So I lost a bunch of weight since 2004. First I went from 215 to the 160's and hovered there for awhile then about a year ago I reached 130. Now I'm in the 140's again, possibly even higher, I threw out my scale about 2 months ago... I can just tell how my clothes fit that I'm probably going up another size, so... yeah.

My problem is that I don't know how to eat normally. I'm a person of extremes. I've only known restrictive dieting or binging. I have never been able to eat like a normal person. I obsess over food. Counting calories and staying on a plan is just so exhausting. Luckily, I'm addicted to exercising about 4-5 days a week, so that's not a problem. I just get so tired thinking about how I'm going to maintain this weight loss forever. Why can't I just be naturally thin? If anyone has any tips on how to NOT think about food and weight for the rest of my life, I gladly welcome them!

I can't help you, I lost 70 lbs and have kept it off for over 3.5 years but I do think about food a lot. It's not really obsessing though (although I'm sure some people would think so). It's just not EASY to eat healthy, whole foods. It takes a lot of planning, shopping and cooking. So, I plan meals once a week, grocery shop and cook most meals. It requires thought and effort but the results are worth it.

To be perfectly honest, sometimes it does feel a little tiring that I have to be so vigilant, but the end results are so worth it. Maintenance is for the rest of my life and sadly, I just can't eat whatever I want, whenever I want and expect to stay in my cute size 6 pants.

I have made my life slightly easier by having a "roster" of favorite foods that I basically rotate. I like them all, think they taste great and I know the calorie counts back and forth. I eat a lot of the same snacks every day (mostly fruit) so it's super easy for me to keep a running calorie count throughout the day and know that I'm staying under my daily limit. So, I might choose to have the 300 calorie yogurt/granola breakfast, the 100 calorie fresh strawberry snack, 300 calorie grilled chicken salad, 100 calorie latte, 100 calorie apple, 150 calorie baby carrot/ranch dip and 500 calories of dinner. Or maybe I'll have 400 calories of whole wheat toast and natural peanut butter for breakfast instead. I just plug in the different components, but I know that almost everything I usually eat "fits" into my day, in whatever combination.

I just made it easy for me, I found FitDay exhausting (too many custom meals in my life) but daily estimating isn't so bad. I also have a nice meal in a restaurant once a week that I always look forward to. I also make it easy by sticking to my "nevers" - fast food, cream based sauces, sugary sodas and most fried foods. I also limit alchohol to 1-2 drinks per week.

I used to do the extremes too - but I could NEVER stick to it and always lost weight and gained it back in a dizzying, heartbreaking cycle. I had to stop that, so I had to come up with something I could stick to for the rest of my life. My plan is very workable (for me) and I do think I can stick to it forever (even if I sometimes wish it were different). I also wish I was as rich as Paris Hilton but I'm not and have to stick to a monetary budget. My food "budget" is just the same thing - I can't afford to eat whatever I want, just like I can't afford to spend whatever I want. My whole life, I have accepted financial limits, I'm not sure why it took me so long to reconcile myself to my food limits.

Congratulations on your weight loss and your exercising, you can figure the food thing out!

I wish I knew the answer to this problem, because as a "former" binge eater I don't ever see myself being able to be "relaxed" about food. Not if I want to keep the weight off.

And I don't think I'll ever have a "normal" relationship with food (if normal equals a person who just eats whatever they want and seems to automatically and unconsciously self-regulate calories so as not to be gaining weight). I will always require vigilance and effort.

Like Glory, I eat from a roster of favorites and that makes it easier in general for me. I try not to obsess over food, but I don't always win that battle. I don't do anything extreme, unless you consider careful counting and weighing of most of my food to be extreme.

I went back and read my post and found it a bit on the negative side. ha. I think from reading what you all post regularly is focusing on the positives of living a maintenance lifestyle and not on the negatives about "what you can't have." I should be happy with what I got and what I've achieved. I guess it's easy to lose sight of the big picture when you worry about the minute details (calorie counting, "forbidden" foods). I guess I just need a good kick in the arse back in the right direction. I'll be lurking around for more inspiration for sure!

I definitely understand the struggle to just want to eat "normally." Unfortunately, we can't just turn a switch that changes our cravings and our body's hunger signals!

From what I know, most of the maintainers on here, regardless of how long they've been maintaining, still spend a lot of time thinking about food, counting calories, logging, or just making the effort to choose smaller portions or avoid triggers. I was able to maintain without logging or calorie counting or accountability on 3FC for a while . . . . but only a few months. Of course I started to gain at that point. My three-year maintenance anniversary is coming up and right now I'm calorie counting and food logging and tracking my exercise, since I am up nearly ten pounds from my goal weight (5 over my "red line" weight) thanks to a mix of poor choices, laziness, and medical problems.

