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Old 06-25-2009, 08:01 AM   #16  
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I feel that way sometimes when my husband and I go out to eat. We rarely do it anymore, but when we do I SO want that chicken fried steak he's having...or those Texas Roadhouse "chicken critters" and steak fries. And bread with butter. Right now my two nearly overwhelming cravings are for a cherry or chocolate fried pie (300-320 calories) and an order of Sonic mozzarella cheese sticks (470 cals I think). So obviously I'm not gonna eat 'em...but I find myself briefly missing the time when I could or would eat them without the guilt.

That being said...not gonna do it. I know it'll start a downhill slide, or at the very least make me feel horrible...
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:03 AM   #17  
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Thanks guys, it helps just to know I'm not the only one feeling this way! I did go for a swim last night and I avoided the chocolate covered frozen bananas in my freezer. I really don't feel like this every day -- there are days when I really just feel like eating a big salad and glass of water and the thought of junk food turns me off. Those just aren't quite as frequent!

Jay, I have thought about at least going for metabolic testing. My doctor says that since my thryoid labs are normal now, it should not be affecting my metabolism. She recommended seeing a nutritionist for weight loss advice, but I kind of feel like I already know what's healthy to eat so why should I waste money paying someone else to tell me what I already know? Eat whole grains, lean proteins, and lots of fruits and veggies. Mono- and poly-unsaturated fats. Not too much refined sugar. More whole foods, fewer processed foods. Not too much sodium. Eat fewer calories than you burn and you will lose weight. The metabolic testing might be useful though, to at least give me a baseline.

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And I know that listing all of the accomplishments you have made and thinking about how great you feel goes right out the window when that "Limited Time Dark Chocolate Reese's Cup" (uh, maybe that one is me ) or wheel of brie stares you in the face at the grocery store and your pants already feel a little snug so why the heck not?
Shannon, this is exactly how I feel. Or alternatively, "Look at all this that I've accomplished! Surely it's okay for me to eat some ice cream!"
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:18 AM   #18  
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Originally Posted by paperclippy View Post
Or alternatively, "Look at all this that I've accomplished! Surely it's okay for me to eat some ice cream!"
I get that one too - often after exercise. I think "I just ran five miles, I can have a Frosty from Wendy's". Kind of self defeating, though.

Good job on resisting the frozen bananas last night! How are you feeling today?
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:33 AM   #19  
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I think you are really normal. Or maybe I just think you are normal cause I also have times of feeling that way.

I talk to myself a lot and when I feel that way, here are some of the reminders I share with myself:

"Eating whatever I wanted never made me happy"---Thanks to Glory for that gem.

"Eat like everyone else, look like everyone else." That doesn't mean I can never have an occasional sweet or dessert, but the enormous amount of crap food that I come across in my daily life is impressive. The secretary's birthday is important to her, and I'll say happy birthday, but it doesn't mean I need a piece of cake in her honor, not when there is birthday cake in the office at least twice a month. I can quietly make my own choices and I do not need to justify myself to anyone else.

"Food matters." It really does. I think those of us who are enthusiastic exercisers need to be really aware of our energy needs. A 3 mile run can be completely undone with a spoonful of peanut butter. (Please note that I do not believe in a totally neat and mathematically accurate exchange of exercise and food calories, I think that overarching behavioral changes are the key). My trainer says that nutrition is 90% of training. 90%! I agree, and that means that food choices drive my body and my health a lot more than I wish they would.

You are definitely not alone with your feelings. I know it helps me to think about other 3FC maintainers across the US and around the world who also share my feelings and concerns. It is part of the journey. Our paths have a lot of similarities.

I think it is interesting, as an aside, how many of us are working on 10-15 pounds. Is it psychological? Biological? A result of our redline mentality? I need to dump about 9 lbs from my European adventure, and then I will be back to struggling with those last 5 elusive pounds. So a lot of us are in the same boat.
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Old 06-25-2009, 09:53 AM   #20  
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I definitely have moments where I miss eating with wild abandon, and there was always something so comforting about a GIANT plate of food.

