[ncuneo]

...as maintainers to stick around and help those still going through their journey. I often feel as though I do, because while I was losing, as much as I found great help in the advice that came from my peers, I ofter trusted the advice of the maintainers and those who had "been there done that more". But I'll tell you, going to those threads we see posted over and over and over again, just gets exhausting. But I feel likes it's our duty or something to pay it forward so to speak and maybe save someone some time and heart ache by hearing from someone who's already been through what they're going through.

Anyway, I just was wondering what you all thought about this...I have too much time on my hands tonight and need to stay away from the fridge

[DisgruntledOne]

as a non maintainer but a member for awhile I am putting in my two cents. It is nice to have people like you chime in on topics but I don't think you should feel an obligation to do so. One thing that kinda gets to me sometimes is the fact there is a search area on this site for a reason. No offense to anybody but if there is a question someone has about say water then go to the search area and look for threads about water!

[Michou]

Just the fact that you got to your goal and the most important part that you are maintaining the weight is a good exemple and you can offer guidance that is based on facts.

I am new here, not an expert, just a person loosing weight but I am fortunate to work with a nutritionist and a personal trainer therefore I am in good
Hands to reach my goal. But for a lot of people it is not an option and the information that is provides is often totally false. You can provide information that is accurate.

On the other if it becomes a burden you have no obligation to do it and should not feel guilty.

[cherrypie]

I don't think you are obligated. but we are glad to have you. And I think staying around is likely to keep you honest

[LiannaKole]

As someone who isn't a maintainer, I definitely appreciate any input that maintainers provide, even if it isn't directed at non-maintainers. Like, just the threads in the maintenance section are helpful.

But I don't in any way think you have to help. If it's something you want to do, then that's good. If not, then that's fine too. But again, I know from experience that the advice of people who are farther along is invaluable at times.

[Rana]

I don't think anyone is obligated, but I'm glad you're around... not only because of your past experience in the process of losing weight but also in how it's still a process when you're maintaining....

If you see the same threads over and over I don't think you have to answer them.... I would evaluate based on how long it might take you to answer versus how much energy you want to put into it.

[saef]

I do feel something of an obligation, yes, but I don't fulfill it methodically.

I have to have a little bit of time on my hands. The post has to catch my eye.

Sometimes it's the title. An edge of desperation often draws me. Yeah, there's some rubber-necking going on.

Sometimes I relate to something the particular poster has said. Sometimes I see warning signs in what he or she has written.

Sometimes I don't respond immediately, but when I'm away from the site, I actually find myself remembering the post & I'm still thinking about it.

Sometimes I just want to shoot off my smart mouth.

Anyway, I think posting selectively is okay. My theory is, it's a bit like "sponsoring" someone. You pick & choose. You don't have to give unstintingly to everyone all the time. Yeah, I know that a Good Woman does that, but I am only somewhat good, sometimes. Because studies at 3FC have shown that trying to be a Good Woman all the time & think only of others can make you really, really fat & unhappy.

There's just not enough time & energy in the world, Ncuneo. If you feel an obligation, you give what you can, when you're able & when you're moved to, and that's fine. That's enough. No need to pledge your life & all your free time.

[Aclai4067]

Originally Posted by ncuneo

going to those threads we see posted over and over and over again, just gets exhausting.

Not a maintainer, but even I feel that way from being around here losing for a couple years now. Especially with the rant and "give me motivation" threads. Some day's I'm in the mood to be sympathetic, others, I feel like saying "stop b****ing and and just do it." Frankly, both are good responses IMO.

In regards to are you obligated to stick around, I don't think so. But we sure appreciate those of you who do!

ETA- I love how you've gotten far more responses from non-maintainers. Such as it goes on 3fc

[TJFitnessDiva]

I haven't been active like I used to....got fried from repeating myself & then my computer died. It was a nice break & I've regrouped enough to feel helpful again.

I don't feel obligated but I do believe in paying it forward

[Tuca125]

Persoli It get me down , if i post something , and nobody aswer , you know we post for help.. Is nice to see , that at least one person answer.

As for my I will love to post more, help more people base in my onw expirence ... But mi english thas my big problemen .... It taka time for me to post something like this. ( but it have been improbing alot)

Anyways thanks for reading and answer.

