I'm curious--do you see maintenance as an endless battle? A state of continuous vigilance? A path of moderation? A pleasant place to be, having lost the weight?

For those who are now maintaining--what's your attitude toward maintenance?

Jay

Jay, all of the above to your suggestions. I must be aware from now on,if I want to maintain my loss.If I don't want to regain my weight ( and I don't), I must plan my menus, and count calories and keep a food diary. This is a minor annoyance compared to gaining it all back and starting all over again.

I view maintenance as the process of balancing my lifestyle choices. Is this dessert worth gaining a pound? The answer to that is not always no, BTW. Is it worth gaining a pants size for an eating binge? Should I skip my workout and get some rest, and which of these options is better for my body right now anyway? How do I make up for that junk food that I ate without really thinking?

I am doing this for the rest of my life, and while I'm adult enough to know that not every moment will be comfortable, on the whole, my life has to be livable. That means compromises. I'd rather be a size 10 or 12 and have dessert once in a while, than a size 6 and never get it. On the other hand, unrestrained eating for me means being back at a size 24, and I'm not willing to do that either. Sometimes over the intermediate term (like now for example, during pregnancy), it is easier for me to make better choices than others, and my weight fluctuates some accordingly.

I actually think maintenance is a horrible term. I'm not at a fixed weight that never changes; I actively manage my weight in a small (usually) range that is on the whole comfortable for my lifestyle as I choose to live it.

Anne

I'd have to agree with Bargoo and probably you since you posed the question(s). ALL OF THE ABOVE.


First of all, I am soooo very grateful to be here. So incredibly grateful. I wasn't sure if it (losing ALL the weight) was something that I could really do. So it sure as heck IS a pleasant place to be. Thin that is. I still don't believe it at times. It's still quite mindblowing to me.

But to tell you the truth, I do see it as an endless battle. But a battle that CAN be won. With hard work, determination and some darn good habits that I've picked up along the way.

Continuous vigilance? Yup, that too. That mostly in fact. I still and always, always, ALWAYS will have to plan ahead (my meals and snacks) and keep junk out of my house. Have strict rules for myself and track my calories. If I don't keep an eye on each and every bite I will surely gain the weight (every ounce of it) right back. I'm 10 months into maintenance and it still doesn't come natural to me. I've got to fake it. Once a fat girl, always a fat girl. Thank G-d for the good habits I've got in place.

Maintaining my weight loss, staying within that 5 lb range, maintenance, whatever you want to call it, IS a top priority for me. I've made it that way. It's just as important to me as losing the weight was. I must keep it front and center. I will never, ever allow my weight to be on a back burner ever again.

So, how do I view maintenance? As one of the most important things in my life. Wow, that sounds so, I don't know, maybe overly dramatic? Well, so be it. That's how it must be.

"As one of the most important things in my life"- Robin- I think you nailed it. Alcoholics in recovery have a similar saying "my sobriety comes first" because without it family, career, personal growth, etc- all suffer.

Certainly all of the things that were first mentioned, but sometimes I think that maintenance just "is". I'm not sure how to explain it, but it is just something I know I have to do, it is something I have ALWAYS known I'd have to do and it is something I know I will ALWAYS have to do.

Something else that maintenance is... educational. I knew I would have to keep up my healthy eating and exercise habits for life, but I didn't expect to have to learn so many new things about my body even years after losing the weight. Emotionally, hormonally and physically I think my body is still adjusting to being half its original size and there is always something new happening that makes me go "Oh... I didn't know that my body did that", or "Oh... I didn't know that this is what most people have happen to them". For example, I was diagnosed as being perimenopausal a few years ago, but since losing the weight I have been more regular than I have ever been in my life. So I sometimes find myself thinking that this sort of thing is what most women put up with, but I had avoided for a LONG time. I'm not sure if that is the best example, but I am still learning lots about my 'new' body... AND LOVING IT!

Zelma

Tommy, I can't tell you how "normal" it makes me feel that you agree with my statement. In my "real" life, there is no one who would understand that.

I'm sure most people view me as some kind of semi-freak, that I put so much importance into my food intake. Not that I walk around talking about it all day long, but my really good friends, my co-workers and my not immediate family memebers, can't help but notice my eating habits and how I refrain from this and prepare for that and cook like this and exercise like that. Even my extremely supportive immediate family thinks I'm a bit loco at times too (probably because I am ).

It really is great to have this forum around where we can all relate to one another and get to speak openly and honestly about our struggles and triumphs and for what I have found to be, our "not so mainstream" lifestyle.

To me (and who am I??? I gained my weight back, but I did maintain for 3 years), maintenance is truly the actual lifestyle change. Losing weight is the process of getting there. If you don't keep up all the things that you've done to reach your goal, you risk going back. No one wants to go back.

So it's a happy yet vigilant yet sometimes hard place to be. It's a constant awareness and perpetually trying to find that balance in your life. I gained the weight back because mentally/emotionally I was out of balance. I just didn't care about ME anymore. Thankfully I'm past that now (took a while), but I am starting over again to reach that "place". Knowing that I was there before helps, but sometimes also hurts. It hurts me that *I* did this to myself. I'm in the process of healing and focusing again on ME and that's what's going to get me to my goal weight again.

And I WILL join you all again one day! THAT I can promise you!!!!

This has been a great discussion for me to read. I had someone ask me a couple of weeks ago if I was "obsessed now" as if that is a good thing! It made me step back a minute or two before realizing it came from that crazy place most women have when it comes to weight and body image. It was a little disconcerting though, because I struggled with bulimia throughout my 20s.

