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Old 01-31-2011, 01:41 PM   #1
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Default Talking About Weight...when you don't need to lose anymore

Do you speak up or remain quiet when people (especially people who don't know that you were once overweight/obese) talk about weight issues? Does it make a difference if the people know or don't know that you used to be overweight? If you're voicing an opinion with people who don't know, do you feel that you need to tell them in order to justify your opinion?

I'm around a lot of people now that don't now that I used to be obese. I guess I've lost about 35 pounds since I met them, but they have no idea that I was ever 255. I am hesitant to speak out when it comes to weight related topics because I feel like I would have to then say that I used to be overweight/obese, so I'm not just picking these ideas up out of the air. However, I don't particularly want to share that information. I like that I have a group of people to whom I've never been really fat. I will talk about things with people who do know, but not with people who don't.
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Old 01-31-2011, 01:45 PM   #2
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I personally would shout it from the roof tops!! But that is me.

To lose that much weight is not easy and a long journey, and you should be very proud of yourself and what you have done. You never know if something during your journey could help another, or be the motivation to get someone started on the path to better health.

But do what you are comfortable with
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Old 01-31-2011, 02:19 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ready4skinny View Post
I personally would shout it from the roof tops!! But that is me.

But do what you are comfortable with
^^THIS^^ is me, too.
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Old 01-31-2011, 02:21 PM   #4
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I don't advertise it anymore. The times that I did, I got the "No way, you're lying, do you have pictures, I wanna see, how'd you do it, how long did it take?" etc. I understand what you mean, I will discuss it with those that know, but new people, I keep it to myself. It's just a preference I choose to go with. I feel more comfortable going this route.
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Old 01-31-2011, 02:55 PM   #5
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It just leads to long, complicated conversations if I tell people. 90% of the people in my life right now know. I have plenty of people to talk about it with and I'm not generally quiet. It's just so nice to have people who don't perceive me as the girl who used to be fat. I still expect people to look at me when being overweight is mentioned and I'm always surprised when they don't.

I had to weigh people in at work for something and one girl was about my starting weight and was fussing. She was from a different department and I didn't know her and I felt really uncomfortable. Before I lost weight, I would have just said "I know the feeling" and that's what I wanted to say this time, too, because I DO still know what that feels like, but it seems condescending or insincere if I say anything now.
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Old 01-31-2011, 03:19 PM   #6
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I live in a very rural community, and 95% of the people know I used to be the fat chick. Since I have lost weight there have been some new people to the community, and like you, it was nice to have some acquaintances that didn't know me as a "used to be". Unfortunately, it was only a matter of time before the rumor mill got around to them, and they found out the "truth". It doesn't seem to matter with them, but I somehow feel like I was dishonest to them...ANYWAY...lol

I TRY to never bring up weight/diet/weight loss at all. (That is what I have 3FC for.) It's like a white elephant in the room in my area. Most are overweight, they don't like it that I'm not anymore, and it's not a topic of conversation. You either eat, drink and be merry, OR keep your damn mouth shut.
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Old 01-31-2011, 03:33 PM   #7
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I don't comment on others' weight nor do I bring up my weight loss. The question people would always ask is "How did you do it?" and the answer (eat less, move more) would always disappoint them.
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Old 01-31-2011, 04:39 PM   #8
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No, I don't. For one thing, I have regained a good part of weight since reaching goal, so the story would not exactly be an example of long-term success. But even before I regained, I didn't discuss my own weight loss.

I moved to a new town after I lost, and it was such a relief not to have all that attention from well-meaning people gushing over how much I had lost and how good I looked. I mean, it does get old. People in my new town just treated me like I was... normal! They didn't ask me what I ate, or whether what I was eating was "on my diet," or whether I was "allowed" to have X or Y,

So, no, usually I stay out of those conversations. Besides, people being what they are, I'd rather not have the gossip mill whispering behind my back ("Did you know she used to weigh xxx? No, really!")

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Last edited by JayEll; 01-31-2011 at 08:23 PM.
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:36 PM   #9
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So far I have mostly avoided the discussion with people who have only recently met me, which is not a problem because I'm not a particularly out going person! Most people I've met recently are still at the "nice weather we're having" stage with me.