If you have only ever been on super-restrictive diets, then there is definitely wiggle room to practice maintenance. With the amount of exercise you do I'm sure you could fashion a calorie counting-type plan that wouldn't feel really restrictive. Sometimes just cutting out one or two foods completely is enough.

For me, learning to eat mindfully - really enjoy the food I eat, helped me to learn portion control. Once I mastered portion control, I was able to add in a lot of "trigger" foods that I had been avoiding. Like Glory, I still calorie count (in my head unless I find the need to log it) every day. I also weigh myself daily. I use both these methods to hold myself accountable.

I have found that I naturally make better choices now. I prefer WW pasta and brown rice and I can't imagine dinner without a plateful of veggies.

In the past, I was also an extremist. I knew I had to make lifestyle changes this time around. Foods with little or no nutritional value needed to be eliminated from my diet as much as possible. I really don't miss them. Eating every 2-2.5 hours has also helped me remove my obsession with food. I carry food with me at all times, and eat when I am hungry. Thus, the panic and food-related thoughts have pretty much disappeared.

Change is hard. I'm still learning every day. But coming to grips with the knowledge that it really had to be "forever" changes, made all the difference for me.

Would you mind sharing a couple more ideas that you have for things like dinner and snacks? I do the exact same thing, every Sunday I plan out my menu for the entire week. It makes things so less stressful during the week because I don't need to take time out of a busy day to decide what I can afford (in calories) to have for lunch. Last night when I was planning my menu I started to get frustrated because I couldn't think of anything new!

Ideas from anyone would be great =] I want to start keeping a roster that I can just pick through. (I am a vegetarian, but I am pretty good at converting meals to fit that)

thanks in advance!

And more importantly skinnymel! Good luck with whatever way you choose to go!

Ha, sure, I hope it doesn't make me sound dull - I eat a lot of the same stuff. I also do all my meal planning on Sunday and make my lunches in advance. I pretty much know what I'm going to eat for every meal/snack by Sunday night - I'm okay with this, I like that much structure.

Breakfast choices:

* 1/2 cup oatmeal made with water, 2 big tablespoons of apple butter, if I have the calories that day, I like to sprinkle on a few maple walnuts (200 calories without the walnuts)

* 1/2 cup of organic pumpkin flax granola, small container of Trader Joe's fat free honey Greek yogurt (300 calories)

* 2 pieces of whole grain toast (or whole grain waffles), 1 with jam, 1 with natural peanut butter (about 400 calories)

Lunch choices:

* Usually a salad, I make them on Sunday in a big assembly line and put them into tupperware (no, I don't have any problem with the the produce getting wilty by the end of the week - everyone always asks). My current favorite is spinach, water chestnuts, mandarin orange sections, grape tomatoes, edamame, red pepper, carrot shreddies, broccoli slaw, a few crumbled crispy wontons (which I add at the last minute before I eat them), grilled chicken and Trader Joe's spicy peanut vinaigrette (which I also add at the last minute)

* I also like salmon salad (a tiny bit of lite mayo, red salmon, dill pickles, chopped onion) on toast with tomato and spinach leaves, side of soup or soy chips (measured, of course!)

* If I don't plan lunch (it happens), I go downstairs to the cafeteria at work and get some sort of non-cream based soup and some crackers (they usually have a pretty decent selection)

* I also love wraps - leafy greens, chicken, hummus, vegggies on whole wheat lavash.

Sorry I am not more interesting for lunch, I actually LIKE salad and have it almost every day!

Dinner:

I have a bunch of vegetarian recipes, they are at work so I'll PM you tomorrow.

My dinner approach is usually 1/2 plate veggies, 1/4 plate healthy carbohydrate, 1/4 plate lean protein, some healthy fat.

My current favorites:

* Big stir fry with tons of veggies, some sort of protein (scallops, shrimp, chicken, tofu) over brown rice.

* Home made pasta sauce (It's good with veggie crumbles, but I usually make it with ground turkey since my boyfriend prefers it), over 2 oz (measured!) whole wheat pasta

* Home made pizza - whole wheat crust, spicy marinara, spinach leaves, garlic, sun dried tomatoes, kalamata olives, a little low fat feta. This is good to make half and half, my boyfriend can have cheese and pepperoni on his half.

* Maple glazed salmon over brown rice, broccoli

* Quesadillas - love love love quesadillas. I like them with frozen spinach (defrosted/drained), a little low fat cream of mushroom soup, garlic, pine nuts, artichoke hearts, black olives, sun dried tomatoes, a little cheese to stick it all together between whole wheat tortillas. I also make a great sweet potato, black bean, quinoa quesadilla. These are also great to make for couples, since I can cheese up his and keep mine super light.