But I don't miss the other 21 hours in the day where I would feel guilty, pathetic, angry, self-loathing, and helpless.
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Old 06-25-2009, 11:53 AM   #21  
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Originally Posted by paperclippy
She recommended seeing a nutritionist for weight loss advice, but I kind of feel like I already know what's healthy to eat so why should I waste money paying someone else to tell me what I already know?
Because you are stuck and having a problem! Because a professional might have some insights or information that you would find useful. Because there are other approaches besides what's worked in the past. Because your doctor says your metabolism is "normal" and suggested you see someone?

I'd say look for a registered dietitian, and one who is a certified specialist in sports dietetics (CSSD).

Jay

Last edited by JayEll; 06-25-2009 at 01:19 PM.
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Old 06-25-2009, 04:21 PM   #22  
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You know, I often feel similar at times. It`s so much easier is it?

But then again, I remind myself that I was not happy either when I did all that. All the stuff did not give me the pleasure I expected from them, and then, I was unhappy in so many ways about my weight and inability to do anything about it.

At least, you are in charge now.

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Old 06-25-2009, 04:48 PM   #23  
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I agree with the people that say you should make 145 your goal for a while. I did't that with 154 for about 1 month and then went back to dieting. That break has given me the motivation to keep at it for another couple months. Plus it'll probably help jup start your metabolism.....
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Old 06-26-2009, 03:20 AM   #24  
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What's been helping me lately when I've been feeling like that is to look at things differently. Although choosing to live healthy takes a lot of time & discipline, I tell myself it gives me a lot of FREEDOM from certain things when I wasn't so healthy.

For example, choosing to live healthy gives me FREEDOM from:
* Lack of energy
* Worrying if my clothes still fit because I may have to buy bigger sizes
* Hiding behind my black & loose fitting clothes
* Cringing & hiding when someone would take pictures of me (& scowling at those pictures afterwards)
* (FILL IN THE BLANK:____________)

It's really helped me to put things in perspective.
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Old 06-26-2009, 05:47 AM   #25  
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Tell me about it. ^^ Sometimes I feel this way too.

But I think Mandalinn is on to something. When I think of about it, I don't miss being fat, I rather miss not being worried about calories etc. I don't have the problems I had last year with worrying even about a small apple, but it's still annoying when I tell myself "ah, I must be careful with those breakfast cereals, it's grains so it's more caloric" (and yet I eat sound old oatmeal-muesli, not crappy sugary stuff).

Sometimes ignorance is bliss, as they say...
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Old 06-26-2009, 08:38 AM   #26  
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Hey Jessica, are you in a better place today? I totally understand where you're coming from. I know we've talked about how we're in a similar place. We both maintained at our lowest weight for about 2 years, then gained similar amounts of weight, and can't seem to make it budge. I don't have thyroid problems but I'd imagine regardless of that the frustration is similar. And I know that frustration. "I'm going to hang out with my friends tonight and I'm not going to have a beer again and I'm going to eat dinner before I go to the restaurant because I just can't afford a high calorie day. Again." "I'm going to this party and must keep myself under control. Again." Sometimes succeeding, sometimes failing, and the scale is still never where I want it. I hear you.

For me it's what Amanda alluded to - it's not the being fat I miss, it's being able to eat a lot of junky foods in ignorance (or even if I knew they were "bad" for me, I didn't know exact calorie, sodium, and saturated fat counts!). But I don't ever go back to that life - I couldn't. Even if I slip up and overeat when I'm not hungry, or drink too much (not in an alcoholic way, I just mean alcohol is a lot of extra calories), I try to pull myself back on track to my healthy lifestyle. I think when I think of "being fat" I'm remembering the "good" and not the bad. Being too large to fit in a scuba wetsuit is not an option. Being too tired to do my job that I enjoy is not an option. Regaining is just not an option.

