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-   -   I am ashamed to admit this (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/living-maintenance/141454-i-am-ashamed-admit.html)

lilybelle 05-03-2008 12:29 PM

I am ashamed to admit this
 
During the past 3 months I have started smoking again after having been quit for 12 yrs. I am terribly ashamed and it was a grossly stupid thing to do. With the stress of my son being deployed and all the house remodeling, I stupidly thought it would keep me from overeating. The trade-off has been a chronic cough and feeling horrible all the time. A weak bladder and unable to go to the gym.

After a particularly rough night last night, I have decided to QUIT smoking again. I've joined a quit smoking chat support group, thrown away my cig's and posted my reasons for quitting all over the place. Hopefully I can break this nasty habit again. I'm heading now to the pharmacy for nicorette gum.

I have a Huge reason for quitting smoking. I KNOW my hepatologist won't do a liver transplant on a smoker! My next appt. with him is Sept. 5th and my nicotine level must be ZERO.

I am scared that I might gain weight while going through this quitting. But, if it takes adding a few lbs. versus a chronic cough/wet pants/ and being denied a life-saving transplant, that is a fair trade-off. My biggest hope is that I can use exercise to occupy my time once the smoke clears from my chest.

Mel 05-03-2008 12:41 PM

Lily :hug::hug::hug: You've come through incredible adversity before and triumphed. You have an incredibly strong drive and and VERY strong incentive for quitting. I'm betting on you! Lose the shame, and move forward. Even a trade-off of a few pounds is worth it, although I know a lot of us jokingly talk about taking up smoking to lose. It's really not a viable option.

Hang tough- we're here for ya!

Mel

Meg 05-03-2008 12:45 PM

:hug: Lily! You're right that getting healthy again is far, far more important than a few pounds. Even if you gain a few, you're a pro at weight loss and know exactly what to do to get them off again. A few extra pounds won't kill you but smoking will!

Baffled just went through quitting smoking and I remember her posting that exercise was the only thing that saved her and kept her sane. And I'll never forget how amazed she was at how quickly her stamina and fitness improved without cigarettes. You were having such a blast in the gym when you first joined -- I'll bet that you'll get back and see a big payoff. And it will keep those extra pounds away! :)

Go, Lily! You can do it!! :cheer:

GirlyGirlSebas 05-03-2008 12:54 PM

Lily, look at what you've accomplished so far. Weight gain doesn't have to be the result of quitting the cigarettes. Smoking is fulfilling a need for you and you just need to find another alternative to satisfy those needs. Exercise might be your answer....or blogging, taking a soothing bubble bath, playing some games on Pogo...anything that is healthy and can serve to replace the needs of the cigarettes would be a great solution.

I'm cheering for you! You can do this!

JulieJ08 05-03-2008 01:15 PM

Oh! Congratulations on quitting already! Nicotine Zero is on it's way :carrot:

bargoo 05-03-2008 01:15 PM

Lily, congratulations on your decision to quit smoking. You can overcome this!! I am an ex smoker and I know it is tough to break this habits, but the benefits that you will receive will be so important to your health.

EZMONEY 05-03-2008 03:07 PM

You already KNOW anything I could say that might help so...how about a :hug: or two :hug:

Nicorette gum probably saved my life! Good luck dear :hug:

lilybelle 05-03-2008 03:43 PM

Thanks so much for the support everyone and for not making me feel even worse than I already feel.

I went to get the nicorette gum and it isn't available at our local pharmacy. So, I'm now waiting for Lacy to get out of the shower so we can head to walmart and get my nicorette. I had Lacy throw away every single cig that was in our house and help me empty all ashtrays and throw lighters away. I'm taking this very serious. I'm now sucking on SF hard candy to help me. I can do this. I must do this.

Back around early January, I had a friend hand me a cigarette while I was at the Karaoke club with DH. I was mad at DH (can't remember why) and thought , Oh, one cig won't hurt anything. WRONG. Even after 12 yrs. of not smoking, it immediately had me wanting them again. I went that next day and bought a pack and have been sick every since. It's time to listen to my body and my own common sense, I'm sicker now cause I'm smoking!

