Feeling "fat" again, but I'm not :o(
 

I'm a little worried about my thinking lately. I've lost almost 40 pounds. My goal was 150. When I got to 155 I remember thinking I looked "decent" but after being there for a couple of weeks I suddenly felt "fat" again so I thought I'd go for another 10 pounds off. At 145 I thought, ok this is a good weight for me. But again, after being there for awhile I decided it wasn't enough.....then came 140, and then I got a stomach virus for a few days and accidentally got down to 135 from not being able to eat.

This is where I've been pretty much since early December, at 135 pounds. And I felt THIN and very happy with my weight.....but it's been 3 months now and suddenly that feeling is back. Like I feel fat AGAIN! Even though I haven't gained anything back at all! I even have people constantly telling me I am TOO thin now......so why do I feel like I don't look the same as I did 3 months ago when I first hit 135??

I know part of it is that my stomach is still very puffy/flabby (5 kids later).....and I just can't seem to get rid of that. But still, 3 months ago I thought "I can live with this weight and be happy" and now I can't :(

Does anyone else deal with this kind of feeling?

This is such a tough feeling to have:( I feel like it has less to do with how I really look, and more to do with my self-perception and self-image issues.

Sometimes an honest, real friend I know I can trust is helpful. Sometimes buying some new clothes, makeup, and a night out makes me feel like a million bucks.

I don't have 5 kids, but I will probably always have a pudgy tummy, or tummy fat even if I was almost emaciated everywhere else :(

NO ONE looks like the airbrushed images we see in the media-- including the women whose faces and bodies are airbrushed and phographed. Everyone's imperfect.

What kind of images are you surrounding yourself with? Is it worth considering maybe looking into changing what you're looking at?

I do as well, but it doesn't bother me very often. I think I have a healthy body image, and think I look great, but sometimes I do feel like I want to lose more. I have a doughy belly from 2 kids but overall I think I look great. I have accepted that I will need a tummy tuck to have the body back that I want! I'm toying with maintaining my weight from 130-135 because I"m not sure I want to lose more. It's the belly skin that makes hides how skinny I really am.....

So I wonder have you noticed when this feeling comes back, is your life more stressful? Is there anything that reoccurs when this feeling starts bugging you off and on?

You know what always makes me feel better? Posting pictures here! The comments you get back carry you on for DAYS! If you're hesitant about showing your face you can always crop out the head.

Just a thought. ;)

Yes, I have these days. I'm wondering about maintenance because I get to feeling like that every time I stall.

Well really, I don't watch much TV and don't read magazines very often......and most of my friends and family ARE a bit overweight so I don't know. Of course, we see the "perfect" women everywhere, it's not like I have to watch TV much to find that. And I know most of those people are airbrushed and things like that.....I don't even care to be THAT perfect. LOL

Actually, life has been pretty boring lately. I'm a stay at home Mom and our weather has been so bad (Ohio) that I've been staying home alot more than usual.....So maybe that is why. I'm bored and have too much time to think about things and over analyze LOL Not to mention when I'm home I am wearing baggy sweats or PJ pants and big shirts. Hmmm....something to think about! That could very likely be why I'm feeling "yucky" right now!

Ok, here goes....LOL I don't have many pictures of myself but I did take these about 2 months ago when I was feeling better about myself :) I can even look at these pictures and think I looked ok, but then go look in the mirror right now and feel differently. But here I sit in my PJ pants again with no makeup on, so that might really have alot to do with it :)

http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/...e/IMG_7372.jpg http://i1125.photobucket.com/albums/...e/IMG_7240.jpg

it's hard to be a sahm! I know it seems silly but get dressed, put on a little make-up even if you're not going anywhere. I'm sure the end of the winter doesn't help any. It doesn't snow where I live now, but I still remember that blah feeling at the end of the winter when I did live where it snowed. And here it is...almost spring and you say the weather is still bad. BOO!!!!

The hardest part for me is in general, feeling like society doesn't value all the hard work we do. Constant cracks of "you eat bon bons all day" "when are you gonna work" blah blah, it just doesn't help any lol

You look amazing, and tiny!!!

Thank you for the compliment!

You're right, I should start "fixing myself up" a lil bit, even on home days. I was just thinking and realized that today when I was cleaning the bathroom, everytime I left the room and walked back in, I saw myself in the mirror and thought "Uuuggh, look at me!". It's 3pm and I have no make-up, haven't even showered yet, and my hair is a mess :dizzy:

and yes the weather sucks here.....today it's 41 degrees and rainy. I hear tomorrow we will have snow on the ground again :(

You do look amazing (and skinny!!)!!
Yes, I have those days too. Sometimes I have days where I feel thin and fat all in the same day. Sometimes I feel thin, get on the scale and see a number larger than I expected, and feel fat!

I agree with the others-- try to get yourself together each day even if you aren't going anywhere. Winter can be depressing and it sounds like you have the winter blues or blahs!

You are so tiny! You have a lovely waist and I can see a muscle popping out on your forearm! I love that! I'm so glad you posted a picture.

I always feel fat in my PJ's. ;) Always, always.

And I know when you have straight hair you want curly hair, but this curly haired gal is sitting here envious of your gorgeous sleek hair. :)

*I* have a muscle?? Are you sure?? LOL :lol:

Really, you all are tooooo sweet. I appreciate the compliments. I went and put some makeup on and put my hair up before the hubby got home, and that really did cheer me up a little bit :)

ELIANA, my hair doesn't always look like that, trust me! It's normally kind of frizzy and straight but with a weird wave here and there. It's amazing what a flat iron will do! LOL

I've been in the house for 4 days straight.....tomorrow I'm going out to do some shopping with my Mom, so hopefully it IS just some winter blues and getting out of here will help....not to mention getting out of my PJ pants ;)

I don't know about you, but the weight loss was only the beginning of the journey for me. There is an entirely different, more difficult if you ask me, phase of self acceptance that has to occur. For many we don't realize that our "weight" issues go beyond the physical to the inside. I had always heard this was true, but thought it was cheesy and just made things too complex. But after listening to this nagging voice in the back of mind for the last few months that keeps saying oh just 5 more lbs will give me the body of my dreams, I've come to realize that I need to be at peace and accept the body of right now. Of course it's not perfect and it never will be, no one's is, but it's beautiful in it's own way and it's mine.

I've kept lowering my goal weight for just this reason. 120 pounds ago I just hated the vast majority of my body, but at least there was room to make endless improvements! Now I've dieted and exercised my way into a body that I almost love, but with 8 pounds to go (okay, maybe 10 but NO MORE!) at some point very soon I will have close to the best body I am able to have and it's an unsettling feeling to think about accepting even a body I'm 90% happy with. Too many years of negativity towards it I guess.