Michele, I'm sure his comments are motivated out of concern and love for you. :) Anyone who hasn't struggled with weight really doesn't understand that it's a lifetime commitment for us and that we're never "cured" or safe from regain. If you can find a quiet time, maybe ask him what he's worried about and see if you can set his mind at ease. Perhaps you could tell him that your focus is on health and fitness now, not weight loss, because you want to live a long, healthy life with him. You're not "obsessed"; you're dedicated to your new lifestyle.

It sounds like an unpleasant dinner! In my experience, family and friends will become used to the "new you" and (hopefully) will stop testing you to see if you'll give in and eat the way you used to. The problem is that your weight loss has upset the family dynamics and all the roles that everyone played. You're no longer the jolly fat one, always ready for two desserts (or whatever your role was -- that was mine). Family tends to get very threatened if we're not the biggest one any more. They have to get used to the new you and how you fit into the family, but after a while, the way we eat and exercise becomes ho-hum and routine -- it's who we are today.

Best of luck to you, Michele! Family issues are one of the unexpected issues of weight loss but hopefully you can talk to DH and help him see that you're not hurting yourself (to the contrary!) and it won't change your relationship. :hug:

A quick hello...I need to be at the DMV as soon as they open.

My family is here! It has been 3 months since I've seen them. Even my sister was nice to see :p

This weekend will be a lot of dinners out, and not much gym time. I'm hoping to do a lot of walking showing them around.
Have a great day!

Michele, you could arm yourself with some of the harm that obesity can cause. Doctors tell us being overweight can lead to high blood pressure, strokes and diabetes to name a few. These are medical facts. Explain to him that you just want to save your health, not just for you, but for him and the rest of the family.

Thank you all for your advice.
I think part of the problem is the fact that my teenage dd is overweight. I think my dh in particular feels badly for her. He feels like I'm "rubbing it in" by continuing to lose weight. I'm not really losing anymore but I was until recently. I have tried not to mention weight or anything around her anymore once I figured out it was really making her feel bad.
And, yes, I agree-- our family dynamics have changed and it will take time to get used to that.

I am dreading seeing my father-in-law in a couple of weeks. Last time he saw me (15 pounds heavier) he told me I looked great and not to lose any more weight or I'd be too thin. Oh well.....

Michele - I totally understand about the situation with your DD, as I was overweight as a teenager and throughout my childhood and in college I had trouble with my parents because of my weight. I would definitely agree that talking about weight with your DD is a no-no, and maybe you could tell your husband that by constantly pointing out how skinny you are, he is still bringing up the subject and potentially upsetting your DD.

My personal rule about weight and family members is to not bring up the subject at all unless I am directly asked about it. My parents don't seem to understand this. My mom constantly brings up weight loss around my sister, who is overweight. I know that she does it because she is concerned about my sister's health, but really, she is not heavy enough to have any health problems because of it (I don't think she ever hit 200lbs), and all it does is upset my sister. My dad on the other hand, rather than telling me I'm too skinny, is constantly telling me how much I need to avoid regaining. He asks me how much I weigh pretty much every time I see him (he is quite obese and has related health problems, but refuses to consider a healthy diet or exercise, and has been giving my mom the same kind of grief your husband is giving you). He also does the "can you eat that?" when I eat cookies or something unhealthy. :rolleyes:

Bah, family is a pain, especially when it comes to weight. Luckily I have DH who is incredibly supportive and has never told me I was too fat or too skinny, no matter how much I weighed. :love: He also gives me those wonderful compliments like claiming in an old photo of me I wasn't really that heavy, it's just bad lighting, or pulling my pants out of the dryer and saying, "I think someone else's laundry got mixed up in here, these look like kid's pants." :love: :love: :love:

Hi everybody,

I've managed to skim the thread, but not give it the attention it deserves, since I'm, well, exhausted. Now that the baby is here, I'm ready to start thinking about my weight again, so here is the plan. Public accountability and all that.

