicures scheduled so I hope I'm feeling better and can enjoy it. I did feel better yesterday as the day progressed and I'm starting off a little better than I did yesterday, so I'm hopeful. I really think I have a tad of a virus that is going around but my super immunity (?) is fighting it fairly well.
Older dd in college is adjusting to her first week living by herself in her new apartment. It blows my mind that she is really becoming an adult but I was MARRIED at her age (20)! She said she is already turning into "That Cat Lady" because she now lives by herself, she knits, and she is looking at shelters to possibly get a kitten this weekend. I just hope she doesn't resign herself to never getting married... there I go worrying about her future again!
Michele, I wouldn't worry about your 20-year-old DD giving up on ever getting married! She's only 20! Worry about it when she's 40. And hey, my aunt is a cat lady (late 50's, never married, lives alone with 5 cats). There's nothing wrong with that either. And knitting is actually quite trendy these days.
Saef, I understand. I really do. You know I'm a software developer. It's not uncommon for me to come in in the morning and find emails my coworkers sent in the middle of the night (from certain people -- some work normal hours, some are lunatics ). I try not to let it bother me, unless there's some sudden deadline that is absolutely urgent. I will stick to my 8-5 hours. They can work whatever crazy hours they want, but I don't let it affect my schedule. I've also been trying to get promoted for quite some time now and am really frustrated with being held back.
I'm making a run to my doctor's office this afternoon for a possible bladder infection. I hate that feeling where I'm like, maybe I have one, but I'm not totally sure. The last time I had a bladder infection I didn't have any symptoms and they just caught it at my physical. The first time I had one was absolutely awful. This time I sort of have some symptoms, but not really bad, and not all the time. Oh well. Labs don't lie, and at least I didn't have to make an appointment to go give a urine sample. If it's nothing then it's nothing, but better safe than sorry.
Last edited by paperclippy; 05-06-2011 at 11:45 AM.
Yeesh, I've never had a UTI or bladder infection, but DH did a year or so ago. I suspected that it was what he had (actually we both kind of thought he had a kidney stone or kidney infection). After three or four days of high fever and body aches I finally took him to urgent care. The doctor didn't think it could be a UTI as he didn't have THE symptom that usually defines it (burning when peeing and generally feeling like you have to go all the time). Well they determined it was a UTI and gave him a shot. Within 20 minutes he was feeling better, but he still took his full course of antibiotics.
My brother is a software engineer. After several years of being passed up for promotion he finally determined it was due to the fact he had never gotten his degree. He ended up going back to school to get the one or two (non computer related) classes done, got his degree and got his promotion. He now says "I love my job" but I know in all seriousness he's lying. He's had so much job stress the past few years he's had heart problems or at least the feeling that he has heart problems and ended up in the ER once and then had to go through a battery of tests. After that he started looking for a new, less stressful, job but hasn't found anything that will match his current salary which he needs as his youngest still needs to go to college.
Jessica-- it's not that dd doesn't want to eventually get married-- she does. But her self-esteem about herself is non-existent due to her weight issues. I'm praying that as her self-esteem improves (it is slowly I think), she'll tackle her weight issues.
We raised two service dogs in the past and as puppy raisers you have to take them everywhere you go to socialize them. Dd is expressing interest in doing this during her graduate school program. I'm thinking this might be a great avenue to get her out and talking to people and not being cooped up in an apartment.
It was a frustrating day today. My client apparently gave me the unlocking fob for her huge vehicle but not the keys. Unless there's something ultra special about starting this vehicle. The keys look like house keys. SIGH.
And the dog - my sweet, responsive, trained Cesar Millan guy - is being a total *sshole! Running away from me, not coming when I call him, stealing toys, and then jumping all over me when I finally did catch him and covering me with wet sand.
Mr. Smartypants stayed on the leash for his 2nd walk and we will do some intensive training tomorrow and Sunday. I will be calm (am at my house taking a break).
Maybe it's the weather or a phase of the moon or something. Poor DH was studying downstairs when our female cat (my avatar) jiggled her way under the baby gate, pooped on the carpet, and then announced that act with a huge vomit on same carpet. With DH sitting right there! He has now banned her from this room.
I was drinking a bottle of water when DH told me this story and I laughed so hard it all went up my nose and all over my clothes. She is a defiant little cuss!
Both DH and I constantly comment how we could use a bit of that huge self-confidence she has.
My client apparently gave me the unlocking fob for her huge vehicle but not the keys. Unless there's something ultra special about starting this vehicle. The keys look like house keys. SIGH.
It could be a push button start where as long as you have the fob in the car all you have to do is apply the brake and push the start button. Sometimes the car has a slot to insert the fob first, sometimes not.
Dagmar, I second Allison's suggestion that you see if the fob itself is the 'key' to allowing the car to start. I rented a van that was fob-only; you placed the blunt end of the fob in the dash and the car started.
Finally broke down and emailed my clients about the car key. There's a silver button on the fob. Press it and the key pops up. Learn something new every day. Now out to the driveway and see if I can move the big beast.
I'm sorry, sweetie, I know it must be disappointing. I think you're awesome.
