memoir - Hungry by Allen Zadoff
 

Wow, I just got finished with Hungry. It's a slim little book, but I thought it had some powerful observations about food disorders, weight loss and maintenance.

The author lost weight over 12 years ago (top weight was 360, I don't remember if he gave a current weight) by recognizing he was a compulsive overeater and coming up with a plan for life he could stick to. He eliminated his trigger foods (as some of us have to do).

There is this one scene, where he talks about a big, solid chocolate bunny at work and how he kept sneaking into his coworker's office to stealthily hack off bits of the bunny, all afternoon. It was like something out of my own life, just made the hair on my arms stand up. I remember a leftover birthday cake in the refrigerator out in the garage when I was a kid. My family was home (weekend day?) and I kept sneaking, sneaking, sneaking into the garage, stealing little bites of the cake all day. It wasn't even very good (the author also says the bunny wasn't very good).

Our issues aren't identical (and I doubt any of us have identical issues either) but there was just enough of the "I remember that" to strike a deep chord in me.

I can relate. "Sneaking" food was a big part of my life and just like his bunny and your cake, it didn't necessarily have to be all that tasty. Although we all have different issues, I find that many of us do have many similarities.

Do I relate?? I remember , clearly., a few years ago, at work. Someone brought in a big box of donuts. Of course, I didn't eat one, I was on a diet, don't you know? The next morning I was the first one into work. There were a couple of stale donuts sitting there from the day before.You guessed it I ate one. Nothing is worse than a stale donut. It was hard as a rock. I realized at that moment that I had a problem with food. Eating stale food , in secret is a sure indication. And after turning it down, because I am on a diet. Right then I knew I was addicted to sugar and was not honest, either

What I find odd with sneaking food in my case is that I basically stopped cold-turkey the day I openly said "I'm not on a diet and I don't care about being on one" (but I'm just being careful about eating proper food with proper nutrients, which isn't the same thing). I suppose the "sneaking" part was more related to the fact that it felt "forbidden". Kind like of like shoplifting because of the thrill?

Sneaking food - not me
 

I have a variation. When I was bingeing regularly I'd mix in the binge food I bought at the grocery with really healthy food. I'd get stuff like apples, low fat lunch meat, chocolate, low fat yogurt, ice cream, cookies, and salad.

I have a feeling the cashiers were never fooled.

Since I always got home first I'd stash all my binge food in various places and quietly consume it all evening long. My DH can be very unobservant about some things.

Dagmar :tired:

Oh yeah. My mom would make cookies for about a month before Christmas & put them in the freezer in the basement. I totally remember sneaking them...one off of each stack so that all the stacks went down equally...

But you know, for me, to this day, a frozen cookie tastes a thousand times better than a room-temperature cookie!