-Start participating in 3FC Maintainers more meaningfully again starting next week.
-Start walking again as soon as my shoes fit (feet are still enormously swollen)
-At week 2 postpartum (next Friday) pull together a food plan with moderate calorie restriction, which I will implement at week 6, assuming I check out at the OB. This will be a slowish process since I'm breastfeeding and need to protect my milk supply.
-After week 2 until week 6, really concentrate on making healthy food choices (we're still in survival mode around here and if it's food, even cookies, it counts).
-Around weeks 6-8 PP, depending on my recovery, start transitioning the walking into walk/running, and then run/walking on my way back to 5K-10K kind of shape.
-Find a couple of non-competitive 5Ks to sign up for in the fall, and possibly the local short distance tri to keep myself motivated.
-Get as much sleep as possible and don't overdo to keep my immune system as happy as possible (made this mistake with DD).

Ok, now I'm accountable. Pics are up on the "He's here" thread.

Anne

Anne
Good to hear from you. That last one is very important. Been down that road. Take care of yourself. Kudos on a plan.

Anne, it's good to read your plan since I'll have to do the same thing in a few weeks. I'm already worried about going back to calorie counting when I've gone so long without doing it. I'm trying to figure out what will be my first race, because the first one I'd like to do is mid-October but I'm afraid that's too early. By the way, the pictures are great -- I love love love the one of Sophie and Nick together. What a happy big sister!

I think my husband FINALLY understands a little about what it's like to try to lose weight, but I have a lot to say about it so I think I'll make it a separate thread!

Happy Father's Day! I'm feeling very fortunate to still have my dad, who's 80 and going strong, with absolutely no signs of slowing down. After the gym this morning, I'll get cleaned up and go visit him. What are your Father's Day plans? :D

Later this afternoon we have a graduation party to go to and, as I wrote about in the No Excuses thread, I think the best way to handle the food is to skip it entirely. I'll eat my planned meals at home as scheduled, and just go for the company. Being the all or nothing person that I am, it's easier to eat nothing than try to pick and choose something healthy. Because a little of this leads to a little of that, and before I know it, I'm face down in the desserts. :yikes:

I just finished Such A Pretty Fat, a weight loss memoir by one of my favorite authors, Jen Lancaster. It's a fun read, with her usual biting sense of humor, this time directed at Jenny Craig and WW meetings. I liked it because she ultimately found success working with a personal trainer at a gym and her descriptions of her experiences with Barbie (yes, that's her PT's name :lol:) are hysterical.

Time to get some laundry done before the gym opens. :carrot:

Meg-- that book sounds great! I've just added it to my "wish" list on paperbackswap.com. I am glad you have your father and he is still healthy. That is wonderful. My dad died last September at 81, so this is my first father's day without him.

We have a full (food filled) day ahead of us. We are taking my dh to an Italian Buffet. I have no idea what if any "good" choices I will be able to find. I've already eaten my normal breakfast so I won't be starving. I am off to the gym in a few minutes to make sure I get my workout in.

Then, this evening, we are having a special ceremony at our temple for all of the graduating seniors (my dd included). We are supposed to bring our own family's dinner and then we have the ceremony after dinner. I have found a few recipes for diet friendly (WW) salads and have bought the ingredients, so I will be making those this afternoon. I figure we shouldn't be starving after our brunch, so salads should be enough.

Happy Father's Day to everyone!:)

I like the note from Jen Lancaster on the link you posted, Meg. And the description of her as David Sedaris with pearls and a cute handbag. Sounds like a fun read.

Michele, I can sympathize with you re: Father's Day. My father died in January so it's my first without him, and I found myself a bit misty-eyed this week. My DH is lucky enough to be working where our oldest son and granddaughter live so he's going there this evening. Sounds like you have a plan for a healthy dinner--good for you!

I misplaced my voice a few days ago and it hasn't returned. Also started coughing so I guess I'm coming down with an almost-summer bug. Still managing to get out and do some yardwork, however. Started this morning with a major weed pulling sesson at 8:00 am and am getting ready to mow the lawn. Hope my waning energy can last until I finish mowing. Plus I have to pack and get ready to go to Idaho again for the week--another conjugal visit.:o

HI All,
just wanted to pop in - since I've been back (3 months) I've hit a milestone of 20 lbs (and a bit more from my highest weight, but 20 since I started over again) just this morning when I did my weigh-in. I still have a ways to go, but I'm feeling very good and very HAPPY to be back here and open myself up to you all and let you be my support system (and give BACK as much as I can).

Without you, my friends here on 3FC, I really don't know if I'd have done it this time. So, from the bottom of my heart, THANK YOU for being here - even if we don't know each other, you have been an incredible support for me!!