My mindset now is totally different. This is about health and wellness. I would never resort to behavior I thought would make me thinner at the cost of feeling great. It's all about me now. I think it's hard for us to really stick to making ourselves a priority and openly considering the wisdom of our daily choices in terms of our health. My partner is a great role model. She is diabetic and over the years I have learned that we always have to evaluate menus and plans based on her food needs. We plan ahead, we read over menus, we make special requests and I never think of that as her being self centered. I look at that as a really positive step - she is taking control of her health and well being. It's the same for those of us who have been over weight and lost that weight.

Thanks for getting me thinking

Balance was the first word that popped into my head when I read the question.

And then, emotions came in. Sometimes this is exhilarating, as I try new things, succeed, and plan more! As I learn more about myself in the process.

Sometimes this is depressing and frustrating, as I realize that part of me wants that stupid donut, and watch other people casually eating the donuts! Why can't I have what I want like that!

But that's a rarity. Most of the time I am happy with the balance I have struck -- though I very actively have to consider the balance every day, or I will fall!

Great thread!

I also agree with viewing maintenance as "all of the above". It really depends on my mood from day to day and the situations I'm in as to how I might feel about it. Occasionally, say, when I've been to social event after social event and faces tables of cakes, very fattening foods, with no healthy options, or a week where I'm tired and there are sweet temptations at work every day, I feel dreary, like this is an endless battle. When I've had a few OP days food and exercise-wise, and feeling happy and satisfied with life, I think maintenance is just a path of moderation.

But it's always a more pleasant place to be than when I was about 60 pounds heavier than I am now, out of shape, always feeling like I looked terrible in clothes, wanting to hide from the world, and I had no confidence at all. So even when I'm feeling the "endless battle" mood, I sort of say to myself, that's the alternative. It's a non-choice for me. I will never go back to that. And I keep fighting the battle until it turns into the path again.

I agree 1000%. It is also always about constant vigilance. Robin, I'm sure that my colleagues and friends think I'm freakish too. I'm sure there were times when they covertly watched what I ate everyday b/c they were certain I had an eating disorder (ohh, she does eat quite a bit of food after all, not just vegetables...). My health takes up quite a bit of my mental energy. But that's fine with me. I feel much more in touch with myself, physically, mentally, spiritually now than I ever have. I think "pleasant" is a pretty mild term. This is a wonderful place to be.

Great thread!

Cyndi, this is a GREAT way to look at it. I love how you used your diabetic partners' situation as an "ananlogy". You're so right. People, myself included, wouldn't think twice (as well they shouldn't) about the care and planning that goes into keeping your partner well and at her optimal health. You really have put a very positive spin on it for me.

I must say, as I sit here and read each and every one of these responses, I am sitting and nodding my head in total and complete agreement.

I'm telling you, we need a "Maintainer's Convention" or something. Could you imagine the discussions ...........?

I am not at goal so maybe I sholdn't be posting here. BUT I have never been one to keep my opinions to myself.

I come from a family where addictions run rampant, alcohol, drungs, cigarettes, gambling....my drug of choice...FOOD!! I have been doing a lot of soal searching this time around. Trying to figure why I ate, what I ate when I ate it. Just like the alcoholic or junkie, I would hide food. Iwould plan my day around when I could sneak someplace for a donut or ice cream. I know that sounds sad and pathetic...and it was. I think part of the reason I am succeeding this time and will continue to succeed it because I am getting down to the nitty gritty...I am being honest with myself.

To be honest, maintainence scares the bejeezus outta me. When I think about it sometimes I tell myself, I wll be able to occasionally have dessert, I just have account for it in some way, either by eating a bit less of something else or exercising more. Then another voice says to me...you wouldn't let an recovered alcoholic have an occasional drink, or a junkie a little snort of cocain every now and then. So why do I think I am any different.

For now I take it one meal at a time and hope that when I reach the maintainance stage I will be successful there too. I now there are a whoel lot of people here on 3FC that I can turn to for help and inspiration!!

Great question, Jay.

I see maintenance as: vigilance, moderation, and pleasant. Don't feel the constant battle part (knock on wood).

Vigilance is prep, prep, prep: Prep my food, prep my plan for external food, prep my attitude. When I'm prepped, it's pleasant to eat in moderation despite the abundance of food, whether healthy or unhealthy. When I'm not prepped, abundant food is a MAJOR disturbance; sticking to my plan is an iffy matter.


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Thanks to everyone! So much to think about, so many different viewpoints--and lots of wisdom!

I did maintenance for some months, and now I'm trying to lose the last few pounds. It is not turning out to be at all easy.

I expect to have to battle during weight loss--and to be vigilant, and to struggle, and so on. And sometimes to be hungry, and to get tired, and even feel tired generally. But I'm thinking ahead to that time when I decide I'm done losing, and what my daily life could be like.

I don't want it to be a "battle." I don't want to "struggle." I want to find the middle path, the path free from extremes, where I am not craving constantly or indulging in some craving. Not avoiding foods, but not running after them either--physically or with calorie calculations!

I haven't had alcohol for over 20 years, and for the first few years, it was a battle and a struggle every day, and sometimes every hour. It's not like that anymore--I simply don't drink. I can go anywhere and get through anything, and whether others are drinking or not, it no longer matters to me. There is no battle now. I am a nondrinker.

The phrase "white-knuckle sobriety" refers to people who are hanging on for dear life. I don't want to do "white-knuckle maintenance."

I want to find a normal relationship with food--that is, the kind of relationship that is based on nourishing my body. I want to break away from food-as-drug, food-as-thrills, food-as-what-we-do-'cause-we're-bored, etc.

I know I'll need to pay attention always to what I eat--this is just basic mindfulness. But I don't want to have to count my calories all the time, every day, trying to always evaluate whether I can eat something or not. I don't want to worry that if I miss the gym one day, I'll be "struck fat."

But, I'm not there yet. I'm still trying to drop a pound at a time...



Jay