[ncuneo]

...tomorrow I'm going to stop calorie counting Potentially a HUGE mistake, but I can always go back if I'm not comfortable with it or I gain weight or just want to.

So my plan is pretty simple and relatively fool proof. All my meals are within a certain calorie range and I did the math and no matter how I combine them they add up to somewhere between 1600-2000 cals. I typically try to stay around 1800 during the week because I like to eat a little extra on the weekends. So if a new recipe comes along I'll tally it up to find out what portion size is appropriate, but other than that I'll just continue eating how I've been eating.

The reason I'm doing it is because I've become obsessive about it and I've been denying myself "extra" potentially needed snacks when I'm really truely hungry because they don't "fit" into the calorie range I want to hit for that day. Some days I have no issue with going 2000-2200 cals because I'm hungry but other days I feel guilty about it or feel the need to deprive myself because of a rather indulgent weekend and want to keep myself under 1800. I've been testing out this plan on the weekends and it's been going pretty well, obviously it will work a little differently durning the week. Like I said I'm not going to eat any differently and I'll still weigh and measure everything. I'll also probably join the accountability thread. The only difference will probably be the snacking, but "extra" snacks are only allowed if I'm truely hungry and I've been doing a lot of emotional work to recognize true hunger verses emotional hunger.

I guess one of the reasons that I'm scared about it is that this has been part of my life, my routine for over a year and I'm a huge control freak, part of me thinks I'll miss it. But I think the piece of mind it will give me and the release from obsessively thinking about food will be worth it.

Anyway, I really hope it works because I really want to move forward into maintenance and move out of "weight loss" mode. I hit my "offical" goal in November and I think part of me has been hoping to lose more weight, but honestly I'm done. I know my body isn't where I really want it, but I need to accept it because for one thing my face is thin enough and if I lose any more weight I don't think it will be a good thing for me. And the body image issues I have I think are pretty much only solvable with surgery.

Sorry this has turned into such a novel. I've just been going through a lot of self discovery lately and I feel like I'm finally realizing that the weight loss journey is over and that the maintenance one has begun. So anyway, wish me luck! I look forward to reporting in to the food accountability thread tomorrow!

[traveling michele]

I wish you luck. Please keep us posted. I know how hard it is to change things especially when it is working.

[aimeebell]

Am I experiencing deja vu, or did you post this about a month ago too? Either way, good luck with it. I know I can't track every calorie for the rest of my life, so once I hit maintenance for awhile, I'll be doing the same. I think as long as I weigh once a week, it'll keep me in check. It is when I step away from the scale, that I get in trouble.

[ncuneo]

Am I experiencing deja vu, or did you post this about a month ago too?

Kinda, I posted that I wanted to and was looking for maintainers with experience, I never took the plunge. Now I'm committing.

[milmin2043]

Good luck to you. You've done an amazing job and you can do this too. I look forward to hearing how it's going for you.

[losermom]

ncuneo, you've got this girl! Trust yourself. You have all of the tools. And if you find it doesn't work, you can always pull out your trusty CCing.

[Shannon in ATL]

You can do it honey. Absolutely.

[Tai]

Good luck with this; I think you'll be just fine.

[ncuneo]

Thanks everyone! Today is the day! I'm actually excited today. I feel like the anxiety and obssesion has lifted and like today is the first day of my maintenance journey.

It's not a great day to start, given that things will be a little hectic today through Monday, but on the other hand it will be a great opportunity to really do it. I don't know if was the high from yoga or what but yesterday I just felt like I had this awakening and felt this peace just come over me. I finished out the day as planned, but was pretty hungry after the gym so I added some steamed brocolli to my dinner. That's how bad it had gotten, I wouldn't even let myself have an extra vegetable with dinner on "hungry days"...not good. And then something amazing happened. Pretty much every day after dinner I *need* something sweet, aka dessert. But last night I was completely satisfied with dinner and was not hungry physically, mentally maybe a little, but I knew more than anything I was exhausted and just needed to go to bed. So I did and didn't even think about the fact that I didn't get dessert and went to bed food thought free!

So anyway, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction and I know that if I'm honest with myself, listen to my body and not my head I can do this. I know that it's going to take a lot of continued emotional work and that I'll need to stop by here once a day to be accountable for what I've eaten and that not calorie counting does not mean I'm going to eat any differently than I've been the last 6 months or so. It just like with weight loss, we all have to find the sweet spot that works for us.

My DH did give me a bit of a concerned look when I told him that I was going to stop counting, but I know he's scared for me too. So I'll just have to show him that we all CAN trust me and my body to know what's best.

Thanks again!

[Mama2Five]

Originally Posted by ncuneo

I know my body isn't where I really want it, but I need to accept it because for one thing my face is thin enough and if I lose any more weight I don't think it will be a good thing for me. And the body image issues I have I think are pretty much only solvable with surgery.

I feel exactly the same way.....and I DID stop counting about 2 weeks ago, and just decided to eat "rational" amounts instead of pigging out like I used to before calorie counting. I weighed in after a week and had GAINED 3 pounds!! So I thought, I better go back to calorie counting. I did ONE day of counting and was around 1400 calories and the next morning those 3 pounds were gone. Three pounds gone overnight?? LOL

So it must have been some water weight or something. I am going to continue that cycle I think. Not counting for a week - then weighing in to see whats going on. I thought that NOT counting would be scary but it has really taken alot of burden off me and I'm not constantly thinking about what I can eat next. So we'll see how it goes.....

I also thought that not weighing EVERY DAY would be hard, because I have been a little obsessive with weighing every single day at exactly 8:30am LOL But that also feels "freeing" to not think about it for a few days at a time

[Ija]

You can do it... there might be a learning curve, but believe me, you can do it. Your body was built for it!

[Txalupa]

How is it going so far?? I'm approaching maintenance I think and I would love to hear about the plunge!

[ncuneo]

It's hard to say right now. Friday thru today have been off days. I've had family in town and today I played hookie to spend the day with DH and DS and we're going to a ball game so that = dinner out. I'm reserving official comment til later this week when life has returned to norm and I've been able to really commit and take the "plunge".

I actually had a good experience last night with some take out. I listened to my hunger cues and stopped eating after 1/2 my entre. That's huge for me. Weekends have always been a excuse to overeat for me and now I'm starting to ask myself why? And realizing that if I'm going to following my hunger cued I can't over eat for no reason or when it's not worth it.

I'll have an official update Friday or Saturday after a few days of my normal schedule.