The good news is that I haven't smoked now since 9PM last night (so 13hrs. and 42 min's without a cig). I have already caught myself wanting one several times and having to remind myself of the reasons I will not smoke. So far today (I've been up 7 hrs.) I haven't had a single coughing fit!

my new motto is "I'm one cigarette away from a pack a day".

Meg, on my quit smoking site it says the average new quitter gains 8-10 lbs. that first yr. of quitting. If I gain 10 lbs., I'll be OK. Being able to breathe is more important right now. (plus, 10 lbs. would put me at the top of my BMI range for "normal" weight.). I just really do love going to the gym and believe that it will be my first course of action as soon as the coughing clears.

WaterRat 05-03-2008 04:07 PM

:hug: to you Lily. I've never been a smoker, but I grew up with them, and I know how hard it is to quit. Your new motto is great! I know you can beat this, especially keeping your health out front as the goal!

nineteen 05-03-2008 04:08 PM

Please please please don't worry about gaining a few lbs. Your health is SO MUCH MORE IMPORTANT.

Stay strong and know we're all here for you.

nineteen 05-03-2008 04:09 PM

and :hug: to you.

traveling michele 05-03-2008 06:46 PM

Oh! Many :hug: to you Lily!
I am so sorry you are going through this. How difficult. Like everyone said, you can do it! You lost weight and you've quit before, so you know you have a strong, capable personality. I am sure the beginning is the hardest. That is a good lesson for any of us former smokers who think it would be fine to have just one.

I was a "casual" smoker in my late teens and the night I met dh I was smoking (I was 18 and a freshman in college). He asked me to put the cig out and told me he thought it was a disgusting habit. I literally never smoked another cigarette again. I had cravings but it wasn't too bad, so I assume I was not really addicted. But I'm not taking any chances! Both my parents smoked and on my mom's death bed she was still trying to crawl out of bed to go smoke.

Stay strong Lily and we will support you! As you know, a few pounds won't make a difference and if you can exercise, I would think that would keep the pounds away AND help the cravings.

rockinrobin 05-03-2008 07:22 PM

Lily, you are such a STRONG, DETERMINED & INTELLIGENT woman. Therefore I know without a doubt that you can and WILL do this. I know it for sure.

I wouldn't think twice about those 10lbs., if and when they occur. 10 lbs or heck, even more is a small price to pay for you gettiing off the cigarettes and getting you and keeping you at optimal health. You can always deal with the weight at another time, if need be. Quitting those cigarettes has got to be a top priority for now.

:hug: Whatever you need, we're here for you. Hang tough, tough lady. :hug:

goalsuccess 05-03-2008 08:02 PM

Lily,
I'm not a smoker, but I think I've heard that smoking increases your metabolism. I don't know if that's true or not (have others heard that?), but one way to get yourself away from the smoking might be increasing exercise a bit--that would counteract some of the weight gain, too.
No matter what, losing the cigs is more important than keeping a bit of weight gain off. I'm sure it will be tough, but SO ARE YOU! Remember, you're in charge. Remember the rewards will be fabulous!

lilybelle 05-03-2008 11:31 PM

Thanks so much for everyone's input and well wishes. I've now gone 24 1/2 hrs. without a cigarette. It hasn't been easy. I've been weepy and nervous , but I'm doing my very best. I'm gonna go take a long , hot bubble bath and go to bed early.

This afternoon Lacy and I went running around to several yard sales and to Walmart and it helped pass the time. I definitely find that the more busy I stay, the less I dwell on it.


My SD, samantha aggravated me tonite by telling me "you're hooked on cigarettes and you won't be able to quit them". I said, "you said the same thing about food before, that I could never lose weight, and I did it'. I think she was just mad cause I told her she had to go outside to smoke cause I didn't need to be around it.
Thanks again all!


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