[Oboegal]

Good question, ncuneo. I know how you feel about the "pay it forward" aspect of things, but I don't think you should feel obligated to spend time on 3fc at the expense of other things you need to do.

I expect to get into the pattern of keeping up with the Maintainer's forum and skimming some of the other ones when I have more time, replying when the mood strikes (sort of what saef described, I guess). There are lots and lots of lots of posters, but relatively few in maintenance, even fewer at any particular stage of maintenance. Because of that, and because of the fact that posts by new maintainers (such as yourself) were so incredibly invaluable to me, I think that reports about my experiences as a new maintainer are most likely to be useful/valuable without duplicating what two dozen other people could say at least as well as I could.

[mandalinn82]

I hate the word obligation...to me, it implies drudgery. I stick with 3FC, continue welcoming newbies, and continue answering a lot of the same questions because I really enjoy it. Also, there is a definite element of paying it forward...3FC is and was so helpful to me, and I want it to be helpful to everyone else. In fact, I so enjoy and respect this place that I devote quite a few hours on the mod-side, keeping it clean, spam-free, and supportive. The fact that it keeps me on track is a great bonus, too.

I don't have enough time and energy to respond to every post, but I'm reading A WHOLE LOT to ensure posts are within the rules and that questions are being answered. I remember what it was like when I joined, and how I was immediately welcomed and my questions answered (by my now co-mod, Junebug!). It got me to stick around, and we all see where that led. So I don't mind the repetitive questions, the January intro floods, etc. I'm just grateful that people found us, and hopeful that they can use this place to achieve their goals.

[BillBlueEyes]

Nope, no obligation, none.

Posting keeps me involved here so I remain accountable which keeps my head screwed on right to stay the course. If I knew an easier way I'd do that instead.

It also works by reminding me of the ways of thinking that I've had and that continue to pop up when I least expect it. I'm a fan of the Cognitive Therapy approach of Dr. Judith Beck. Repeatedly reminding my brain is part of the solution.

A much better idea is to live in a place where the only food ever visible or available is what's on my plan so I don't have to work or think about it. Haven't found that place yet. But then I'd miss stumbling into questions like you just posted, for which I'm grateful for tweaking me to remember that I'm here because I want to be. So if a beginner finds anything I post that's encouraging or useful, grateful isn't called for - I'm doing it for me - just enjoy it and savor that if one person is able to stay in maintenance for a while, then you can also.

[JayEll]

If you get something out of reading the posts, and you feel like responding to some of them now and then, that's fine.

But, some people have a tendency to turn everything they do into a task they must perform. Therefore they make their lives into one big To-Do list, and feel unhappy if they don't "accomplish" everything on the list. This is no way to live, and it takes the pleasure out of things.

There is no obligation to post responses on 3FC. And, none of us are experts anyway, except in our own experience.

If you are moved by compassion to help someone, then responding is a good thing to do. If, on the other hand, you find yourself wanting to slap someone silly (so to speak), then maybe it's time for a rest...

Jay

[Fressca]

Originally Posted by ncuneo

...as maintainers to stick around and help those still going through their journey. I often feel as though I do, because while I was losing, as much as I found great help in the advice that came from my peers, I ofter trusted the advice of the maintainers and those who had "been there done that more". But I'll tell you, going to those threads we see posted over and over and over again, just gets exhausting. But I feel likes it's our duty or something to pay it forward so to speak and maybe save someone some time and heart ache by hearing from someone who's already been through what they're going through.

Anyway, I just was wondering what you all thought about this...I have too much time on my hands tonight and need to stay away from the fridge

I'm not a maintainer, more of a struggler, but I really appreciate the time and trouble - and the kindness! - of the maintainers who look out for others on this board. I'm sure it must be frustrating to see the same questions/problems/rants over and over again from those of us just starting out or who haven't got it yet. I, for one, really appreciate you all, and often look for the posts of a few who I really feel a connection with.

But I don't think anyone has an obligation to fulfill here. I'm sad when someone whose advice I value disappears from the board (as has happened recently), but hopefully there will be others along the way who can pick up the torch.

Thank you, Maintainers!