Maybe a nutritionist could help you. Sometimes it helps just having someone look at you from a different perspective. If you can afford it, even a few sessions, to maybe get some new ideas from a trained professional I think it's worth a shot.

I also know I've read several stories of people around here who have settled into "maintenance mode" after struggling for a long time and those last few lbs. have come off. I've toyed with the idea myself. I think you've said your clothes are still all fitting despite this 15 lbs - so maybe this wouldn't be a bad idea.

There was a thread in this forum sometime about a year ago (?) I'm going to go look for. It was about how we view maintenance. It was interesting to read the wide range of responses. Some people viewed it as a happy place, for some a constant battle, some in between. I think seeing everyone write out how they felt about it really showed that we all have our good and bad days, and was helpful (to me) to see that yes, many others struggle like me, but don't give up. Going to go look now...

Hang in there Jessica!
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Old 06-26-2009, 08:52 AM   #27  
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Found it! "How do you view maintenance?" from last April. For me, re-reading it is helpful because it really drives home that I'm not the only one that struggles sometimes. I do have my good days, but sometimes the negative feelings of struggling, not getting anywhere, etc. take over and knowing others who've lost weight still go through those emotions too helps me get through that (without falling off plan).
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Old 06-26-2009, 09:13 AM   #28  
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LOL Jay, when you write it down it does seem stupid for me to be saying I don't want to follow my doctor's recommendation because I think I already know everything. What didn't quite come across through that is that my doctor doesn't actually believe that I already eat healthy, exercise, and count calories -- she thinks I must be lying or I wouldn't have any trouble losing weight. You are right though, I should go see a professional, it couldn't hurt (except in my bank account! ).

Kery, it's true, there were a lot of things I was not happy about when I was fat, but ignorance was bliss -- I really honestly didn't feel guilty about eating junk food. I honestly did not know how bad for me it was. I did not know that my eating habits were that unhealthy. Half the time I was in denial about how big I was -- especially since they had started carrying size 16's in the "regular" stores, so I never even had to shop in plus sizes.

Megan, here is something I'm wondering since our stories are so similar. At what point in your weight loss/maintenance did you really ramp up the exercise? When did you start lifting? I mean, I know that at least 8 lbs were absolutely gained because of my thyroid, but the rest is questionable. OTOH I did gain it while training for a triathlon and starting to lift weights.
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Old 06-26-2009, 09:19 AM   #29  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Megan1982 View Post
Found it! "How do you view maintenance?" from last April. For me, re-reading it is helpful because it really drives home that I'm not the only one that struggles sometimes.
Thank you, Megan, for finding this great thread. I've bumped it up so even more people can read it.
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Old 06-26-2009, 02:35 PM   #30  
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Wow. What a great thread. So many days I feel this way. Just this morning at Starbucks with my dd in fact. She wanted to get something to eat and asked me what looked good. I usually have my blinders on but I glanced at the foods and pastries and practically started drooling. Then, in the car, the smell of her choice (bagel) was overwhelming. I wanted it.....so.....bad...... I am usually so strong but sometimes lately in the grocery store I have been feeling very sorry for myself that I can't get this or I can't get that.

Because I am maintaining at a lower weight than I ever thought possible (with Thyroid issues BTW-- Grave's Disease), I wonder if I'm not trying to maintain too low of a weight. I seem to be able to maintain it if I exercise almost constantly and eat almost perfectly. Doesn't really seem realistic for the long haul but I've been maintaining this weight give or take a pound or two for over six months. I'm going to Houston tomorrow (to the land of GIANT STEAKS and TEX MEX food) and am really concerned about how going off my plan even a little may derail me.

Personally, if I was you Jessica, I would see a dietician and probably also up my goal a bit. When I was first diagnosed with Grave's Disease, I put on 20 pounds in a month. It was very depressing because I had already been struggling with my weight. I kept that weight on more or less for another 6-8 years before I began my weight loss journey in earnest. I still don't really understand how my thyroid links into all of this. For so long I couldn't lose and then finally I could. So very frustrating-- I hear you. Hugs....
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