However, at work recently one of my co-workers was checking out a muffin and another co-worker was encouraging her to put it back based on the carb count. I casually asked how many calories were in it and he shrugged me off with an almost unkind, "You don't need to worry yourself about calories." I smiled and told him I'd recently lost 80 pounds and then he changed his tune. So yeah, he perceived me differently in a weight related topic first perceiving me as a naturally thin person and then realizing I indeed had reason to ask about calories.

I've been on the end of the person getting unsolicited advice from a person I always assumed was naturally thin and I admit I took her more "kindly" I guess after she revealed she'd lost 50 pounds.

If I was more outgoing...I'd go out on the roof top and shout I've lost over 80 pounds! I would! I might wear a shirt that reads "100 pounds lost" when I get there. And it will be form fitting!
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Old 01-31-2011, 05:43 PM   #10
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Interesting that you brought this up right now. I moved after my 100 lb loss and nobody here knows that I used to be morbidly obese....

This morning, I was talking to a colleague who is heavier than me about a possible obesity initiative (I work in health care...) and I asked about certain criteria that are used to identify patients as high risk. She started telling me about another colleague who "used to be morbidly obese, but had bariatric surgery" and so had a special sensitivity to these issues....

I sat there unsure of what to say. Part of me wanted to say, "I used to be morbidly obese too and I also have a special sensitivity to these issues..." But part of me thought "she does not need to know that about me..." In the end, I said nothing...

I used to enjoy how many compliments I got on the weight loss, but I enjoy even more the fact that people in my life now never knew me like that.
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Old 01-31-2011, 06:04 PM   #11
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I usually keep quiet, mostly because I feel awkward haha
A lot of my friends and family have asked for advice and I used to shy away from doing that but now I've started to give them the basic guidelines of what I did to reach my goal but I also let them know that everyones different and they have to find the right (healthy) method for them.
Along the same lines, I'm about to sit for my personal training certification exam and I'm almost excited to start working so that I can tell my clients that I understand because I've been there!
When it comes to strangers I havent outright told anyone that I "used to be fat" because its kind of a sensitive topic with me but people have found out from mutual friend who knew me before my weight loss.
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Old 01-31-2011, 08:11 PM   #12
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If people solicit advice or commiseration I'll happily oblige them, but other than that I don't say much. I've never been obese or had to wear plus sizes and it is a pain to explain to people how "I used to be fat...well I mean I wasn't THAT fat, but I was overweight...ah never mind."

I do get a HUGE kick out of showing people my "before" pictures from high school and seeing their reaction, though. Everyone loves an ego boost...
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Old 02-01-2011, 11:02 AM   #13
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If I wanted people to think of me as fat, I would have stayed fat.

Sometimes I share former fat information, sometimes I don't.
It depends on the situation and on my mood.
However, I don't share pictures.

Morbidly obese people look pretty much the same, because no matter where you carry it,
there are only so many places on the body to do so.
Photoshop is so common now, that a fat picture is PROOF of nothing.
There is also an element of "Freak Show" or Circus fat lady,
in the fascintation people seem to have in looking at "Before" pictures.
If anyone needs the "Inspiration" of looking at Before pictures,
they can watch a weight-loss show on tv for that.

People who knew me fat know what I looked like.
People who didn't can look in the mirror
or watch a TV show like Biggest Loser.
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Old 02-01-2011, 12:10 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bright Angel View Post
[COLOR="Blue"]Photoshop is so common now, that a fat picture is PROOF of nothing.
There is also an element of "Freak Show" or Circus fat lady,
in the fascintation people seem to have in looking at "Before" pictures.
If anyone needs the "Inspiration" of looking at Before pictures,
they can watch a weight-loss show on tv for that.
Wow. I never realized that some people might think that I photo-shopped my before pictures to make myself look like a freak show. Boy, do I feel like an idiot.
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Old 02-01-2011, 12:30 PM   #15
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Naw, I'm pretty sure that was you, Lori Bell. And I don't think Bright Angel was singling anyone out.

But now and then on 3FC, a few of the before (and after) photos have been a little questionable as far as identity--not that they had been photoshopped to look fat. Haven't seen any recently, though.

Jay
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