* Home made chili (and other things in the crockpot)


Favorite snacks:

* Some sort of berries every morning - cherries are my current favorite. Frozen if it's too spendy.

* In the afternoon, I usually eat tangelos if they're in season, but I also like: nectarines, mangos and peaches.

* Cut up veggies (usually baby carrots, sugar snap peas, grape tomatoes, pepper strips) sometimes with ranch dip

* Carefully measured trailmix

* Cliff Nectar bars (addicted to the chocolate walnut)

* Soy chips (measured on the food scale)

* Dried fruit (especially dried pineapple or dried mango)

* String cheese

* Hummus with pita chips or veggies

Hey - as positive as I am over my big life change, I occasionally struggle with the idea that it is forever, I think that's only human. I have huge angst over "forbidden foods" and have to work not to beat myself up if I eat offplan. Sometimes, I think maintenance is easier since I do know what works and I have a cute closet to enjoy and I have a lot of good habits. Sometimes, I think maintenance is harder because it just...never...ends.

As someone has in their signature:

Being fat is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Pick your hard.

I picked the hard work of keeping it off!

In order to keep the "food obsession" quotient down, I will often eat the same meals every day for pretty much the whole week. Then change it slightly the next week. Unfortunately, I have discovered that the more I look up recipes and browse cookbooks and perused other people's menus, the more I became obsessed with food and then more I struggled with food obsessions throughout the day. Even though I'm looking for healthy, vegan stuff! It doesn't matter. Sigh.

It is a weird balancing act because I know that meal boredom can lead to struggling as well. Talk about a rock and a hard place. But I love the sig quote Glory pointed out about above:

Being fat is hard.
Losing weight is hard.
Pick your hard.

So true.

Having a few favored meals seem to be a thing we all do. I didn't even think about it untill someone at work mentioned that I have almost the same thing for lunch every day. I started to tell them "no I don't" but then I thought about it, and yes, I do. I go between a few things. I don't count calories any more, and I guess this is how I do it. I have a list of selected foods that I make, and I know the calorie counts for them.

I do like to look at new recipes and try them out. But I figure the calorie count out before hand. If it's something I like, I will add that to my "list".

There are always trigger food that we "choose" not to have. I dislike the term "can't have". I "choose" not to have things that will leave me wanting more and are not good for me either.

I really make it a point to eat healthy. Thin is wonderful, but it doesn't mean a lot if you're not healthy too.

Does it ever get easier? Don't know yet. I'll let you know. But in the mean time, feeling strong and in charge is so worth the effort!

I still have to think about it, and plan. There are times that I wish that I didn't have to think about it any more ... why can't it be easy?! But when I didn't think about it is when I gained weight. So it 's a tradeoff -- do I want to work at it and stay thinner or not think about it and regain? It's less effort to maintain than to re-lose the weight all over again and I surely feel better at this weight than I did then.

Yeah I think that's been my problem. I just feel stuck in a rut with eating the same things over and over. I have gotten way too interested in "spicing" things up by looking up recipes and incorporating more foods, but that can lead to overindulging on these "new" foods that are way more exciting (and way more unhealthy). I wish I was rich enough to have a personal chef who gave me exactly what I needed and that would be it, no thinking involved!

For me I've just come to a level of acceptance regarding what it takes to maintain this body. My original goal (which I achieved) was 130 and after being there for a bit I realized the work involved wasn't worth it (for me). I slowly regained ten pounds and I am much happier with it. At first I did feel as though I "failed" but came to realize what that ten pounds cost me (strained relationship with my partner due to my fixation with my body, weight and food) was just not acceptable to me. I'd rather live joyously in a body that is slightly heavier and be able to enjoy my relationships, food and exercise rather than be smaller than this and constantly obsessed with food, calories, exercise and being able to fit size six pants.

How this relates to food obsession is that since I basically adopted a HAES (health at every size) mindset, I have become vegetarian and really practice intuitive eating (which is a challenging skill to master). I have actively tried to remove judgment from my eating habits. I try to treat like other choices I make in life and so far it's been decidedly more useful than anything else. I'm not saying I don't have moments where I obsess or scale watch, but without judging myself because of it, I find the moments pass much quickly and without turning into huge Rosa Parks moments.

What happens is that your tastes change, and the amount and type of food that you want changes. So, eating properly becomes a habit rather than a burden. The longer one stays on plan, the easier this becomes. I've learned that for me, some foods belong in the rarely category, others in the occasional category, and many in the often or daily category. There are some foods that I'll always need to be careful of. That's OK. I should have been careful of them all along!

Jay